A Burns for All Seasons
A Burns for All Seasons is a movie about the life of Mr. Burns that he submitted to the Springfield Film Festival.
Contents
Starring
- Mr. Burns as himself
- Bumblebee Man
- Tommy Tune as Smithers
Directed by
Written by
- Jeff Westbrook
- Colleen Millea
- Howard Leggett
- Robert Marra
- Jim Tonti
- Jerry Monaco
- Randy Zavada
- Ted Phillips
- J. August
- Steve Fein
- Kim Madrigal
- Marcial Pivano
- Starr Dogg
- Richard X. Vegas
- Velma Crow
- Jay Weinstein
- Mark Lichterman
- Emma Shannon
- Denise Cox
- Mike Himes
- Lisa Baran
- Nils Jackson
- Geoff Fudge
- Howie March
- David Heyman
- Arne Rickert
- Maiya Williams
- Rebecca Shannon
- Rachel Heiden
- Corinna Yvonna
- Lowell Burns
- Babaloo Smithers
- Henry Thomas (as Elliott)
- Charlton Heston (as Judah Ben-Hur)
Plot
The opening consists of the title frame showing Mr. Burns touching God's finger, followed by the credits: Mr. Burns and Bumblebee Man as themselves, and Tommy Tune as Smithers; followed by a long list of writers, ending with Lowell Burns and Babaloo Smithers.
The first scene opens with Mr. Burns atop a horse wearing a sombrero, bandoliers of machine gun ammunition draped across his chest. "Simple villagers," he says to a group of people, "I promise you I will close plants in America and bring work here!" Chespirito cries, "Viva Senor Burns!" and the assembled villagers cry, "Viva! Viva!" Burns' horse gallops off, but Burns doesn't manage to stay in the saddle, instead getting dragged back and forth along the ground.
The next scene features Mr. Burns on one knee saying to a child, "Remember, Elliot, I'll be right here." Burns' fingertip lights up briefly as he touches Elliot on the chest, over his heart. Burns then boards a spaceship, its door spirals closed, and the ship takes off.
The next scene shows a Roman centurion on a horse leading a group of shackled prisoners across the desert. The last prisoner, who bears a striking resemblance to Charlton Heston, collapses from exhaustion. A shadow appears over him: a man kneels in front of him, strokes his hair, and hands him a bottle of spring water. "Drink up, Judah Ben Hur," exhorts Mr. Burns. Ben Hur does so, then looks up gratefully and says, "You truly are the king of kings." A heavenly light shines down upon Burns, and he says "Excellent."
Reception
The audience at the film festival reacted angrily and dismissed it as "Pure egotism" and "Self-indulgent tripe." At the very end, everyone booed the film. Smithers tried to explain away the booing by saying that they were cheering by shouting "Boo-urns," but everyone was really booing except Hans Moleman (who said he was saying "Boo-urns"). Determined to win the festival, Mr. Burns bribed Krusty and Mayor Quimby, both of whom were part of the five-person jury, to vote for his film. However, he lost out to Barney's film Pukahontas, which won by earning the other three votes (Jay Sherman, Marge Simpson, and Homer Simpson).
Months later, he submitted the film to the Academy Awards, but lost out to a remake of Moleman's Man Getting Hit by Football starring George C. Scott.
Cultural References / Trivia
- The film's title is a pun on the 1966 film A Man for All Seasons, which starred Charlton Heston.
- The opening frame is a parody of Michelangelo's fresco The Creation of Adam from the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
- Burns' film blatantly lifted scenes from E.T. and Ben-Hur.
