Everybody Hates Ned Flanders

File:EveryoneHatesFlanders.jpg

"He's your perky, peppy nightmare-nieghborino!"

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders is an Emmy-nominated song from the episode Dude, Where's My Ranch?. In the episode, it was written by Homer Simpson. It was supposed to be a Christmas carol, but when Flanders interrupted Homer's writing of it, he decided to make a hate song about him. After hearing it in Moe's Tavern, guest star David Byrne decided to make it into a CD and have it play all over Springfield on radios, church choirs and karaoke bars. However, after hearing several knock-offs, Homer gives up on the song. The music was written by Alf Clausen and Ken Keeler and the lyrics by Ian Maxtone-Graham and Keeler. It is part of the seventeenth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify. It was nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics in 2003. It lost to "Aren't They All Our Children" from the television special The Concert for World Children's Day.

Lyrics

David Byrne:

Excuse me. I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield and I couldn't help overhear your delightfully cruel hate song.

Carl:

David Byrne?

Moe:

Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...

David Byrne:

And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo.

Lenny:

I thought that was Philip Glass.

David Byrne:

Yeah, he wishes.

Homer:

Hey, mister, if you like my song so much, wouldja like to buy a tape? It's already rewound.

David Byrne:

No thanks, but I would like to sing it with you and produce it.

Homer:

(groans) Fine.

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A,
Homer: His name is Ned!
Lenny/Carl: E-R-S,
Homer: His wife is dead

Lenny/Carl: Everybody hates that stupid jerk
Byrne: You can't upset him even slightly,
He just smiles and nods politely,
Then goes home and worships nightly,
His Leftorium, is an emporium, of woe!
Lenny/Carl: F-L-A,
Homer: Don't yell at Ned!
Lenny/Carl: D-E-R,
Homer: His wife is dead!
Everybody hates that stupid jerk!
Byrne: Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,
Filling clubs with angry Valentinos,
You don't have to move your feet,
Just hate Flanders to the disco beat.
Homer/Byrne: He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
If you despise polite left-handers,
Homer/Byrne/Flanders: Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.
Todd: That's us!
Rod: Hooray!
Audience: F-L-A,
Apu: His name is Ned,
Audience: E-R-S,

Apu: He is so white bread,
Choir: A smiling moustache geek who walks with God!