The Simpsons: Tapped Out The Invasion Before Christmas content update/Act 1 Gameplay

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Gameplay

The Invasion Is Snow Joke

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 1

Once again, our conquest of Earth during their Halloween has failed miserably. They think so little of us they didn't even bother to include us in their televised special. Why do we always attack on Halloween, anyway? I hate that holiday. So creepy with all the spiders and ghosts. Yes, perhaps the Earthlings would be more vulnerable on one of their other holidays. Columbus Day, maybe. If we're going to attack on that day, we better hurry. It may not be around for long. Build Rigellian Christmas Spaceship (1x)Kang : Make Kang Investigate Other Holidays Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 2

I have found the perfect holiday for us to conquer: Christmas. It'll be the ideal time to distribute our Invado-Bots. First, we must disguise them as toys. What is the point of that, space-moron? Because kids will take anything Santa gives them and like it! Now, all we have to do is visit the North Pole and command Santa to do our bidding. Enddialog Surrender, foolish elf! We have ray guns and space saucers. I can deliver presents to a billion children in one night and fit down any chimney. He's too powerful! Flee! Kang : Make Kang Assault Santa Claus Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceshipKodos : Make Kodos Prepare for Santa Assimilation Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 3

Kang, your plan to use Santa and his workshop was a total disaster! Much like your last birthday present to me. You said, “Surprise me”. And you were very surprised when I got you nothing. If we cannot control Santa, we will just have to pretend to be Santa. And hand out our Invado-Bots disguised as an adorable animatronic toy. Right. The humans will just accept something from an octopus just because it's wearing a red hat. No, because it's free, and Earthlings are cheap. Enddialog Phase one of operation Rule Yule is complete. Time to take a break and have some fun. That's why you invited me! Because there's nothing more fun than partying with Duffman. No, there's nothing more fun than vaporizing Duffmen. Zap! Kang : Make Kang Re-Program Funzos Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceshipUnlock Santa Kang Count : 5xTime : 6s, Location : BrownHouse() Reward : 10 XP __XMAS2017_BalancingConfig:PrizeTrack1:Prize1__XMAS2017_ActivePrizeTrackCurrency

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 4

Ho, ho, ho, larval human, the holidays have come early. Please enjoy this toy, which is in no way a sinister plant. Less yakkin' more unpackin', squid-breath. I don't trust this so-called “Santa”. Why is he handing out expensive devices for nothing? And why is his beard slick with drool? What's not to trust? This is America, land of the free lunch. Yes, fear not, meddlesome hatchling! I am here in this joyous season to destroy your planet...with love. Kang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Assimilate Into Winter Holidays Count : 1xTime : 6sLisa : Make Lisa Attempt to Warn Bart Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : SimpsonHomeBart : Make Bart Ignore Lisa's Concerns Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : SimpsonHomeMake Springfielders Get Their Robo-Funzos Count : 10xTime : 6s, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship() Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 5

Remember last Christmas you got that science kit, Bart? I remember throwing it in the trash on Christmas afternoon. Well, I salvaged it. And I've used it to analyze your Robo-Funzo. Your “toy” contains a laser weapon, and a countdown timer labeled “days until beginning conquest of Earth”. Oh, my God! And the Robo-Funzos are everywhere. We have to destroy them! After I play with them some more. Funzo! Funzo! Funzo! Lisa : Make Lisa Prepare to Battle to Save Humanity Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : SimpsonHomeBart : Make Bart Play With His Robo-Funzo Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : SimpsonHomeCollect RoboFunzos_Tapped (10x)Collect RoboFunzos_Tapped (10x) Reward : 100 money 10 XP __XMAS2017_BalancingConfig:CraftItemsCost:CandyCaneFencing__XMAS2017_CraftingCurrency

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 6

I can't get anyone to take the Robo-Funzo threat seriously. Our town is doomed! I help those who help themselves. Jesus Christ?! You're real?! Well, we're living in a town reconstituted after my dad blew it up with a nuclear blast. I guess anything is possible. Okay, big guy. Smite the aliens with your blasto-powers. Oh, I'll be doing something just as important. Enddialog Jesus, why won't you destroy the Robo-Funzos? There's more and more of them. That is your task. I am the Prince of Peace. Looking at the tags on this furniture, I'd also say you're the “Prince of High Prices”. Build Jesus' Carpentry Shop (1x)Collect CandyCaneFencing_TotalCrafted (1x)Collect CandyCaneFencing_TotalCrafted (1x)Collect RoboFunzos_Tapped (10x)Collect RoboFunzos_Tapped (10x) Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 7

I think the Robo-Funzos might know we're onto their scheme, Bart. They're activating weapons and marching toward us. If I live, it'll make a great college application essay. I've something that may help, ahoyvin. I call it the Re-Gifting Machine! It uses electromagnetic pulses to over-load the Robo-Funzos' circuitry. After which you can re-gift the non-functional Funzos or toss them in church toy drives for under-privileged Shelbyvillians. Build Re-Gifting Machine (1x)Lisa : Have Lisa Think of the Shelbyville Children Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : SimpsonHome Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 8

It looks like the Re-Gifting Machine is a rousing scientific success! With the prize nominations and the university tenuuurrre! That's great. Now, if we can just find something else for Lisa to worry about. We have to help the other Springfields. Robo-Funzos have started taking over their towns, too! And there you have it. Collect RoboFunzo_Tapped_Friend (3x)Collect RoboFunzo_Tapped_Friend (3x) Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Invasion Is Snow Joke Pt. 9

We did it! The Robo-Funzos are thinning out! I can't believe we managed to wrap everything up in one act. Usually it takes three! Well, now that you've said that, I did notice a suspicious new construction site. What's so suspicious? The sign on the construction fence says: “Coming Soon: New Brick and Mortar Bookstore”. Alien invasion site or bookstore, they're both equally terrible. Enddialog My beautiful toys, all destroyed. I was just trying to bring a little joy to the planet I plan to subjugate. Stop moping. This holiday is saccharine enough as it is. Message Not found Bart : Make Bart Hate Reading Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : SimpsonHomeLisa : Make Lisa Regret Saving Bart Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : SimpsonHomeKang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Discover Robo-Funzo Bodies Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceshipBuild Rigellian Construction Site (1x) Reward : 500 money 50 XP

The Birth of a Notion

The Birth of a Notion Pt. 1

Behold, I have come, your tentacled messiah. Happy Morphistic Quiznox indeed! Welcome out of the egg sack, my son and lord! Let me lick the birth slime off you. Not now, Mother, I have to spread the good word…about conquering all other creatures in the universe. First, though, I'm hungry. I believe the newborn of our species usually devour the father? In that case, bad news… JRigellianChrist : Make J. Rigellian Christ Go Hungry Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : Manger Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Birth of a Notion Pt. 2

Friends, I am only a humble squid-creature, but I bring a wonderful message of peace. Peace throughout the galaxy, after we conquer it and enslave all other races. Lead us and we shall follow, since we have nothing better to do. Great. But first, can anybody spare some food? I'm already ten minutes old and I didn't get to devour my father. Anyone? No? *sighs* Fine, I'll work on my sermon. JRigellianChrist : Make J. Rigellian Christ Prepare to Preach Count : 1xTime : 1h, Location : Manger Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Birth of a Notion Pt. 3

People of Earth, I bring you good news. Your conquest is certain. Resistance is futile. Why is that good news? It's going to save you a lot of wasted time and effort resisting. Hear the good word! JRigellianChrist : Make J. Rigellian Christ Preach Love and Peace Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : Manger Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Birth of a Notion Pt. 4

Mother, I have preached to the humans my glad tidings: that resistance is futile. But they heed me not. Perhaps you would get wider attention if you broadcast over the human “Internet”, a primitive network they use to send naughty pictures. Ah yes, unlike our far more sophisticated Rigellian “dirty magazines”. But first, you'll have to set up Wi-Fi. Shouldn't be hard. After all, I am the Son of Cthulhu. JRigellianChrist : Make J. Rigellian Christ Struggle to Set up Wi-Fi Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : Manger Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Birth of a Notion Pt. 5

Finally, I finished setting up the Wi-Fi. That's thirty hours of my life I won't get back. Luckily, I'm immortal. What do people think of your MyTube channel? They left some pretty nasty comments! They're calling me a patriarchal oppressor. Inaccurate! Our species is a matriarchy. The females inject their eggs into the males' abdomens, where they hatch and feed on the organs. I'll just calmly post a message explaining my point of view. I'm sure the internet will be tolerant of my opinion. Enddialog Talking to those jerks literally killed me! I will return for the Last Judgment. And I'm going to be in a bad mood. JRigellianChrist : Make J. Rigellian Christ Be Crucified by the Internet Count : 1xTime : 8h Reward : 200 money 20 XP

That Was Zen, This Is Me-Ow

That Was Zen, This Is Me-Ow Pt. 1

I, the former Zen priestess, have been reincarnated! But where? According to the laws of Karma, if I was good in my last life, I will be rewarded in this one. Apparently I came back to Springfield. Whatever I did in my past life must have been really bad. Oh, now I remember. I was making out with Montgomery Burns. So really, REALLY bad. Lyla : Make Lyla Zen Out Count : 1xTime : 8hBurns : Make Burns Search for His Lost Love Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : ThePeakInn Reward : 100 money 10 XP

That Was Zen, This Is Me-Ow Pt. 2

Why have I been reincarnated as myself with all my memories in Springfield? I'm supposed to come back as something different. Like a cat. You have unfinished business. You died before you could experience the passions of love with…Montgomery Burns. Yuk. Only when you have sated your feminine fleshly desires can you escape the cycle of the time and achieve Nirvana. I'd still rather be a cat. Lyla : Make Lyla Repress Inner Desires Count : 1xTime : 4hBurns : Make Burns Sense Love Is Near Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location: BurnsHomes Reward : 100 money 10 XP

That Was Zen, This Is Me-Ow Pt. 3

Maybe I should listen to Buddha, abandon my priestly chastity, and surrender to the temptations of the flesh. After all, Buddha is Enlightened. That's sort of like having a Ph.D in Psychology. I'll have to ask the ladies for advice about achieving earthly pleasure, though. Well don't ask me, ‘cause Kirk ain't delivering! Oh, snap! Lyla : Make Lyla Explore Her French Sensuality Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ThePeakInnMake Springfield Ladies Complain About Their Sex Lives Count : 3xTime : 4h, Location : ThePeakInn() Reward : 100 money 10 XP

That Was Zen, This Is Me-Ow Pt. 4

Montgomery Burns, I have come for you! You'll never take me alive! I'll blow the nuclear plant sky high and take everyone with me! Oh, it's you Lyla. You're not freaked out that I've returned from the afterlife? Eh, coming back from death happens to me pretty much every week. Then let's achieve our own Earthly paradise. Kiss me with those blue lips, you wrinkled stickbag! Lyla : Make Lyla Share a Night of Passion Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : ThePeakInnBurns : Make Burns Enjoy a Night of Passion Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : ThePeakInn Reward : 100 money 10 XP

That Was Zen, This Is Me-Ow Pt. 5

Oh, sweet Lyla, what a magical night of love. I've never been so satisfied. And you, my precious. Did you discover the joys of fleshly passion? Kind of. Shall we do it again tonight, honeysuckle? I'll get back to you. Lyla : Make Lyla Try to Escape the Cycle of Time Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ThePeakInnBurns : Make Burns Swoon Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ThePeakInn Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Guess Who's Brahman to Dinner

Guess Who's Brahman to Dinner Pt. 1

I have come to Springfield to fight a mighty demon, hideous and hugely fat. Yep, that's him there, cramming his face with pork chops. Hey, dude, can you use one of those extra arms to pass the gravy? Wow. What a water buffalo. I've never seen anything like it, and I've been around for 4.3 million years. Shiva : Make Shiva Admire Homer Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : Kwik-E-MartHomer : Make Homer Gorge Count : 1xTime : 6s, Location : Kwik-E-Mart Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Guess Who's Brahman to Dinner Pt. 2

Homer, you are such an impressive and noble demon, I want to grant you a gift -- anything you want. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth -- I'd rather eat the gift horse -- but what's in it for you? I want to make a new friend. My wife's always saying I should get off the sofa and meet people. Your wife and mine must've gone to the same college: Nag U. Very amusing, demon! Now, choose your gift! Homer : Make Homer Choose His Gift Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : Kwik-E-MartShiva : Make Shiva Balance Consciousness Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Guess Who's Brahman to Dinner Pt. 3

So, Homer, have you chosen the boon you wish to receive? I want anyone I put my hand on to turn into food. Weird, but sure. Tathaastu! It is done. Great. Now to try it out on a nice juicy overlord… Why are you looking at me like I'm a pork chop? I'm getting the Delhi out of here! Enddialog Stupid delicious Shiva, where are you? Homer : Make Homer Seek Shiva Around the House Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : Kwik-E-MartShiva : Make Shiva Hide in the Basement Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : Kwik-E-Mart Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Guess Who's Brahman to Dinner Pt. 4

Apu, have you seen Lord Shiva? I want to put my hand on his head and turn him into food. Hope you're cool with that. Well, He is one of the three primal Lords of the Cosmos, but on the other hand, you're a valued customer. I shouldn't tell you this, but if you want to summon Shiva, all you have to do is this little dance. Oh, not Bollywood! Apu : Make Apu Teach Homer a Dance Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : Kwik-E-MartHomer : Make Homer Dance Like a Bollywood Star Count : 1xTime : 1h, Location : Kwik-E-Mart Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Guess Who's Brahman to Dinner Pt. 5

Come on, Apu, I've been doing this dance for hours and it still hasn't summoned Shiva. I'm starving. Okay to finish the dance, spin around and put your hand on your head. Great, just like this… D'oh! Shiva, you can come out now. Homer has turned himself into food. Hot dogs, actually. Lesson learned: never grant a demon a boon. You might have saved yourself some hassle if you'd read the “Story of Bhasmasura”. Shiva : Make Shiva Run the World Count : 1xTime : 8hApu : Make Apu Work an 8hr Shift Count : 1xTime : 28800, Location : KwikEMartHomer : Make Homer Try to Eat Himself Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : Kwik-E-Mart Reward : 200 money 20 XP

O Glitterbaum, O Glitterbaum

O Glitterbaum, O Glitterbaum Pt. 1

Good news, Ralphie. You got the part of a Christmas tree in the school play. I know you wanted to be the Sugar Plum Fairy, but for that you have to hold in your pee for fifteen minutes. Yay! If I'm a tree, everyone will hang candy canes on me. Hey, that's right! This is going to be great. Now, let's decorate your costume. I want glitter. It tastes the best. Ralph(ChristmasTreeRalph) : Make Christmas Tree Ralph Glitter Bomb Himself Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

O Glitterbaum, O Glitterbaum Pt. 2

I have twinkles! Ralphie! Come back here! I didn't finish putting all the sparkles on the costume. Stars twinkle, too! I'm going into outer space! Whee-oo whee-oo! Ralphie! You know stars don't wear boas! Come back here! Ralph(ChristmasTreeRalph) : Make Christmas Tree Ralph Rocket Into Space Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : WiggumHouseWiggum : Make Chief Wiggum Chase After Ralph Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : WiggumHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

O Glitterbaum, O Glitterbaum Pt. 3

I love my costume. When I grow up, I want to be a Christmas tree. Ralph, honey, it's bedtime. Take it off. No! I want to wear it in the bath, too! Let him be, Sarah. It's the first time he shown a passion for anything but boogers. Ralph(ChristmasTreeRalph) : Make Christmas Tree Ralph Sleep in His Costume Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : WiggumHouseWiggum : Make Chief Wiggum Feel Proud Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : WiggumHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

O Glitterbaum, O Glitterbaum Pt. 4

Hi, Lisa. I'm a cannonbaum. You look very festive. Ralph. Are those empty beer cans you have on your costume? I'm gluing on shiny things. Do you have any glue? I ate mine. Um, I do, but I'm saving it in case I, uh, also get hungry. O.K. Tree you later. Ralph(ChristmasTreeRalph) : Make Christmas Tree Ralph Decorate Himself Count : 1xTime : 4hLisa : Make Lisa Not Believe She Once Dated Ralph Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHome Reward : 100 money 10 XP

O Glitterbaum, O Glitterbaum Pt. 5

Mr. Mayor, little Ralphie has a request. He'd like to be the town Christmas tree. I wouldn't move even if a dog tickled me with his tummy water. Very well. But I must warn you, it doesn't pay and in January we throw you on the tire fire. Ralph(ChristmasTreeRalph) : Make Christmas Tree Ralph Light Up the Town Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : WiggumHouseMake Springfielders Enjoy Christmas Tree Ralph Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : WiggumHouse() Reward : 200 money 20 XP

To Thine Own Elf Be True

To Thine Own Elf Be True Pt. 1

Hey, Lis -- Sky Finger turned us into elves. Wow, I actually have long skinny toes that curl all the way back in my curly-toe boots. Now to sneak into the North Pole and see what Santa is bringing us for Christmas. Bart, that's the ultimate naughtiness. I'm going to stay here and spin candy canes, or whatever it is elves do. Don't want to know if you're getting a pony this year? Well…maybe I should find out…in case I need to come up with a name. Bart(ElfBart) : Make Elf Bart Prep to Sneak Into Santa's House Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHomeLisa(ElfLisa) : Make Elf Lisa Come up With Pony Names Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHome Reward : 100 money 10 XP

To Thine Own Elf Be True Pt. 2

We're in the North Pole, Lis! You scan the computers for a nice/naughty list, I'll check the warehouses for presents labeled us. Roger. If you find any cookies, remember what kind they are. We want to bribe Santa with something he really loves. Hey! What are you two doing wandering the halls? It's almost Christmas, no goofing off! Uh, we're hall monitors. I'M a hall monitor! The sash is a fleshy outgrowth of my skin. Now get back to work! Bart(ElfBart) : Make Elf Bart Make Toys Count : 1xTime : __XMAS2014_GameConfig:PresentsGeneratingJobs:Elf_MakeToys_JobDuration__, Location : ToyWorkshopLisa(ElfLisa) : Make Elf Lisa Clock In Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHome Reward : 100 money 10 XP

To Thine Own Elf Be True Pt. 3

Man, being an elf is hard work. Making toys all day sucks! Yeah. Although I do enjoy the breaks we get for dancing a happy jig. No kidding! Jig dancing is awesome. Jig jig jig! Jig jig jig! You two! The head elf wants to see you. Now! But it's two minutes to jig dancing! Make Elf Bart and Elf Lisa Report to the Head Elf Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : SimpsonHome(Lisa ) Reward : 100 money 10 XP

To Thine Own Elf Be True Pt. 4

You two are completely messing up our production schedule. What? I'm cranking out Sergeant Activity dolls like crazy. But with zero quality control. FYI, the head attaches to the neck, not the butt. And you, female elf. You've brought our assembly line to a halt with your agonizing over what color to make the pony manes. But there's so many great glitter choices! I'm putting you two on super-low priority jobs. Boy elf, you'll be making toys for a stinker called “Bart Simpson”. And girl elf, you'll be making them for a fusspot called “Lisa”. Bart : Make Elf Bart Make Low-Quality Toys for Himself Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHomeLisa : Make Elf Lisa Never Finish Toys for Herself Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHome Reward : 100 money 10 XP

To Thine Own Elf Be True Pt. 5

Santa, we have something to admit. We're actually human kids who got transformed into elves, and snuck into the North Pole to check out the goodies, like any red-blooded American jerks. Please, can we stop making terrible toys for ourselves? Ho, ho, ho. I knew about your plan from the start. And I decided to teach you a lesson. I will forgive you, but only if you do one thing: spread holiday cheer around Springfield. We don't know how to do that. Sure you do! Jig jig jig! Make Elf Bart and Elf Lisa Spread Holiday Cheer Count : 1xTime : 1h, Location : SimpsonHome(Lisa ) Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Joy to the Weird

Joy to the Weird Pt. 1

Another birthday, and no one seems to remember. It used to be a big deal. Carol singing, holiday sermons, solemn invocations… Now it seems like it's just a chance to watch college football. Which reminds me, I've had a lot a lot of prayers from USC fans. Guess I'll give them, oh, a 15-yard punt return. More than they deserve. JesusChrist : Make Jesus Feel Sad No One Remembers His Birthday Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : HeavenlySwingSet Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Joy to the Weird Pt. 2

Enough sulking! I'll disguise my holy essence and go among the people. I'll find out what they're doing instead of celebrating my birthday. Hello, good tavern keeper. How are you spending the holiday? I'm remembering all my failed relationships. Then as a treat I'll either hang myself in the basement or stick my head in the oven. Whoa, don't do that! It's a mortal sin! Isn't there one family in this town who will take you in tonight? Well, there's Homer Simpson. He's got a big enough bar tab I expect he'll agree to anything. JesusChrist : Make Jesus Take Moe to the Simpsons Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SimpsonHome, needs Moe Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Joy to the Weird Pt. 3

Hi, Simpsons. I'm a super-cool regular dude who doesn't look anything like Jesus to you. Bart, how are you honoring the holidays? I'm playing a freemium game on my phone. That doesn't sound very religious. You'd be surprised. There's some deep stuff in here. That I doubt. JesusChrist : Make Jesus Cast Judgement Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : HeavenlySwingSet Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Joy to the Weird Pt. 4

Lisa, what are you doing to celebrate Christmas? I ask as an apparently regular guy who doesn't look anything like Jesus to you. I'm praying for good will and peace among the people of the world. Oh! That sounds wonderfully me-ish. I mean, Christian. I'm Buddhist. Okay. But suppose Jesus appeared right here in front of you right now? That'd have to change your mind, right? I dunno. There's been an awful lot of holy visitations this December. JesusChrist : Make Jesus Sulk Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : HeavenlySwingSet Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Joy to the Weird Pt. 5

Homer and Marge, how are you spending the holidays? Well, if you were Jesus… Which you aren't, because to us you don't look anything like him… We'd say we're trying to remember You the best way we can in this noisy, selfish world…by watching an animated Christmas special. But not a Simpsons Christmas episode. The people who do those are as cheaply cynical as they come. JesusChrist : Make Jesus Forgive Everyone but the Simpsons Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : HeavenlySwingSet Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Let's Take a Pole: North or South?

Kang, I have finally finished a North Pole for you to play Santa in. There are many sappy human movies that imply this place is a source of “magic”. And it is true! I can feel it in my bones! Well, not bones, more like our series of fluid-filled sacs, but you get the idea! Thank you, Kodos. Well, go ahead! Try it out! Kodos : Make Kodos Enjoy the North Pole Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : RigellianNorthPole Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The War on Christmas

Ah, this old sleigh. Takes me back to 1942, when Abe Simpson shot me down over the Pacific. We had to cobble this thing together so you could finish Christmas. Abe, how about joining me in a glass of eggnog for old times sake? No way. Last time I went drinking with you, I woke up naked and on my forehead someone had written “I lick elf bells”. Reward : 100 money 10 XP

A Rocky Relationship

An Alaskan version of Moe's Tavern? Who looks at my bar and thinks, “I should copy that”? I mean, I love my bar, but only because I have to. You can divorce a wife, but you can't divorce a career. Maybe I'll take a look in Eski-Moe's, see what's up with those Alaskaholics. Enddialog Drinks with ice?! I can't afford that in the lower 48. If people ask me for booze on the rocks, what they get is rocks. Moe : Make Moe Try a Drink at Eski-Moe's Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : EskiMoes Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Promised Land

Ah, my boy! They finally finished building our holiday feasting place. Yeah, what would Jews do on Christmas if it weren't for Chinese restaurants? And what would Chinese restaurants do if it weren't for Jews? Let the gentiles eat their holiday gooses. I'm gonna get tso deep into some General Tso's chicken! Krusty : Make Krusty Enjoy a Meal Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : ChineseRestaurant Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Unstable Stable

Oh, my stars! It's the Bethlehem stable that Jesus was born in! Boys, come over here and climb in the manger. I want to get a photo for Facelook. But I'll get fleas! Fleas that bit little Jesus. Forget what I said about the Vatican, those are the REAL holy parasites. Enddialog Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Chestnuts Roasting on a Tire Fire

It's nice that Mayor Quimby made the Springfield Tire Fire look festive, but isn't he just trying to distract us from the fact that he still hasn't put it out? Oh, honey, I would never fall for such an obvious trick. Who wants s'mores? I'm handing out free marshmallows. Ooh, ooh, me! Throw another couple tires on the fire! Homer : Make Homer Enjoy S'mores Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : SpringfieldTireyard Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Krusty's Kristmas Makes a Komeback

Now opening: a festive holiday show to put you in the Christmas spirit. No kid will be able to say no. So make sure you charge them double. Krusty, surely you are not Scrooging?! This arena should bring holiday cheer, not jeers! "Cheer" doesn't buy fresh tiger milk, and that's the only thing that soothes my shaving rash. Now, get on your skates. You're on in five! Krusty : Make Krusty Prepare for a Show Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : KrustysKristmasOnIce Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Jesus Christ, Alien Superstar

Aw, Mom. You got all dressed up for my birthday! Don't get too excited. Human Christmas happens to coincide with the Festival of the Morphistic Quiznox. What does that celebrate? No one is sure, but we celebrate it by choosing a sacrifice and tearing his tentacles off one by one. So, it must be something pretty wonderful. Enddialog Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Third-Eye Watchtower

Thank you, Jack Frost, for supplying the Belief System League with this wonderful Watchtower. Now we really can keep an eye on people! But how did you have the money for this thing? It's top-of-the-line tech! Got it cheap at an estate sale. Remember that dude Sauron? Well, he don't need no all-seeing eye no more. Actually, they're selling off everything in Mordor dirt-cheap. Really? Maybe I'll go grab some orcs. They couldn't complain any more than elves. Make a B.S. Leaguer Set up the Watchtower Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : RadiantBSStation(Shiva SantaClaus GautamaBuddha JackFrost JesusChrist DrHibbert RabbiKrustofsky ) Enddialog Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Sutrageous Fortune

Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 1

Lisa, you are a special little girl and a worthy acolyte. I have come to give you a lesson in dharma. Wow, a private lesson from Buddha! Hear that Bart? Big deal. I've got a math tutor. When he comes over all we do is play video games. It's a beautiful day, so let's start with a mimosa brunch. Om Mani Padme Yum! GautamaBuddha : Make Buddha Have Brunch With Unlimited Mimosas Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : MoesTavernLisa : Make Lisa Eat Vegan Tofu Count : 1xTime : 1h, Location : MoesTavern Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 2

I feel revitalized! Poached eggs with pancetta? That's what I call a sangha, or community, of flavors. I've colored every placemat in the restaurant. When does my lesson start? Soon. But first, a visit to Mother Jeong-ja's Nail Salon. Om Mani-Pedi, Mum. GautamaBuddha : Make Buddha Get His Nails Done Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : JakesUnisexLisa : Make Lisa Read Salon Magazines Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : JakesUnisex Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 3

Lisa, before we start our lesson, I need to get some new clothes. All I have is my heavy winter robes. I need something summery and enlightened. I guess we could stop at Costington's Big and Tall Store. You know what I'd like? A lovely crushed velour suit in dark purple. Om Multi-Pleated Plum. GautamaBuddha : Make Buddha Splurge on Clothes Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : BrownHouseLisa : Make Lisa Be Dubious About This Behavior Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 4

Now, who would know where to find a good massage therapist around here? I just got my massage license. XXX, like my moonshine. Sounds perfect. Knead the way! GautamaBuddha : Make Buddha Get His Knots Worked Out Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : BrownHouseLisa : Make Lisa Fidget Annoyingly Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Sutrageous Fortune Pt. 5

Buddha! So far all you've taught me is how to have a good time. When do the lessons start? Only the fool asks for knowledge she has already been given. It seems to me that you are completely going against the principles of Buddhism by giving into all these indulgences and material goods! Lisa, too often you follow only the way of self-restraint and self-mortification. But The Middle Way lies between ascetism and self-indulgence. I've taught you that, occasionally, it's good to have a good time. And I looked good doing it. GautamaBuddha : Make Buddha Discard Material Possessions Count : 1xTime : 8hLisa : Make Lisa Indulge Herself Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 200 money 20 XP

A Touch of Ice-Solation

A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 1

Springfield. A dark night in a city without a soul. I'm Jack Frost. Sure, you know me as a wee pixie who draws delicate designs in the frost on your windows. But that's just a cover for my real job: hard-boiled private detective. Jack Frost, because I frost the bad guys, put them on ice, and always stay frosty. Somewhere tonight, there's a beautiful woman or down-on-his-luck loser who needs a private gumshoe. I actually wear sparkle boots, but you get the idea. JackFrost : Make Jack Frost Wait for Clients Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : CandyCave Reward : 100 money 10 XP

A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 2

It's a story I've heard a thousand times. Sap loves his missus...but maybe she don't love him. Luann is spending a lot of time at Tae Kwan Do... and the instructor is pretty hunky. Thousand bucks a day plus expenses. I go through a lot of hair gel. How do you solve cases anyway? I peep through windows. Anyone busts me, I just say I'm making a pretty frosty picture. Enddialog Your wife's pulled the wool over your eyes, Van Houten. She says she's doing Tae Kwon Do, but she's actually at the Italian market eating sugared fried dough. JackFrost : Make Jack Frost Investigate Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 3

Homer, there's someone peeping in the window! It's Jack Frost! What's the big idea, pixie stick? It's okay. I'm a private detective. Yeah? Who are you working for? Uh...no one. So, you're just peeping. JackFrost : Make Jack Frost Explain Himself to the Police Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 4

You don't like private eyes, do you Chief Wiggum? Us cops do things by the book. You can't even read. It's not my fault pixie school stops at grade two. Say, can I borrow your donut? Wow, you're making pictures out of the frosting. Nice! Enddialog You're all right, Jack Frost. But do me a favor...no more private eye stuff. And can you frost these donuts, too? JackFrost : Make Jack Frost Decorate Donuts Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

A Touch of Ice-Solation Pt. 5

It's a lonely life for a private shamus, in a town where God is just another three-letter word. ‘Course, the only savior I believe in is named Daniels, first name Jack. I'm the one guy nobody wants… until you desperately need me. So enjoy your holiday, but I'll be on the job. ‘Cause evil never takes a vacation. And also this is the best time for frosting windows. JackFrost : Make Jack Frost Enjoy His Nihilism Count : 1xTime : 12h Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Angels We Have Heard While High

Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 1

Ah, man. I'm so bummed! Hmm, you're wearing a suit, and you look sad. Are you an undertaker? No, I was the conductor for the dopest train in the world – the Arctic Hypertrain. But I got fired because I forgot to pick up some kid who was supposed to have a magical holiday trip. At the time, I was having a magical holiday trip of my own. Otto(ConductorOtto) : Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Sadness Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : ColdTrain Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 2

Otto, is there anything you can do to get your conductor job back? I have to prove I can teach a little kid to believe in Christmas again. We can help! Bart's totally cynical, but I bet we can convince him that Christmas is real. Otto(ConductorOtto) : Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Sadness Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : ColdTrain Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 3

O.K., Conductor Otto. You have to prove you can help a kid regain his faith in Christmas. How do you start? Uh, by understanding the problem. Bart, little dude, why don't you believe in Santa? Because I'm ten years old, and I'm not an idiot. I only know one fat man who delivers presents and eats cookies. He also once got his head stuck up a chimney. It's true. Dad heard a squirrel in the chimney, and thought it was planning to steal his nuts. Otto(ConductorOtto) : Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Confusion Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ColdTrainBart : Make Bart Doubt Christmas Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ColdTrainLisa : Make Lisa Feel Embarrassed About Her Father Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ColdTrain Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 4

Okay. To convince a kid that Christmas is real, we just have to get him on the Arctic Hypertrain. I just wish the train wasn't coal-powered. I would think people at the North Pole would be more concerned about global warming. Oh, I can turn the train green. We just use a certain kind of green fuel. But don't breathe the fumes, little dudes. Leave that to me. Otto(ConductorOtto) : Make Conductor Otto Stoke the Arctic Hypertrain's Engine Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : ColdTrainLisa : Make Lisa Ride the Arctic Hypertrain Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ColdTrainBart : Make Bart Ride the Arctic Hypertrain Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ColdTrain Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Angels We Have Heard While High Pt. 5

“To Whom It May Concern, care of North Pole”. “I hereby affirm that Conductor Otto and the Arctic Hypertrain have restored my faith in Christmas. I will always believe until I am old and gray”. “However, if the bullies make fun of me, I will deny everything and act all cool and grown up”. Thanks, little dudes. That letter is sure to get me my job back. If you want to get high in your career, just come to us. Actually, I prefer to use some guys I know downtown. Otto(ConductorOtto) : Make Conductor Otto Self-Medicate His Happiness Count : 1xTime : 6h, Location : ColdTrainLisa : Make Lisa Self-Congratulate Her Smugness Count : 1xTime : 6h, Location : ColdTrain Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Kwanzaa Talk About It?

Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 1

Hey, Dr. Hibbert, are you working this holiday? There's a good chance I'll get a turkey drumstick caught in my throat again. Sorry. This year I'm the Spirit of Kwanzaa. Kwhat-za? It's a holiday that celebrates African heritage. There are seven principles, and the first is “umoja”, or community unity. Oh, that's like when everyone in the community comes together to pull turkey drumsticks out of my throat. DrHibbert(KwanzaaDrHibbert) : Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa Count : 1xTime : 1hHomer : Make Homer Learn the Lesson of Umoja Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : DrHibbertFamilyPractice Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 2

The next principle of Kwanzaa is “kujichagulia”, or self-determination. It instills resilience when meeting adversity. So, like how I shouldn't give up on eating fruit-cakes, even though they taste weird and nobody likes them? Less thinking about preserved fruit, more thinking about oppression. This cake oppresses me, but I will overcome. DrHibbert(KwanzaaDrHibbert) : Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa Count : 1xTime : 1hHomer : Make Homer Eat With Kujichagulia Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : DrHibbertFamilyPractice Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 3

Homer, are you enjoying learning about Kwanzaa? There's nothing I'd rather do until Moe's bar opens. Today's principles are about community: “ujima”, or collective responsibility, and “ujamaa”, cooperative economics. Like how it's the community's responsibility for my high cholesterol, and they cooperate in paying for the heart bypass. This is about a different community. One that you're not a part of. Is this the “No-Homers” club again? DrHibbert(KwanzaaDrHibbert) : Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa Count : 1xTime : 1hHomer : Make Homer Re-Live Traumatic Memories Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : DrHibbertFamilyPractice Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 4

Homer, are you going to follow me around all week? But I want to learn about Kwanzaa. It's either that or go home for the holidays – and Patty and Selma are there! Fine. Today's principles are “nia”, or purpose, and “kuumba”, or creativity. Do what you do best in your own unique way. It will instill self-worth. Like how I'm the best at drinking! I have to admit, I don't see any other way you're going to find self-worth. DrHibbert(KwanzaaDrHibbert) : Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Teach About Kwanzaa Count : 1xTime : 1hHomer : Make Homer Be the Best at Drinking Beer Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : DrHibbertFamilyPractice Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kwanzaa Talk About It? Pt. 5

O.K., Homer, you stuck with it enough to learn the most important principle of all – “imani”, or faith. Like faith that the New England Patriots will always win no matter how far down they are at halftime? Well, kind of. It means faith that we African-Americans will be able to survive and thrive in American society. In your analogy, we're the Patriots. That explains why most of America hates you. Dr. Hibbert, I'm glad you taught me about Kwanzaa. What can I do for you? Just once, don't electrocute yourself on your own Christmas lights. DrHibbert(KwanzaaDrHibbert) : Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Celebrate Kwanzaa All Night Count : 1xTime : 8hHomer : Make Homer Stay Woke Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : DrHibbertFamilyPractice Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Kris-Cross

Kris-Cross Pt. 1

Urg. Why do I have to imitate this “Kris Kringle” creature for us to invade Christmas? When we were invading Halloween, I didn't have to pretend to be some kind of holiday-appropriate monster like the Great Pumpkin. That's because you WERE the holiday-appropriate monster. Couldn't I pretend to be the Grumple? That feels truer to me. Sorry, they used him up in a previous update. Kang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Be Torn Over Halloween or Christmas Count : 1xTime : 8h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kris-Cross Pt. 2

Okay, I'm dressed up as this cheery fatso Santa. Now what do I do? Well, you decide if children are naughty. If so, you give them a lump of coal. Excellent! Coal. Devastating. I'll get right to work. Inappropriate. Regulations state you must label most kids “nice”. It's like the American college system. Everyone gets at least a B. Enddialog Giving presents to everyone is exactly what's wrong with today's permissive slave societies. Kang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Reluctantly Label Kids “Nice” Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kris-Cross Pt. 3

Kang, to properly imitate Santa, you must be prepared to participate in the ritual of the mall photo opportunity. Pretend I am a human child, and I have just emitted a large amount of liquid protein strands onto your lap. What do you do? Devour your head and send your parents to the grit mines of Deneb VI. Incorrect. You say “What a cutie” and smile for the camera. Kodos, it is unseemly to throw bullpuckey at a fellow Rigellian. Kang(SantaKang) : Make Kang Wonder How He Got Himself Into This Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kris-Cross Pt. 4

Okay, I will put up with all this Santa nonsense for the glory of our conquest. Is there anything else? Yes, on Christmas Eve you drop down the chimney. Drop what down the chimney? Cobalt-thorium grenades? A nightmare lizard from Arcturus IX? Yourself and a bag of toys. You know, if people see me doing that it's going to be a little tough to persuade them I'm an overlord. Enddialog Kodos, I'm stuck in the chimney again. Do NOT post pictures to social media. Kang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Practice Going Down Chimneys Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Kris-Cross Pt. 5

So, once I'm down the chimney, what next? Leave the presents. Eat the pets. This time YOU'RE wrong. I eat the COOKIES. My transformation into Santa is complete. HA HA HA! “Ho ho ho”, dear. Right, right. Sounds weird, but okay. Kang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Assimilate Into Winter Holidays Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Claus-Et Homemaker

Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 1

Our invasion will only triumph if we fool the humans into thinking we are Santa and his wife. Must I really wear this disguise? The dress is uncomfortable and does NOT flatter my ovipositor. What is there to flatter? Joking! Please, Kodos, put away the laser blaster. Relax. I'm going to use it to bake some cookies. And THEN your gluteiods. Kodos(MrsKodosClaus) : Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Bake Christmas Cookies Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 2

My cookies were a giant triumph. For who, dentists? I broke 3 fangs on them. Fine, I accept defeat in the realm of baking. This homemaking magazine, however, states that cleaning the house is a way to assert your superiority over visitors. I shall assert my superiority! Kodos(MrsKodosClaus) : Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Attempt to Clean Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 3

I tried to clean, but I was unable to master the human technology known as “vacuum cleaner”. In carpet mode it set fire to the carpets and in floor mode it scratched the floor. You must persevere. You must perfectly imitate a human housewife! Then I shall start by getting drunk in the afternoon. Kodos(MrsKodosClaus) : Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Drink Martinis Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceshipKang(SantaKang) : Make Santa Kang Attempt to Sober Up Kodos Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 4

Why didn't I think of this before? I'm pretending to be married to an important businessman -- Santa Claus. I'll just hire a maid and have her do all the work. Domestic servants?! I'm not made of money. You won't be made of anything if you don't do this. Kodos(MrsKodosClaus) : Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Interview Servants Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceshipKang : Make Kang Work Overtime Count : 1xTime : 60m, Location : RigellianChristmasSpaceship Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Claus-Et Homemaker Pt. 5

Kodos, this house looks fantastic. What a wonderful homemaker you've become! It's really all thanks to our new maid, Shauna. You just have to know how to motivate her! I let her and her boyfriend steal from our liquor cabinet. No harm, no foul. Now, let's celebrate the holidays! I decorated the house festively, with streamers, stars, and human skulls. Ooh, there's Shauna's. Nice. Kodos(MrsKodosClaus) : Make Mrs. Kodos Claus Celebrate Human Holidays Count : 1xTime : 12h, Location : RigellianChristmasFireplace Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses

Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 1

Huzzah! Everything is ready for Christmas, and I can take a much-needed break. Where should I start, though? Hot stone massage at the Elf Spa? Play poker with my pal Wayne Gretzky? Nah, Gretzky's too good. Plus every time he wins he yells “I am the Great One”! I know! I'll practice my platform diving. Hope I still fit into my speedo after all those milk and cookies. SantaClaus : Make Santa Claus Avoid Toy Production Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 2

Hmm, I'm not getting much rotation on my dives. Need to stretch out my quads. Santa! It's terrible! The stable door fell off. Rudolph's fine, but all of the other reindeer… gone! Olive the other reindeer is gone! MY PRECIOUS OLIVE IS MISSING?! No, sir, not “Olive”, “All of”. Stop babbling! What do you mean, “not Olive, Olive”? Let's get looking! SantaClaus : Make Santa Claus Find Missing Reindeer Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 3

Well, we never found Olive the other reindeer. But we got all of the other reindeer back. Now, back to my diving practice. Bad news, sir. Someone hacked our computers, and put all the naughty kids on the nice list. His handle was Elbarto42. We think he's Russian. So I have to go classify all the kids again?! *sighs* Hand me my red pen. SantaClaus : Make Santa Claus Make His List and Check It Thrice Count : 1xTime : 8h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 4

Okay, got all the bad kids back on the naughty list. Now to try the reverse somersault pike again. Last time I split my speedo crotch. 50px Santa! Jack Frost insult me. Call me “Abdominable Snowman”. I thought you liked being called Abominable. 50px Yes. Me Abominable. But you say “Abdominable”. You mean me fat! Oh brother, it's Crummy versus Dummy. SantaClaus : Make Santa Claus Mediate Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Here Comes Santa's Independent Clauses Pt. 5

Wow, it's tough to be Santa. Everyone needs me for something. So, who's next to interrupt my diving practice? Anyone? No? Really. No one needs my help? Ah well, I'm too tired for swimming. I only put this thong on for Mrs.Claus anyway. Hon, you busy? SantaClaus : Make Santa Claus Pose for His Wife Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions

Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions Pt. 1

Oh, great. Soooo glad we are in this miserable little town instead of the North Pole. Does this count as overtime? Because I've already put in way more than my time this season. Nobodies like you don't get overtime. Brace your elf; Christmas is coming. You just lowered my elf-esteem. WorkerElves : Make the Worker Elves Toil Long Hours Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : BrownHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Unbeli-Elf-Able Working Conditions Pt. 2

Worker elves, what's with the sad faces? You're making toys that bring joy to girls and boys. Even without the rhyming, that's pretty good. Santa's right! Let's sing hip-hooray and work all night and day. And Saturday and Sunday. And the next weekend, that would be great. And the next. Don't stop singing now. WorkerElves : Make the Worker Elves Happily Make Toys Count : 1xTime : 4h Reward : 200 money 20 XP

Time to Toy Around

Hooray, Kodos! Now we have our OWN version of the OSHA-violating toy workshop. Hurry! Have them craft some cheap plastic toys that I'll get tired of in two minutes, throw away, and then pollute the oceans with! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Kang : Make Kang Make Cheap Toys Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : RigellianChristmasToyWorkshop Reward : 100 money 10 XP

On Thin Ice

Ooo, it's one of those perilous oblongs of ice that the humans enjoy breaking tailbones on. Let's go skating! With eight tentacles, the skate rental will kill you. I don't want to go on the ice, I merely want to hold eight cups of cocoa. You know, sometimes I regret bringing you to Earth. Kodos : Make Kodos Hang Out at the Ice Rink Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : IceSkatingRink Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Cabin in the Redneck Woods

Ooh, lookie this! A cabin what's all Christmasy-sparkley and new, and don't smell of possum chitlins. I'm worried, Cletus. What's wrong with the floor? It's made of wood, not dirt. Too fancy for us, Cletus. Must be where them bears that got Goldilocks lives. Cletus : Make Cletus Investigate the Christmas Cabin Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : ChristmasCabin Reward : 100 money 10 XP

All Presents and Accounted for

Look, Lis! Santa's house, right here in Springfield. Wonder why. Guess he got a good deal. Our real estate prices have reached a new low: sub-Staten Island landfill. Hey, how about we go inside and tidy it up for him? That's bound to solve any naughty list problems I might be having. And if you find any spare toys lying around... Why, leave them right there. But make sure he knows what a good boy am I. Bart : Make Bart Tidy Santa's House Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : SantasHouseLisa : Make Lisa Keep an Eye on Bart Count : 1xTime : 8h, Location : SantasHouse Reward : 100 money 10 XP

The Gingerbread House on Lollipop Lane

Ooh, a Gingerbread house! But what if it's owned by a witch who wants to fatten me up and eat me? That's a big issue with holiday-themed food houses. Fatten you up? You already can't fit through the door. If she tried to eat you, she'd die of cholesterol poisoning. In that case, I've got nothing to worry about. Love how you enable my gorging, son. Reward : 100 money 10 XP

It's Snow Trouble

Snowmen security guards? What's next? Sand castle bus drivers? Try to pretend you care about diversity. They're called “Heat-challenged Yard Figurines”. Actually, I respect anyone who has a carrot for a nose. If I could, I'd have hamburgers for ears. Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Ginger Bread and Loving It

Look, Homie! Our house is made of gingerbread. Isn't it pretty? It's certainly going to save a lot of time on midnight snacking. Are you saying this could be a bad idea? The Hindenburg was a “bad idea”. This is a disaster. Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Nay Care Day Care

Look, Maggie! A brand-new daycare for you, with a slide that goes through the door! suck suck* Ma'am, I'm afraid this daycare is only for elf babies. We wouldn't want your child to catch elf-pox. But the one-eyebrow baby is in there! Yes, but he's half-troll. That explains why they served billy goats gruff at his birthday party. Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Snakes on a Sleigh

…Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen...All shackled up and ready to go. We just need Rudolph. Uh, Santa? Remember how Bart Simpson asked for a python for Christmas? And we said no, that's too dangerous, but you said, “Aw, let him have it, maybe we'll get lucky and it'll eat him”. The snake got hungry early. Enddialog Reward : 100 money 10 XP

'Twas the Night Before Scratch-Mas

The kids are all getting presents from Santa, but he never brings me anything. If you are looking to get something for nothing in this festive season, try my new holiday Scratch-R for a mere $4.99. If you believe in Santa, maybe you'll believe it's a good use of your money. Reward : 100 money 10 XP

Fixer Upper Fortress

Ah, the Fortress of Lonelitude. The perfect place to hide my superior brain and morbidly obese body from the world. From its dark depths, I shall launch tweet storm after tweet storm. But you have leveled up from bachelorhood, husband. Great Scott, you're right! Now it's a Fortress of Lovelitude! In which case, you need to do some redecorating. CBGuy : Make Comic Book Guy Update the Fortress Count : 1xTime : 4h, Location : FortressOfLonelitude Reward : 100 money 10 XP