Difference between revisions of "Homer and Her Sisters/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 16:05, December 16, 2024

Homer: [scoffs] If you ask me, any room with Patty and Selma in it is an escape room.

Marge: I know you don't like Patty, Selma, puzzles or parties, but try to enjoy Patty and Selma's puzzle party.

Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] You've used one hint.

Selma Bouvier: You ruined our perfect hint-free streak, you Crisco-chugging pistachio brain!

Homer: Yeah, well you're a, uh, uh... Hint?

Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] I don't know, something about her hair, maybe?

Krusty the Clown: Aunt Sadie! My favorite aunt who still talks to me.

Krusty: Why the hell didn't you tell me about this show, about my show?

Sideshow Mel: We've begged you many times to come on.

Krusty: Shut up, you backstabbing traitor!

Patty Bouvier: We've never failed an escape room, and we're not starting now. Forgive me, Selma. Hint!

Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] The bald man who hates you found the exit key 20 minutes ago and has been using it to scratch his butt out of spite.

Squeaky-voiced teen: [over intercom] Your mission has failed. The frozen sea has claimed your bodies. And your grieving children will be sent to the gulag. Happy birthday!

Sadie Krustofsky: Herschella Krustofsky, you self-absorbed degenerate freak! You're a lonely, sad narcissist who has no connection to his fellow man. You're an empty Hollywood elitist clown who's gonna die alone on a toilet kissing your own headshot.

Lisa: Dad, I thought you hated family game night.

Homer: No, I hated extended family game night. With your evil, terrible aunts.

Lisa: Can you please make up with them? We really need six people to play The Three Duos of Half-Dozen Mountain.

Homer: Honey, if I could wave a magic wand and make Patty and Selma not suck, I would.

Patty: Where's Marge? Is she okay?

Selma: She texted us she fell off the roof cleaning the gutters.

Marge: I lied about that to get you all here together. I did clean the gutters, though. And I did fall off the roof.

Sadie: So, Marge, who was right? What is your favorite cake flavor?

Marge: It's neither. I like vanilla. Only vanilla. The less flavor, the better.

Marge: How can I be the problem? I'm the Marge of this.

Krusty: This is what showbiz is all about, huh, Wayne the Grip? The camaraderie.

Wayne the Grip: [yelps] Why do you know my name? Please don't fire me. I need to support my stepson's illegal street racing habit.

Homer: Patty and Selma, welcome to Moe's.

Patty: Weird how the sunlight stops at the doorway. Like it's afraid to come in.

Homer: Yeah, a scientist tried to explain it one time and went crazy.

Moe Szyslak: Midge has two hotter sisters?

Homer: Patty and Selma.

Moe: Pidge and Sidge?

Krusty: You got a little water prison for the kids. Nice.

Wayne the Grip: Oh, it's a pool.

Krusty: No, pools go in the ground.

Marge: You fixed nothing! You plaster over real problems with an easy catchphrase. These three have hated each other since the moment they met. And all you did was give them a reason to not feel guilty about it.

Sadie: Don't talk to me about guilt. I invented guilt!

Marge: No! It's my turn to yell! And point and point and point! You can't solve relationships in 30 minutes. It requires years of constant hard work and deep self-reflection from all parties.