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Ice-Cold Hands, Lukewarm Heart

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Revision as of 11:28, June 12, 2024 by SolarBot (talk | contribs) (replaced: ’ → ' (3), … → ... (15))
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Ice-Cold Hands, Lukewarm Heart
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: Winter 2014
Required characters: King Winter, Homer, Lisa

Ice-Cold Hands, Lukewarm Heart is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Winter 2014 content update. It requires King Winter to be obtained.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer - Annoyed Typical. A new guy moves into town and builds his cave right on the limits of the property line.
Lisa - Shocked It's the cave of King Winter, the evil troll who every Christmas feasts on his own children!
Homer - Thoughtful Well, my first thought is disapproval, but I am open to learning alternate methods of parenting.
Lisa - Alarmed Can't you feel the evil emanating from that man's cave?
Homer Man cave, eh? Wonder if he gets the Football Channel.
Task: "Make Homer Explore King Winter's Cave". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark
King Winter Who dares enter the dark realm of the Winter King?!
Homer - Scared A fat American and his defenseless daughter!
Lisa - Angry You don't belong in Springfield, King Winter.
Homer Yeah, this is a family town where overweight kids are allowed outside alone all times of the day and night.
King Winter Look, I have a bad reputation from that TV documentary about me, but I'm trying to put it all behind me.
King Winter I mean, do you know what it's like to feel the blood of your own children in your own beard?
Homer - Dreamy No, but I've imagined it many times.
King Winter Here, I've got a brand new gaming console. Play some games while I make cocoa, and I'll explain everything.
Task: "Make King Winter Make Cocoa". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Play Video Games in King Winter's Cave". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Play Video Games in King Winter's Cave". The job takes place at King Winter's Cave and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark
King Winter - Sad It's been so many years since that regrettable incident with the children. All that time I've been alone and lonely.
King Winter So I'm looking for a wife.
Homer What kind of a wife?
King Winter Well, she should want a lot of children but she shouldn't get very attached to them.
Homer What you want is a public school teacher. I'll set you up with Miss Hoover.
King Winter Wonderful! I will reward you with anything within my power as Winter King.
King Winter Icy slush in someone's shoes. A dead car battery. A snot icicle.
Homer - Happy Your target's name is Flanders. Have no mercy.
Task: "Make King Winter Annoy Flanders". The job takes place at Flanders House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark
King Winter - Sad Homer, I have a date with Miss Hoover tonight, but I'm nervous.
King Winter - Sad I've been out of the dating game so long. I don't know what modern women like.
Homer Did you get Miss Hoover some flowers?
King Winter Yes, a bouquet of gray asphodel blasted by chilling frost.
Homer Uh huh. Where are you going to take her?
King Winter Bowling.
Homer Sounds good.
King Winter Bowling boulders at helpless villagers before I steal their children.
King Winter - Scared That's bad, isn't it? Bro, you gotta give me some tips.
Lisa - Sad Dad, how could you help an evil troll like King Winter improve his dating life?
Homer I don't feel good about it, but he invoked the bonds of bro-hood.
Homer Besides, having a wife who'd clean up his awesome man cave is the worst punishment of all.
Task: "Reach Level 16 and Build the Guilded Truffle".
Task: "Make King Winter Go on a Date". The job takes place at the Gilded Truffle and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5

After tapping on King Winter's exclamation mark
Homer So King Winter, how'd the date with Miss Hoover go?
Lisa Although I disapprove, if there's going to be a wedding I call dibs on flower girl.
King Winter Oh, there'll be no wedding. Although she was totally delicious.
Lisa - Shocked Those bones you're gnawing on... you mean you...
King Winter Oh relax, they're from the barbecue joint. I can't marry your teacher. She hates kids so much even I think it's creepy.
Task: "Make King Winter Gnaw on Some Baby Back Ribs". The job takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20

Behind the Laughter

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 1:

King Winter MUAHAHAHA! From the poorly edited scenes of a long forgotten straight to video movie, I rise back to life!
Homer I don't mean to sound racist or anything... but who are you? And why are you blue?
King Winter Hang on a minute, I'm not here to munch on your offspring. I just need a safe place to chill out a while! ...pardon the pun.
King Winter Will you listen to my tale before this escalates any further? Pretty please with with non-human-derived sugar on top?
Homer Sugar, you say? You've got my attention...

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 2:

Homer I'm glad you're just a horribly disfigured homeless guy with a portable cave. That's way less weird than being a cannibal.
King Winter I know, right?
Homer Say, since we're all chummy now, would you care to join me for a beer at Moe's?
King Winter I'd be honored Homer!
Homer Hmm... beer at Moe's or the cold empty cave of a homeless blue guy...
Homer Wow, that's one neat looking place you've got here!
King Winter Thanks Homer. It's simple, but it's home.
Homer Say, is that a giant fire pit filled with tiny human bones?
King Winter Yup, all original stone work too!
Homer Wow! And what's all that rope for?
King Winter ...
Homer Oh.
King Winter Now, remember your promise Homer.
King Winter Either you bring me a child to eat or the unpublished novel on the USB key I found in your pocket gets it.
Homer Come on! I can't go around kidnapping kids just so you can eat them! That's wrong! And immoral!
Homer Alright! I'll do it in the name of art!
Homer The world must not be robbed of the ultimate James Bont sequel.

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 3:

Homer Oh Lisa, I'm faced with a terrible choice. Either I find King Winter a child to eat, or my unpublished novel remains unpublished.
Lisa How is this actually a choice?
Homer Every one of its twenty pages is more precious to me than Bart!
Lisa Perhaps we can mend King Winter's cannibalistic ways.
Lisa You invite King Winter over for a meal and I'll prepare a dinner party the likes of which he'll never forget...
Task: "Make Homer Invite King Winter for Dinner".

The following dialogue was cut from Pt. 4:

Lisa Did King Winter agree to come to our dinner party?
Homer Yes. He seemed excited.
Lisa No, it's Uter. Anyway, everything is ready.
Lisa If all goes well, we'll wine and dine him, and when he's decided he loves every bite, we'll reveal it's all a vegetarian ruse!
Homer If this doesn't work we'll die right after a highly unsatisfactory meal! Even death row serves meat.
Lisa Don't be so dramatic dad. If he doesn't like the dinner I've still got a chocolate cake full of sleeping pills.
Lisa Wait a minute... where did my cake go? Dad?!
Homer Zzz.... Zzz....
King Winter What is this? Are you sure this is the flesh of a fat german child?
Homer Uhh... Yup. Definitely. Butchered him myself. With tools ... and such.
King Winter Why the heck is it orange?
Homer Uh... He had a thing for tanning salons.
King Winter Something's not right here. The texture's all wrong.
Homer Haha, yeah, you know those crazy Germans. You'd be the same if you ate nothing but sauerkraut and pumpernickel.
King Winter ell, that was officially the most disgusting meal I've ever had.
King Winter I'm so dissatisfied, I'm not even going to go through my plan to have you both for dessert.
Lisa I'm glad to hear it... I think.
Lisa Sob This dinner didn't go according to plan at ALL!
Lisa You were supposed to love all this vegetarian food and turn into a vegan!
King Winter GASP You tricked me!
Homer Yes we did. We tricked you with vegetables, like we trick EVERYONE who comes to dinner since Lisa became a meat hater.