Difference between revisions of "'Round Springfield/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 12:00, July 10, 2020

Homer: Lisa, when you get to be our age, you learn a few things. Like when a sign says 'Do not feed the bears' [holds up his arm with a bear cub having its claws and teeth sunk into it] man, you better not feed the bears.

Bart: Mrs Krabappel, I can't take the test, I have a stomach ache.

Mrs. Krabappel: Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse - Ha!

Bart: Look, if you ignore me and I die, you'll get in a lot of trouble.

Mrs. Krabappel: Read page six of the School Charter.

Bart: No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies.

Mrs. Krabappel: We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school snake.

[Cut to Milhouse, who has been eaten by the school snake.]

Milhouse: Hey, cool, there's a rabbit in here!

Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be okay?

Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.

Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy.

Lisa: But he was the only person that had the same love for music that I do.

[Suddenly, Maggie gives Lisa a pacifier.]

Lisa: Thank you. Oh, Dad, why did he have to die?

Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over.

Lisa: Uh huh.

Homer: Remember, honey?

Lisa: Yeah.

Homer: What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman.

Lisa: [wailing] Oh, Dad! [weeps]