Difference between revisions of "Ice-Cold Hands, Lukewarm Heart"

Latest revision as of 11:28, June 12, 2024

Ice-Cold Hands, Lukewarm Heart is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Winter 2014 content update. It requires King Winter to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Typical. A new guy moves into town and builds his cave right on the limits of the property line. It's the cave of King Winter, the evil troll who every Christmas feasts on his own children! Well, my first thought is disapproval, but I am open to learning alternate methods of parenting. Can't you feel the evil emanating from that man's cave? Man cave, eh? Wonder if he gets the Football Channel. Task: "Make Homer Explore King Winter's Cave". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 24 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark Who dares enter the dark realm of the Winter King?! A fat American and his defenseless daughter! You don't belong in Springfield, King Winter. Yeah, this is a family town where overweight kids are allowed outside alone all times of the day and night. Look, I have a bad reputation from that TV documentary about me, but I'm trying to put it all behind me. I mean, do you know what it's like to feel the blood of your own children in your own beard? No, but I've imagined it many times. Here, I've got a brand new gaming console. Play some games while I make cocoa, and I'll explain everything. Task: "Make King Winter Make Cocoa". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Play Video Games in King Winter's Cave". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Play Video Games in King Winter's Cave". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark It's been so many years since that regrettable incident with the children. All that time I've been alone and lonely. So I'm looking for a wife. What kind of a wife? Well, she should want a lot of children but she shouldn't get very attached to them. What you want is a public school teacher. I'll set you up with Miss Hoover. Wonderful! I will reward you with anything within my power as Winter King. Icy slush in someone's shoes. A dead car battery. A snot icicle. Your target's name is Flanders. Have no mercy. Task: "Make King Winter Annoy Flanders". The job takes place at Flanders House and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark Homer, I have a date with Miss Hoover tonight, but I'm nervous. I've been out of the dating game so long. I don't know what modern women like. Did you get Miss Hoover some flowers? Yes, a bouquet of gray asphodel blasted by chilling frost. Uh huh. Where are you going to take her? Bowling. Sounds good. Bowling boulders at helpless villagers before I steal their children. That's bad, isn't it? Bro, you gotta give me some tips. Dad, how could you help an evil troll like King Winter improve his dating life? I don't feel good about it, but he invoked the bonds of bro-hood. Besides, having a wife who'd clean up his awesome man cave is the worst punishment of all. Task: "Reach Level 16 and Build the Guilded Truffle". Task: "Make King Winter Go on a Date". The job takes place at the Gilded Truffle and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark So King Winter, how'd the date with Miss Hoover go? Although I disapprove, if there's going to be a wedding I call dibs on flower girl. Oh, there'll be no wedding. Although she was totally delicious. Those bones you're gnawing on... you mean you... Oh relax, they're from the barbecue joint. I can't marry your teacher. She hates kids so much even I think it's creepy. Task: "Make King Winter Gnaw on Some Baby Back Ribs". The job takes 24 hours. Quest reward: 200 and 20

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 1:

MUAHAHAHA! From the poorly edited scenes of a long forgotten straight to video movie, I rise back to life! I don't mean to sound racist or anything... but who are you? And why are you blue? Hang on a minute, I'm not here to munch on your offspring. I just need a safe place to chill out a while! ...pardon the pun. Will you listen to my tale before this escalates any further? Pretty please with with non-human-derived sugar on top? Sugar, you say? You've got my attention...

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 2:

I'm glad you're just a horribly disfigured homeless guy with a portable cave. That's way less weird than being a cannibal. I know, right? Say, since we're all chummy now, would you care to join me for a beer at Moe's? I'd be honored Homer! Hmm... beer at Moe's or the cold empty cave of a homeless blue guy... Wow, that's one neat looking place you've got here! Thanks Homer. It's simple, but it's home. Say, is that a giant fire pit filled with tiny human bones? Yup, all original stone work too! Wow! And what's all that rope for? ... Oh. Now, remember your promise Homer. Either you bring me a child to eat or the unpublished novel on the USB key I found in your pocket gets it. Come on! I can't go around kidnapping kids just so you can eat them! That's wrong! And immoral! Alright! I'll do it in the name of art! The world must not be robbed of the ultimate James Bont sequel.

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 3:

Oh Lisa, I'm faced with a terrible choice. Either I find King Winter a child to eat, or my unpublished novel remains unpublished. How is this actually a choice? Every one of its twenty pages is more precious to me than Bart! Perhaps we can mend King Winter's cannibalistic ways. You invite King Winter over for a meal and I'll prepare a dinner party the likes of which he'll never forget... Task: "Make Homer Invite King Winter for Dinner".

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 4:

Did King Winter agree to come to our dinner party? Yes. He seemed excited. No, it's Uter. Anyway, everything is ready. If all goes well, we'll wine and dine him, and when he's decided he loves every bite, we'll reveal it's all a vegetarian ruse! If this doesn't work we'll die right after a highly unsatisfactory meal! Even death row serves meat. Don't be so dramatic dad. If he doesn't like the dinner I've still got a chocolate cake full of sleeping pills. Wait a minute... where did my cake go? Dad?! Zzz.... Zzz.... What is this? Are you sure this is the flesh of a fat german child? Uhh... Yup. Definitely. Butchered him myself. With tools ... and such. Why the heck is it orange? Uh... He had a thing for tanning salons. Something's not right here. The texture's all wrong. Haha, yeah, you know those crazy Germans. You'd be the same if you ate nothing but sauerkraut and pumpernickel. ell, that was officially the most disgusting meal I've ever had. I'm so dissatisfied, I'm not even going to go through my plan to have you both for dessert. I'm glad to hear it... I think. Sob This dinner didn't go according to plan at ALL! You were supposed to love all this vegetarian food and turn into a vegan! GASP You tricked me! Yes we did. We tricked you with vegetables, like we trick EVERYONE who comes to dinner since Lisa became a meat hater.