The Simpsons Guy/Quotes
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- Chris: Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show! It certainly doesn't smack of desperation. The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing...
- Stewie: Okay, that's enough.
- Brian: I guess we're in a town called Springfield.
- Stewie: Springfield, eh? What state?
- Brian: I can't imagine we're allowed to say.
- Bart: Eat my shorts!
- Stewie: "Eat my shorts!" I love that! Is that a popular expression like "What the deuce"?
- Brian: Probably more popular. Probably... probably way more popular.
- Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speakin'.
- Bart: Uh, yeah, I'm lookin' for a friend, last name Kebum, first name Leigh.
- Moe: Eh, hang on, I'll check. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Leigh Kebum? C'mon, look at the stools. Uh, is there a Leigh Kebum? Somebody check the rear. I know I gotta Leigh Kebum.
- Barney: Then you probably shouldn't be handling food!
- Bob Belcher: Yeah, we did it!
- Homer: What's he doin' here?
- Peter: Oh, we gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened.
- Cleveland: No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Homer: Alright Peter, If we're gonna find your car, we're gonna think like a car so let's fill up at that gas station.
- [Both Homer and Peter gulp down gasoline from the pumps]
- Peter: I feel sick.
- Homer: Keep drinking! I prepaid 40 bucks!
- Peter: Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong.
- [They then observe a woman putting the fuel dispenser into the rear of her car]
- Peter: Oh crap.
- [The pair pull down their pants and the scene is cut directly to an adult store in Germany called Video Erötich]
- Video Erötich customer: Haben sie Homer und Peter mit Chevron pump? [Rough English translation: "Have you got Homer and Peter with a Chevron pump?"]
- [Clerk points out shelf of DVDs with Homer and Peter holding a gas pump together called Gassensexen]
- Peter: [to Lois] I'm whispering in court to look smart.
- Glenn Quagmire: Do you like sex?
- Lenny: Eh.
- Quagmire: I don't think we're that similar.
- Cleveland: You know why they paired us?
- Carl: Because we're the two funniest guys in our towns!
- Cleveland: Damn right! [fist bump]
- Quahog James Woods: You lived in Springfield?
- Springfield James Woods: Yeah, I worked at the Kwik-E-Mart, researching a role.
- Quahog James Woods: These guys are gonna lose.
- Judge Fred Flintstone: I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision. If ya ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original. They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Budrock.
- Peter: Oh, ho, ho!
- Homer: Ooh!
- Judge Fred Flintstone: But rendering a verdict is something I'm paid to Yabba-Dabba Do!
- Peter and Homer: Eh.
- Judge Fred Flintstone: And I find in favor of Duff.
- Lois: Oh, no!
- Meg: Oh, no!
- Peter: Oh, no!
- [silence until Peter's cell phone rings]
- Peter: Hello.
- Kool-Aid Man: Uh, hey. I'm... I'm in the wrong Springfield.
- [Peter breaks out of Homer's joke hold]
- Peter: What the hell? That really hurts!
- Homer: No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time!
- Peter: You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time...
- Homer: That's your son!
- Homer: Hey, knock it off! There's a kid back there!
- Ralph: Heh, heh, I'm in danger.
- Kodos: Perfect, the Earthlings are destroying themselves.
- Roger Smith: Yeah, it's really great, isn't it, guys? [to the viewer] We went to summer camp together.
- Peter: Woo Hoo!
- Homer: Road House!
- Peter: I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. I'm a Family Guy.
- Homer: I understand. I'm a The Simpsons.
- Homer: Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other.
- Peter: With a pile of garbage between us.
- [the two walk off]
- Comic Book Guy: Worst. Chicken fight. Ever.
