  
A Cheap Kar Named Desire
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| A Cheap Kar Named Desire
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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A Cheap Kar Named Desire is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Hell on Wheels content update. It requires Kliff to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark
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Here is the final paperwork, Mr. Van Houten. Financing agreement, transfer of ownership, and, of course, dealership fraud liability waivers.
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Are you sure a new car will really make me look more impressive?
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No doubt! People are sure to look at you and say, "Now there's a man who's not afraid to accept the first offer on a car loan"!
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Someone from our finance department will walk you through everywhere you need to sign.
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I don't have a pen.
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No problem. What kind of a pen were you in the market for? We sell all kinds.
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Task: "Make Kliff Advertise Krooked Deals". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
If Kirk is owned: Task: "Make Kirk Sign Financing Papers". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
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Another dope, another dollar. Kliffy, my boy, you are a sales genius!
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Hello, Kliff.
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Fat Tony!
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I thought we weren't supposed to meet in...you know, daylight.
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I have an urgent need for an automobile.
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Oh. Can I interest you in a 2018 sedan with barely 200,000 miles on it?
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No.
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No, you cannot.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark
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The automobile for which I have an urgent need is one that I previously asked you to offload.
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I've already sold every car you ever brought me. Just like we agreed.
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And I am telling you I need one of those cars back, Kliff.
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A certain individual from our organization left something, shall we say, "perishable" locked in the trunk of the car in question.
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I'm really sorry about that, boss.
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I was in a rush to get home so I wouldn't miss the Succession finale.
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Task: "Make Kliff Search Sales Records". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
If Legs is owned: Task: "Make Legs Loom Menacingly". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
If Louie is owned: Task: "Make Louie Loom Menacingly". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
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I'm afraid I sold the car you're looking for.
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It's good that you're afraid. Because that fear will inspire you to retrieve it faster.
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I sold it very recently, so I'm sure I can get it back for you, Tony.
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I hope so, Kliff. You wouldn't want Legs to earn his nickname breaking yours.
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And you really don't want Louie to earn his nickname.
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W-what's Louie's nickname?
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Nuts.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark
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Thank you for meeting with me, Mister Van Houten. As I said on the phone, I am prepared to make a generous offer to buy back your car.
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Well, if you want the car back, you're going to have to do more than offer me money.
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I want you to make my wife happy.
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You can't possibly mean that the way it came out.
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I need to impress Luann. So, I want you to hire me and make me your Employee of the Month.
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Whew! That's a relief. Candidly, I can't even make my wife "happy".
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That's good to know. Now I'm going to have to come up with a new Plan B.
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Task: "Make Kliff Award Employee of the Month". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
If Kirk is owned: Task: "Make Kirk Accept Employee of the Month". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
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Here you are, Kirk. Employee of the Month!
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See, Luann? This is a pretty big deal. Awards like this don't get given out all the time.
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Right, Kirk. Only every single month. Is that everything? Can we go now?
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Um, just one minute, honey. I need to talk to Kliff for a second.
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It didn't work, Kliff. I can't believe overt deception didn't work.
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Neither can I. But then, I'm a used car salesman.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark
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So, here's the new plan: I'll be walking along, minding my own business, and you run into me.
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You want me to run into you...with a car?
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Uh-huh.
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*sigh* I suppose I've done worse things to make a sale.
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But you'll give me your car back whether this works or not.
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Oh, it'll work. Once Luann sees how pathetic I am, she'll remember why she married me.
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Task: "Make Kliff Perform a Hit-And-Run". The job takes place at the Give Apes the Vote Billboard, Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard, Try and Stop Us Billboard, Gorgeous Grampa Billboard, Radioactive Man Billboard, Mr. Sparkle Billboard, Itchy & Scratchy Billboard, Pride Billboard, a Shop, or Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Kirk is owned: Task: "Make Kirk Fake Getting Hit by a Car". The job takes place at the Give Apes the Vote Billboard, Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard, Try and Stop Us Billboard, Gorgeous Grampa Billboard, Radioactive Man Billboard, Mr. Sparkle Billboard, Itchy & Scratchy Billboard, Pride Billboard, a Shop, or Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Oh, my leg! I can't believe you hit me with your car!
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Good, you're alive. Now if you'll kindly sign over the car, you'll be the only one with a broken leg.
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Sure. But Kliff, could you keep my Employee of the Month award on your wall?
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You don't even work for me, Kirk.
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Wow. You are so pathetic... *starry eyed* ...my darling Kirk.
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*satisfied wink*
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Kliff's exclamation mark
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Here's the car, Fat Tony, just like I promised.
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You have honored our agreement, Kliff, and you can therefore continue living with all of your leg bones intact.
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*opens trunk* Ah, there it is. Six loaves of my mother's homemade bread. A few days old, but still a satisfying reminder of home.
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And I thought your "perishable" was going to be a dead body.
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Is that what you thought? I find that an offensive stereotype. You can expect a visit from my new associate, Kneecaps.
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*nervous gulp* Hey, Tony, why not just keep the car as a form of an apology.
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Thank you, Kliff. I like this car. It has lots of trunk space to conceal dead bodies.
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Task: "Make Kliff Swindle Another Customer". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
If Grampa is owned: Task: "Make Grampa Shop for a Kar". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
If Hans Moleman is owned: Task: "Make Moleman Shop for a Kar". The job takes place at Kliff's Kar Chalet and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest name is a reference to A Streetcar Named Desire.
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