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Difference between revisions of "Funeral for a Fiend/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< Funeral for a Fiend
Line 1: Line 1:
 
{{TabQ}}
 
{{TabQ}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Husbands and Knives|Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Husbands and Knives|Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind}}
−
{{Cleanup}}
 
  
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': "Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on! ''[turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally]'' This time I've made no mistakes."
+
{{qf|[[Sideshow Bob]]}} Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on! ''[turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally]'' This time I've made no mistakes.
−
:'''Lisa''': "Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly.""
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." ''[leaves and shuts the door]''"
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." ''[leaves and shuts the door]''
−
:'''Lisa''': "Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up.
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': ''[re-enters]'' I shall! ''[takes the laptop]'' Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth!
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} ''[re-enters]'' I shall! ''[takes the laptop]'' Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth!
−
:''(laptop explodes, Bob falls to the ground)''
+
:''[Laptop explodes, Bob falls to the ground]''
−
:'''Sideshow Bob:''' ''"Hoist on his own petard."''
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} "Hoist on his own petard."
−
:'''Lisa''': "It's "hoist with his own petard.""
+
{{qf|Lisa}} It's "hoist with his own petard."
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': "Oh, get a life."
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} Oh, get a life.
 
----
 
----
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': "Before you die, perhaps you'd like to know how I engineered my ultimate revenge."
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} Before you die, perhaps you'd like to know how I engineered my ultimate revenge.
−
:'''Homer''':" I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!"
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': "I'm Wes Doobner!"
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} I'm Wes Doobner!
−
:'''Homer''': "Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint: I work hard and when I go out with my family I expect a certain level of basic--"
+
{{qf|Homer}} Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint: I work hard and when I go out with my family I expect a certain level of basic--
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': "Shut up!"
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} Shut up!
 
----
 
----
−
:'''Kent Brockman''': "America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths: Billie the Kid. Bonnie and Clyde. Jesus Christ."
+
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths: Billie the Kid. Bonnie and Clyde. Jesus Christ.
 
----
 
----
−
:''(Krusty plays the piano and sings in mourning at Sideshow Bob's funeral.)''
+
:''[Krusty plays the piano and sings in mourning at Sideshow Bob's funeral.]''
−
:'''Krusty''': ''[singing]'' ''"Farewell, Sideshow Bob''
+
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} ''[singing]'' ''Farewell, Sideshow Bob''
 
:''Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.''
 
:''Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.''
 
:''Bart stole your nitroglycerin''
 
:''Bart stole your nitroglycerin''
Line 36: Line 35:
 
:''And deleted scenes.''
 
:''And deleted scenes.''
 
:''Like when you fell and split your pants''
 
:''Like when you fell and split your pants''
−
:''And we saw your "Frank and Beans."''
+
:''And we saw your Frank and Beans.''
 
----
 
----
 
:''[At Cirucit Circus]''
 
:''[At Cirucit Circus]''
−
:'''Homer''': ''[to Bart]'' "Now ignore all the fancy shmancy thingamajigs, boy. We're just gonna get a camera battery and go home."
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Bart]'' Now ignore all the fancy shmancy thingamajigs, boy. We're just gonna get a camera battery and go home.
−
:'''Salesman #1''': "Interested in a car stereo?"
+
{{qf|Salesman #1}} Interested in a car stereo?
−
:'''Homer''': "No, thanks. Just here for a battery."
+
{{qf|Homer}} No, thanks. Just here for a battery.
−
:'''Salesman #2''': "Big special on camcorders!"
+
{{qf|Salesman #2}} Big special on camcorders!
−
:'''Homer''': "All I want is a battery."
+
{{qf|Homer}} All I want is a battery.
−
:'''Saleswoman''': "Care to make love, sir?"
+
{{qf|Saleswoman}} Care to make love, sir?
−
:'''Homer''': "Battery, battery, battery!"
+
{{qf|Homer}} Battery, battery, battery!
 
----
 
----
 
:''[At Sideshow Bob's trial]''
 
:''[At Sideshow Bob's trial]''
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did.
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did.
 
:''[The entire courtroom gasps in shock]''
 
:''[The entire courtroom gasps in shock]''
−
:'''Prosecutor''': ''[to Homer and Marge]'' Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free.
+
{{qf|Prosecutor}} ''[to Homer and Marge]'' Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free.
−
:'''Sideshow Bob''': But--
+
{{qf|Sideshow Bob}} But--
−
:'''Prosecutor''': Damn!
+
{{qf|Prosecutor}} Damn!
 
----
 
----
 
:''[The family watches a commercial for a new restaurant]''
 
:''[The family watches a commercial for a new restaurant]''
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "Howdy, folks! Are tired of family arguments over where to go for dinner?"
+
{{qf|[[Wes Doobner]]}} Howdy, folks! Are tired of family arguments over where to go for dinner?
−
:'''Homer''': "Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back."
+
{{qf|Homer}} Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back.
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "Why not try Wes Doobner's World Famous Family Style Rib Huts? The rib joint with somethin' for everyone!"
+
{{qf|Wes Doobner}} Why not try Wes Doobner's World Famous Family Style Rib Huts? The rib joint with somethin' for everyone!
−
:'''Homer''': "Good luck with my finicky appetite!"
+
{{qf|Homer}} Good luck with my finicky appetite!
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "We've got ribs--"
+
{{qf|Wes Doobner}} We've got ribs--
−
:'''Homer''': "Sold!"
+
{{qf|Homer}} Sold!
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "Plain noodles."
+
{{qf|Wes Doobner}} Plain noodles.
 
:''[Marge sighs]''
 
:''[Marge sighs]''
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "With butter."
+
{{qf|Wes Doobner}} With butter.
−
:'''Marge''': "Yowza!"
+
{{qf|Marge}} Yowza!
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "Texas tofu!"
+
{{qf|Wes Doobner}} Texas tofu!
−
:'''Lisa''': "Yummy, yumma!"
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Yummy, yumma!
−
:'''Wes Doobner''': "And the easiest place mat puzzle in the state."
+
{{qf|Wes Doobner}} And the easiest place mat puzzle in the state.
−
:'''Bart''': "Let me at it!"
+
{{qf|Bart}} Let me at it!
 
----
 
----
 
:''[Lisa explains how she figured out Sideshow Bob's scheme on the way to save Bart at the funeral home]''
 
:''[Lisa explains how she figured out Sideshow Bob's scheme on the way to save Bart at the funeral home]''
−
:'''Lisa''': "Bob planned this from the beginning."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Bob planned this from the beginning.
−
:'''Homer''': "Uh-huh."
+
{{qf|Homer}} Uh-huh.
−
:'''Lisa''': "He wanted to be captured at the restaurant."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} He wanted to be captured at the restaurant.
−
:'''Homer''': "Yes."
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yes.
−
:'''Lisa''': "He would never get a Shakespeare quote wrong."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} He would never get a Shakespeare quote wrong.
−
:'''Homer''':"No."
+
{{qf|Homer}}No.
−
:'''Lisa''': "His mother was a Shakespearian actress."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} His mother was a Shakespearian actress.
−
:'''Homer''': "Oh, yeeh!"
+
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, yeeh!
−
:'''Lisa''': "His father was a doctor."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} His father was a doctor.
−
:'''Homer''': "A doctor, huh?"
+
{{qf|Homer}} A doctor, huh?
−
:'''Lisa''': "So when Bob collaspsed in the courtroom..."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} So when Bob collaspsed in the courtroom...
−
:'''Homer''': "I remember."
+
{{qf|Homer}} I remember.
−
:'''Lisa''': "...his father could take that opportunity to inject Bob with a powerful drug that simulated death."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} ...his father could take that opportunity to inject Bob with a powerful drug that simulated death.
−
:'''Homer''': "Uh-huh."
+
{{qf|Homer}} Uh-huh.
−
:'''Lisa''': "It was a diabolical scheme and every member of his family played a part!"
+
{{qf|Lisa}} It was a diabolical scheme and every member of his family played a part!
−
:'''Homer''': "Are you done? 'Cause I've been circling the funeral home for 10 minutes."
+
{{qf|Homer}} Are you done? 'Cause I've been circling the funeral home for 10 minutes.
−
:'''Lisa''': ''[Begrudgingly]'' "Yes."
+
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[Begrudgingly]'' Yes.
 
----
 
----
−
''[The Simpsons enter the church to say farewell to Sideshow Bob]''
+
:''[The Simpsons enter the church to say farewell to Sideshow Bob]''
−
:'''Homer:''' "I dont know about you, but I still can't stand him. ''[echoes]'' ''I still can't stand him, I still can't stand him.''"
+
{{qf|Homer}} I dont know about you, but I still can't stand him. ''[echoes]'' ''I still can't stand him, I still can't stand him.''
 
:''[Everyone gasps]''
 
:''[Everyone gasps]''
−
:'''Homer:''' "I don't care about these church jerks" ''[echoes]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} I don't care about these church jerks ''[echoes]''
−
:'''Marge:''' "Homer, you're behaviour is hanus. ''[echoes]'' ''Anus, anus, anus.''"
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, you're behaviour is hanus. ''[echoes]'' ''Anus, anus, anus.''
  
 
{{Season 19|Q}}
 
{{Season 19|Q}}

Revision as of 07:55, September 23, 2020


Season 19 Episode Quotes
← 407 "Husbands and Knives"
408
"Funeral for a Fiend"
"Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind" 409 →


Sideshow Bob: Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on! [turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally] This time I've made no mistakes.
Lisa: Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."
Sideshow Bob: Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." [leaves and shuts the door]
Lisa: Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up.
Sideshow Bob: [re-enters] I shall! [takes the laptop] Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth!
[Laptop explodes, Bob falls to the ground]
Sideshow Bob: "Hoist on his own petard."
Lisa: It's "hoist with his own petard."
Sideshow Bob: Oh, get a life.
Sideshow Bob: Before you die, perhaps you'd like to know how I engineered my ultimate revenge.
Homer: I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!
Sideshow Bob: I'm Wes Doobner!
Homer: Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint: I work hard and when I go out with my family I expect a certain level of basic--
Sideshow Bob: Shut up!
Kent Brockman: America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths: Billie the Kid. Bonnie and Clyde. Jesus Christ.
[Krusty plays the piano and sings in mourning at Sideshow Bob's funeral.]
Krusty: [singing] Farewell, Sideshow Bob
Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.
Bart stole your nitroglycerin
And then your heart, it barked.
And it seems to me your loyal fans
Oughta buy this DVD
[Holds up a Best of Sideshow Bob DVD]
Of all your best-loved sketches
On The Krusty Show.
It's full of extra features
And deleted scenes.
Like when you fell and split your pants
And we saw your Frank and Beans.
[At Cirucit Circus]
Homer: [to Bart] Now ignore all the fancy shmancy thingamajigs, boy. We're just gonna get a camera battery and go home.
Salesman #1: Interested in a car stereo?
Homer: No, thanks. Just here for a battery.
Salesman #2: Big special on camcorders!
Homer: All I want is a battery.
Saleswoman: Care to make love, sir?
Homer: Battery, battery, battery!
[At Sideshow Bob's trial]
Sideshow Bob: Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did.
[The entire courtroom gasps in shock]
Prosecutor: [to Homer and Marge] Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free.
Sideshow Bob: But--
Prosecutor: Damn!
[The family watches a commercial for a new restaurant]
Wes Doobner: Howdy, folks! Are tired of family arguments over where to go for dinner?
Homer: Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back.
Wes Doobner: Why not try Wes Doobner's World Famous Family Style Rib Huts? The rib joint with somethin' for everyone!
Homer: Good luck with my finicky appetite!
Wes Doobner: We've got ribs--
Homer: Sold!
Wes Doobner: Plain noodles.
[Marge sighs]
Wes Doobner: With butter.
Marge: Yowza!
Wes Doobner: Texas tofu!
Lisa: Yummy, yumma!
Wes Doobner: And the easiest place mat puzzle in the state.
Bart: Let me at it!
[Lisa explains how she figured out Sideshow Bob's scheme on the way to save Bart at the funeral home]
Lisa: Bob planned this from the beginning.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: He wanted to be captured at the restaurant.
Homer: Yes.
Lisa: He would never get a Shakespeare quote wrong.
Homer:No.
Lisa: His mother was a Shakespearian actress.
Homer: Oh, yeeh!
Lisa: His father was a doctor.
Homer: A doctor, huh?
Lisa: So when Bob collaspsed in the courtroom...
Homer: I remember.
Lisa: ...his father could take that opportunity to inject Bob with a powerful drug that simulated death.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It was a diabolical scheme and every member of his family played a part!
Homer: Are you done? 'Cause I've been circling the funeral home for 10 minutes.
Lisa: [Begrudgingly] Yes.
[The Simpsons enter the church to say farewell to Sideshow Bob]
Homer: I dont know about you, but I still can't stand him. [echoes] I still can't stand him, I still can't stand him.
[Everyone gasps]
Homer: I don't care about these church jerks [echoes]
Marge: Homer, you're behaviour is hanus. [echoes] Anus, anus, anus.
Season 19 Quotes
He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs • The Homer of Seville • Midnight Towboy • I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings • Treehouse of Horror XVIII • Little Orphan Millie • Husbands and Knives • Funeral for a Fiend • Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind • E Pluribus Wiggum • That '90s Show • Love, Springfieldian Style • The Debarted • Dial "N" for Nerder • Smoke on the Daughter • Papa Don't Leech • Apocalypse Cow • Any Given Sundance • Mona Leaves-a • All About Lisa
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