Difference between revisions of "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes/Quotes"
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:''[After [[Lisa]] sets up his computer, [[Homer]] takes it for a spin on the Internet and visits the [[Springfield Police Department]] home page. An image of [[Chief Wiggum]]'s face appears on the screen.]'' | :''[After [[Lisa]] sets up his computer, [[Homer]] takes it for a spin on the Internet and visits the [[Springfield Police Department]] home page. An image of [[Chief Wiggum]]'s face appears on the screen.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Wiggum}} ''[on-screen]'' "If you've committed a crime and want to confess, click 'Yes'. Otherwise, click 'No'." | |
:''[Homer clicks "No".]'' | :''[Homer clicks "No".]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Wiggum}} "You have chosen 'No', meaning that you've committed a crime, but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home." ''[An image of a paddy wagon with a flashing siren appears in the corner of the screen.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[indignantly]'' "Hey!!" | |
| − | + | {{qf|Wiggum}} "While you wait, why not buy a police cap or T-shirt. ''[Images of the items with the SPD logo appear, surrounding Wiggum's face.]'' You have the right to remain fabulous!" ''[The flashing words "NOW 80% OFF" appear on the screen.]'' | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} No one can silence me but me! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Fake Homer}} That arranged can be. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Who are you, and why are you holding me here? I want answers now, or I want them eventually! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Well, you can't post news if you don't have any. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} That's a great idea! I'll just make up some news! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Ugh, at least take off your Pulitzer Prize when you say that! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :''[''Mr. X reports that Apu's bagels are really old donuts'']'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} In the interests of public safety, we have confiscated every donut, bagel, cruller and bear claw in the city. And some coffee. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} Well, if Mr. X were here right now, I'd buy him a tall frosty. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} No. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Not even a little one? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} No! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} What if I just whisper it? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} No, I tells ya! | |
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Leader}} As far as your family knows, Homer Simpson is walking in the front door right about now. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} (''Taking his face out of ice cream with needles sticking out'') I'm sorry, what? | |
| − | : | + | :''[''Next scene at the Simpson house'']'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Homie! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Fake Homer}} (''Speaking with a German accent'') Marge, honey, Fraulein, I'm home! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} You're not my husband! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Fake Homer}} Jah, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly-priced restaurant, then have a night of efficient German sex. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Well, I sure don't feel like cooking. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} It's great to be back | |
| − | + | :''[[[Santa's Little Helper]] barks]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} The dog thinks so too! | |
| − | : | + | :''['''The Simpson Family laugh]'' |
| − | + | :''[Fake Santa's Little Helper's mouth opens and gasses [[The Simpson Family]]]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Bad dog! | |
:[[Marge]] (as an '''Island''' prisoner): You know once you get used to the druggings, this isn't a bad place | :[[Marge]] (as an '''Island''' prisoner): You know once you get used to the druggings, this isn't a bad place | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Truly god's country | |
| − | + | :''[gass fills the screen]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} See you on the island... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Yes, the island! | |
| − | + | :''[ominous music plays over the end credits]'' | |
{{Season 12|Q}} | {{Season 12|Q}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Computer Wore Menace Shoes/Quotes}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Computer Wore Menace Shoes/Quotes}} | ||
Revision as of 02:24, March 3, 2019
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- [After Lisa sets up his computer, Homer takes it for a spin on the Internet and visits the Springfield Police Department home page. An image of Chief Wiggum's face appears on the screen.]
- Wiggum: [on-screen] "If you've committed a crime and want to confess, click 'Yes'. Otherwise, click 'No'."
- [Homer clicks "No".]
- Wiggum: "You have chosen 'No', meaning that you've committed a crime, but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home." [An image of a paddy wagon with a flashing siren appears in the corner of the screen.]
- Homer: [indignantly] "Hey!!"
- Wiggum: "While you wait, why not buy a police cap or T-shirt. [Images of the items with the SPD logo appear, surrounding Wiggum's face.] You have the right to remain fabulous!" [The flashing words "NOW 80% OFF" appear on the screen.]
- Homer: No one can silence me but me!
- Fake Homer: That arranged can be.
- Homer: Who are you, and why are you holding me here? I want answers now, or I want them eventually!
- Lisa: Well, you can't post news if you don't have any.
- Homer: That's a great idea! I'll just make up some news!
- Lisa: Ugh, at least take off your Pulitzer Prize when you say that!
- [Mr. X reports that Apu's bagels are really old donuts]
- Chief Wiggum: In the interests of public safety, we have confiscated every donut, bagel, cruller and bear claw in the city. And some coffee.
- Moe: Well, if Mr. X were here right now, I'd buy him a tall frosty.
- Homer: Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret.
- Moe: No.
- Homer: Not even a little one?
- Moe: No!
- Homer: What if I just whisper it?
- Moe: No, I tells ya!
- Leader: As far as your family knows, Homer Simpson is walking in the front door right about now.
- Homer: (Taking his face out of ice cream with needles sticking out) I'm sorry, what?
- [Next scene at the Simpson house]
- Marge: Homie!
- Fake Homer: (Speaking with a German accent) Marge, honey, Fraulein, I'm home!
- Marge: You're not my husband!
- Fake Homer: Jah, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly-priced restaurant, then have a night of efficient German sex.
- Marge: Well, I sure don't feel like cooking.
- Homer: It's great to be back
- [[[Santa's Little Helper]] barks]
- Bart: The dog thinks so too!
- [The Simpson Family laugh]
- [Fake Santa's Little Helper's mouth opens and gasses The Simpson Family]
- Homer: Bad dog!
- Marge (as an Island prisoner): You know once you get used to the druggings, this isn't a bad place
- Homer: Truly god's country
- [gass fills the screen]
- Bart: See you on the island...
- Lisa: Yes, the island!
- [ominous music plays over the end credits]
