Springfield Nuclear Power Plant softball team
The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant softball team is a team that represents Mr. Burns' nuclear plant in the city softball league.
Contents
History
According to Lenny, the team has had a poor history. Prior to 1992, their best season was 1991, where the team had two wins and 28 losses. Following that season, a number of players, including Lenny, Carl and Charlie decided not to play again. However, Homer convinced them to play because he had a secret weapon, his homemade Wonder Bat.
1992 season
Original team
The 1992 team's original lineup consisted of Homer at right field, Lenny, Carl, Charlie, and a number of unknown players. In their opening game against the Springfield Police Department, the Power Plant and was down 5-2 in the ninth with bases loaded. Homer went up to bat and revealed his secret weapon - Wonder Bat - to his team mates. They are all skeptical, but Homer manages to hit a home run, and wins the game. Them team goes on a hot streak, picking up wins against East Springfield, Fort Springfield and Springfield Heights, thanks largely to Homer and his bat.
Eventually, the only thing standing between the Plant and the league pennant is Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant. When they discover this, Mr. Burns, and Shelbyville plant owner Aristotle Amadopolis decide to make a million dollar bet on the outcome.
Mr. Burns takes over
Following his wager, Mr. Burns decides to take a more hands-on role in the team and manage them. He decides to replace his current team with a group of Major League players who are given token jobs at the plant. He proposes a "dream team" that includes Cap Anson, Honus Wagner and Mordecai Brown, but is informed by Smithers that all of the players are dead. Smithers decides to recruit the team, and is given 24 hours.
Burns' new team
| Pos. | Player |
|---|---|
| 1B | Don Mattingly |
| 2B | Steve Sax |
| 3B | Wade Boggs |
| SS | Ozzie Smith |
| LF | Jose Canseco |
| CF | Ken Griffey, Jr. |
| RF | Darryl Strawberry |
| C | Mike Scioscia |
| P | Roger Clemens |
The new team practices
After revealing his new acquisitions to his employees, the old team begin to realize Burns' scheme. Mike Scioscia decides to do the job he was hired to do and run the solid contaminant encapsulator, but is chewed out by Burns. Burns holds a number of practices to get his new team in shape. He tells them they can only drink a special nerve tonic which promotes health (but has also been known to cause gigantism). Ken Griffey, Jr. tries it and becomes hooked. Darryl Strawberry takes over right field position, much to Homer's chagrin. Burns hires a Hypnotist to try to convince his team that they are all good players. Burns continually hassles Don Mattingly over his sideburns, even thought the latter does not have any. Burns finally posts his starting line-up, and the nine Major League players have taken over all of the positions.
Burns tells Smithers that his new team is unstopable, "Unless, of course, my nine all-stars fall victim to nine separate misfortunes and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen. Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunates, there's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes? I'd like to see that!"
"Nine separate misfortunes"
The night before the game against Shelbyville, a number of misfortunes befall the new players.
- Steve Sax is pulled over by Eddie and Lou. Sax tries to be friendly, but Eddie and Lou read that he's from New York City, and think that he is the cause of a number of murders.
- Mike Scioscia, who had tried to do his job and run the solid contaminant encapsulator, comes down with acute radiation poisoning.
- Ken Griffey, Jr. comes down with gigantism after drinking too much nerve tonic.
- Jose Canseco comes across a house fire, and rushes in to save a woman's baby. The woman is grateful, and sends him in to save her cat, then her player piano. Saving all those objects takes a lot of time, and Canseco doesn't make the game.
- Wade Boggs gets in an argument with Barney over who is the greatest English Prime Minister. Boggs argues for Pitt the Elder while Barney argues for Lord Palmerston. In the end, Barney knocks Boggs out.
- Ozzie Smith visits the Springfield Mystery Spot and disappears.
- Roger Clemens thinks he is a chicken because of the Hypnotist.
- Don Mattingly is thrown off the team because Mr. Burns believes he has sideburns. Burns continually hassles Mattingly, until he decides to shave his head. This is still not good enough, and he is thrown off.
The Shelbyville Game
In the end, Darryl Strawberry is the only one of the Major Leaguers who plays the game. Strawberry has the game of his life, hitting nine home runs. In the bottom of the ninth, it's a tie game with bases loaded and two outs. Strawberry goes up to bat, but Burns decides to send him to the showers because he and the pitcher are both left-handed. Burns sends Homer in to pinch hit. Burns goes over the signals with Homer, but only confuses him. When he steps up to the plate, Homer becomes distracted by Burns' signals, and gets hit in the head by a pitch. Because the rules state that a hit batter gets to take a base, the power plant scores a run and wins the game and the pennant.
