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The Itchy-Est Place on Earth

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The Itchy-Est Place on Earth
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: Itchy & Scratchy Land
Requirement(s): Krustyland nuked
Required characters: Normal Springfielders, Bart, Homer, Itchy, Quimby, Diane
Optional characters: See Pt. 3
Next quest(s): Itching All Over

The Itchy-Est Place on Earth is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Itchy & Scratchy Land content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After having Krustyland nuked
Quimby Mr. Meyers, this town desperately needs an amusement park.
Roger Myers Jr. You literally JUST blew up your last one with a hydrogen bomb.
Quimby I have no memory of that. Anyway, we think Itchy and Scratchy would make a wonderful theme.
Quimby - Smug We'll give you prime real estate, and free labor from my easily-exploited constituents.
Roger Myers Jr. There's no way the voters would be dumb enough to approve this plan.
Quimby - Mocking *laughs for twenty minutes*
Task: "Make Springfielders Petition for a Theme Park" (x5). The jobs take place at the Town Hall or Simpson House and take 6 seconds.
After sending Homer on the job
Homer - Happy I'm being exploited!
After sending Bart on the job
Bart - Happy Working for free!
After sending Apu on the job
Apu - Happy On some level, I know this is a bad idea!
After finishing the task
Roger Myers Jr. What a bunch of idiots.
Quimby - Proud They sure are. God, I love them.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1
Quimby - Stern If we don't build ourselves a new theme park, then the nuclear bombs win!<
Homer - WooHoo Woo! Pride!
Quimby - Happy With this project, we will create hundreds of *cough* *cough* unpaid *cough* backbreaking jobs!
Homer - WooHoo Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!
Task: "Place Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate".
Task: "Build Bart's Treehouse".
Quimby - Happy I now pronounce Itchy & Scratchy Land…open!
Homer - Happy Blow it up!
Quimby - Angry No, you idiot! Not for a few years!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Bart - Annoyed Hey, dummy, you opened a park with no rides.
Quimby - Happy That's why admission is so cheap, only forty-five dollars!
Bart At that price, I can afford to take the wife and kids! It's a great time to be a ten-year-old father of two.
Quimby - Smug Here comes our first ride now. Look alive, Sky Finger!
Task: "Place Injury 500".
Task: "Move Injury 500 Long Track to Fill Track Gap".
Task: "Make Bart Ride Injury 500". The job takes place at Injury 500 and takes 6 seconds.
Task: "Make Springfielders Staff Rides" (x3). The jobs take place at IS Attractions and take 6 seconds.
Quest reward: Foam Knife.png100/Inflatable Axe.png100/Rubber Chainsaw.png100 and XP10

Characters that can do the "Staff Rides" job include:

Homer, Apu, Ned, Cletus, Skinner, Willie, Diane, Itchy, Moe, Marge, Scratchy, Jeremy, June Bellamy, Park Engineer, Tina Ballerina, Ms. Mouse, Squeaky Voice Attendant, and L.T. Smash

Pt. 4

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer - Annoyed Stupid tourists. Hey, idiots, way to come from a place I don't!
Quimby - Stern Zip it, Simpson. Those tourists are willing to drop hundreds on cheap, worthless park souvenirs.
Homer - Angry Not if I buy them first!
Task: "Tap Park Visitors" (x10).
Task: "Tap Park Visitors in Other Springfields" (x3).
Quimby Rather than hire teenagers to wear walk-around costumes, we'll use science to actually bring Itchy and Scratchy to life.
Quimby - Proud Using this smoky, terrifying machine, Professor Frink can animate cartoon cells into living Itchies and Scratchies.
Quimby But first, perhaps he'd like to issue a dire warning on the dangers of playing God.
Professor Frink - Sad Why? Are you actually going to listen?
Quimby Well, no.
Professor Frink - Angry OH REALLY?! WHAT A STUNNER! LOOK AT ME, I'M STUNNED!
Professor Frink - Sad Just press the big red button and doom us all, already.
Reward: Itchy
Itchy - Happy Hee hee hee! Here, kitty, kitty!
Scratchy - Screaming Aaaaaah!
Quest reward: Foam Knife.png100/Inflatable Axe.png100/Rubber Chainsaw.png100 and XP10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Itchy's exclamation mark
Itchy - Manic *maniacal laughter* Itchy LOVE stabby!
Marge - Scream The adorable mouse is stabbing everyone in sight!
Professor Frink - Deadpan What a shock. If only someone had warned us.
Itchy It okay! Me use big needle and thread and sew them up good as new!
Marge - Angry That only works in your stupid, sadistic cartoon, you nutcase!
Itchy - Serious Whoa, whoa. “Stupid”? “Nutcase”? For crying out loud…words hurt, lady.
Task: "Build Nurse's Station". It takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Itchy Threaten Everyone". The job takes 4 hours.
Itchy - Happy All dem people good as new! Ready for more stabby!
Quest reward: Foam Knife.png100 and XP10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark
Quimby - Embarrassed No telling what a murder rate of one in three will mean for our “Theme Park Monthly” rating.
Roger Myers Jr. The network is not happy. They're sending one of their top executives to take control.
Quimby - Happy We're saved!
Roger Myers Jr. What? Network ratings have been declining for decades. You think a TV exec can fix anything?
Roger Myers Jr. But they are WORLD-CLASS in blame avoidance.
Roger Myers Jr. If there's a scapegoat out there we can pin this whole debacle on, trust me, she'll find it.
Quimby - Happy We're saved!
Task: "Unlock Diane".
Diane I'm hungry. Assemble a focus group to tell me what I want for lunch.
Quest reward: Foam Knife.png100 and XP10

Pt. 7

After tapping on Diane's exclamation mark
Diane We've got a reanimated nightmare rodent slaughtering at will. How is that playing with the eighteen to forty-nine-year-olds?
Quimby Um… bad?
Diane Call a town meeting. We have to get ahead of this thing, let the audience know that WE know we've let them down.
Diane - Happy Then, we announce that we’re bringing back “Mabel”, the beloved nineteen-nineties sitcom. Boom! Crisis averted.
Quimby - Proud My God, you're wonderful.
Task: "Make Diane Avoid Blame". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Gather for a Meeting" (x5). The jobs take place at the Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate and take 4 hours.
Diane - Happy Itchy, thank you for coming in. Let me say what a huge fan I am.
Itchy - Confused Stabby stabby?
Diane Love it! Listen, how would you like your own one-hour weekday show on my network?
Diane You'd need to promise to stop the killing. Just until sweeps.
Itchy Can Itchy's bandleader be Chris Daughtry?
Diane - Happy I'll set it up. He's a personal friend.
Message You have completed the Act 1 story! Keep Springfielders working the attractions and collecting from Park Visitors, Act 2 starts soon!
Quest reward: Foam Knife.png200 and XP20