Difference between revisions of "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|I, D'oh-Bot|Margical History Tour}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|I, D'oh-Bot|Margical History Tour}} | ||
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| − | [[Homer]]: You were gonna start a novel without informing me?! | + | :'''[[Homer]]:''' You were gonna start a novel without informing me?! |
| − | [[Marge]]: Homer, you left two jobs and bought an ambulance without even a phone call! | + | :'''[[Marge]]:''' Homer, you left two jobs and bought an ambulance without even a phone call! |
| − | Homer: I also fed some ducklings. | + | :'''Homer:''' I also fed some ducklings. |
| − | Marge: I know, I got your message. | + | :'''Marge:''' I know, I got your message. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Homer:''' Marge, I figured it out! Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby! | |
| − | Homer: Marge, I figured it out! Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby! | + | :'''Marge:''' Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel. |
| − | Marge: Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel. | + | :'''Homer:''' Oh, I was so close! |
| − | Homer: Oh, I was so close! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Homer:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need some dinner STAT! And the kids need some CPR lessons. | |
| − | Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need some dinner STAT! And the kids need some CPR lessons. | + | :'''[[Lisa]]:''' We're not paramedics! |
| − | [[Lisa]]: We're not paramedics! | + | :'''Homer:''' I'll say. |
| − | Homer: I'll say. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''{{ch|Tom Clancy}}:''' Hello, this is Tom Clancy. Would I say, "If you're hunting for a good read this October, Marge Simpson's book is a clear and present danger to your free time"? Hell no I wouldn't. What do you mean I just said it? That doesn't count! Hello. Hello? | |
| − | {{ch|Tom Clancy}}: Hello, this is Tom Clancy. Would I say, "If you're hunting for a good read this October, Marge Simpson's book is a clear and present danger to your free time"? Hell no I wouldn't. What do you mean I just said it? That doesn't count! Hello. Hello? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Marge:''' ''[to herself]'' I'm finished, and it's so suggestive. Well like they say "snuggling sells." | |
| − | Marge | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Marge:''' Homie, I finished my novel... | |
| − | Marge: Homie, I finished my | + | :'''Homer:''' Wooh, typed. |
| − | Homer: Wooh, typed. | + | :'''Marge:''' It's really important that you read it and tell me what you think. |
| − | Marge: It's really important that you read it and tell me what you think. | + | :'''Homer:''' No problem. Aww 286 pages! |
| − | Homer: No problem. Aww 286 pages! | + | :'''Marge:''' It's double spaced. |
| − | Marge: It's double spaced. | + | :'''Homer:''' Woo hoo! I'm half-way through! |
| − | Homer: Woo hoo! I'm half-way through! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Homer:''' How can you write such horrible things about me? | |
| − | Homer: How can you write such horrible things about me? | + | :'''Marge:''' You told me you liked it! You didn't read it at all! You lied to me! |
| − | Marge: You told me you liked it! You didn't read it at all! You lied to me! | + | :'''Homer:''' I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth. |
| − | Homer: I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''[[Ned Flanders]]:''' Did you agree to be married to a drunken lout who wouldn't respect you? | |
| − | [[Flanders]]: Did you agree to be married to a drunken lout who wouldn't respect you? | + | :'''Marge:''' Pretty much. We wrote our own vows. |
| − | Marge: Pretty much. We wrote our own vows. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Marge:''' Well? | |
| − | Marge: Well? | + | :'''Homer:''' Well what? |
| − | Homer: Well what? | + | :'''Marge:''' Did you read it? |
| − | Marge: Did you read it? | + | :'''Homer:''' ''[eye bounces left to right twice]'' Um... yes. |
| − | Homer: [eye bounces left to right twice] | + | :'''Marge:''' Did you like it? |
| − | Marge: Did you like it? | + | :'''Homer:''' ''[eye bounces left to right twice]'' Um... yes. |
| − | Homer: [eye bounces left to right twice] | + | :'''Marge:''' Do you think I should publish it? |
| − | Marge: Do you think I should publish it? | + | :'''Homer:''' You know what I say, publish or parish! |
| − | Homer: You know what I say, publish or parish! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Marge:''' Did you like it? | |
| − | Marge: Did you like it? | + | :'''[[Lisa]]:''' ''[puts down last page]'' Don't you think you're a little hard on Dad? |
| − | Lisa: | + | :'''Marge:''' What do you mean? |
| − | Marge: What do you mean? | + | :'''Lisa:''' ''[reading page]'' He went to the shop with the sign: Salted Blowholes. "[[Mmm...]] Blowholes," he drooled.' Doesn't that sound a little like Dad? |
| − | Lisa: | + | :'''Marge:''' Yes, I guess it does resemble your father. |
| − | Marge: Yes, I guess it does resemble your father. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :''[The windsock at [[Boris's Car Lot]] is ripped from its platform; it flies away.]'' | |
| − | ''[The windsock at [[Boris's Car Lot]] is ripped from its platform; it flies away.]'' | + | :'''Homer:''' Awww. That was my only friend here. |
| − | Homer: Awww. That was my only friend here. | + | :''[Homer gets up on the platform and "performs" in the windsock's place.]'' |
| − | ''[Homer gets up on the platform and "performs" in the windsock's place.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :''[Homer's driving the ambulance with [[Comic Book Guy]] - who's clutching his heart - in the back.]'' | |
| − | ''[Homer's driving the ambulance with [[Comic Book Guy]] - who's clutching his heart - in the back.]'' | + | :'''Homer:''' So, where to, my friend? |
| − | Homer: So, where to, my friend? | + | :'''[[Comic Book Guy]]:''' I already told you: the hospital! You're an ambulance, not a cab! |
| − | Comic Book Guy: I already told you: the hospital! You're an ambulance, not a cab! | + | :'''Homer:''' The hospital, huh? Seems like everyone's going there tonight. |
| − | Homer: The hospital, huh? Seems like everyone's going there tonight. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :''[Homer's driving the ambulance with an unconscious man in the back.]'' | |
| − | ''[Homer's driving the ambulance with an unconscious man in the back.]'' | + | :'''Homer:''' ''[to the unconscious man]'' So, you got any kids? ''[beat]'' Quiet kind, huh? |
| − | Homer: [to the unconscious man] So, you got any kids? [beat] Quiet kind, huh? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Lisa:''' Bart, this is horrible! What if Dad reads it? | |
| − | Lisa: Bart, this is horrible! What if Dad reads it | + | :'''Bart:''' It's too long; he won't read it. |
| − | Bart: It's too long; he won't read it. | + | :'''Lisa:''' Well, what if they make it into a movie? |
| − | Lisa: Well, what if they make it into a movie? | + | :'''Bart:''' It's too sappy; he won't see it. |
| − | Bart: It's too sappy; he won't see it. | + | :'''Lisa:''' Well, what if they do a parody about it on {{w|MADtv}}? |
| − | Lisa: Well, what if they do a parody about it on {{w|MADtv}}? | + | :'''Bart:''' ''[gasps]'' We're doomed! |
| − | Bart: [gasps] We're doomed! | ||
| − | |||
{{Season 15 Q}} | {{Season 15 Q}} | ||
| − | |||
Revision as of 05:03, February 24, 2012
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- Homer: You were gonna start a novel without informing me?!
- Marge: Homer, you left two jobs and bought an ambulance without even a phone call!
- Homer: I also fed some ducklings.
- Marge: I know, I got your message.
- Homer: Marge, I figured it out! Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby!
- Marge: Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel.
- Homer: Oh, I was so close!
- Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need some dinner STAT! And the kids need some CPR lessons.
- Lisa: We're not paramedics!
- Homer: I'll say.
- Tom Clancy: Hello, this is Tom Clancy. Would I say, "If you're hunting for a good read this October, Marge Simpson's book is a clear and present danger to your free time"? Hell no I wouldn't. What do you mean I just said it? That doesn't count! Hello. Hello?
- Marge: [to herself] I'm finished, and it's so suggestive. Well like they say "snuggling sells."
- Marge: Homie, I finished my novel...
- Homer: Wooh, typed.
- Marge: It's really important that you read it and tell me what you think.
- Homer: No problem. Aww 286 pages!
- Marge: It's double spaced.
- Homer: Woo hoo! I'm half-way through!
- Homer: How can you write such horrible things about me?
- Marge: You told me you liked it! You didn't read it at all! You lied to me!
- Homer: I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
- Ned Flanders: Did you agree to be married to a drunken lout who wouldn't respect you?
- Marge: Pretty much. We wrote our own vows.
- Marge: Well?
- Homer: Well what?
- Marge: Did you read it?
- Homer: [eye bounces left to right twice] Um... yes.
- Marge: Did you like it?
- Homer: [eye bounces left to right twice] Um... yes.
- Marge: Do you think I should publish it?
- Homer: You know what I say, publish or parish!
- Marge: Did you like it?
- Lisa: [puts down last page] Don't you think you're a little hard on Dad?
- Marge: What do you mean?
- Lisa: [reading page] He went to the shop with the sign: Salted Blowholes. "Mmm... Blowholes," he drooled.' Doesn't that sound a little like Dad?
- Marge: Yes, I guess it does resemble your father.
- [The windsock at Boris's Car Lot is ripped from its platform; it flies away.]
- Homer: Awww. That was my only friend here.
- [Homer gets up on the platform and "performs" in the windsock's place.]
- [Homer's driving the ambulance with Comic Book Guy - who's clutching his heart - in the back.]
- Homer: So, where to, my friend?
- Comic Book Guy: I already told you: the hospital! You're an ambulance, not a cab!
- Homer: The hospital, huh? Seems like everyone's going there tonight.
- [Homer's driving the ambulance with an unconscious man in the back.]
- Homer: [to the unconscious man] So, you got any kids? [beat] Quiet kind, huh?
- Lisa: Bart, this is horrible! What if Dad reads it?
- Bart: It's too long; he won't read it.
- Lisa: Well, what if they make it into a movie?
- Bart: It's too sappy; he won't see it.
- Lisa: Well, what if they do a parody about it on MADtv?
- Bart: [gasps] We're doomed!
