Difference between revisions of "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"/Quotes"
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(Created page with "{{TabQ |episode=Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" }} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Lisa Gets an "A"|Mayored to the Mob}} :''(Bart looks in a brochure for a ghost town)'' :'''Bart:''...") |
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| Line 6: | Line 6: | ||
:''([[Bart]] looks in a brochure for a ghost town)'' | :''([[Bart]] looks in a brochure for a ghost town)'' | ||
:'''Bart:''' This ghost tow is gonna be great! Now with 30 percent more gun fights! | :'''Bart:''' This ghost tow is gonna be great! Now with 30 percent more gun fights! | ||
| − | : | + | :'''[[Marge]]:''' And 40 percent more rootin' tootin'! |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Marge:''' It's so sweet of you to take us out like this, Homie! Come on, kids, three cheers for your father! Hip, hip...! | :'''Marge:''' It's so sweet of you to take us out like this, Homie! Come on, kids, three cheers for your father! Hip, hip...! | ||
| Line 25: | Line 25: | ||
:'''Marge:''' Oh, thank [[Heaven]]! | :'''Marge:''' Oh, thank [[Heaven]]! | ||
:'''Tour Guide:''' Lots of prostitutes in there! | :'''Tour Guide:''' Lots of prostitutes in there! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Hey, robot! get your metal ass down here! | ||
| + | :''(the bartender walks down to Homer)'' | ||
| + | :'''Bartender:''' First of all, I'm not a robot. And second, I got this metal ass in 'Nam, defending this country for lazy jerks like you. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''[[Grampa]]:''' Can't get a good sasparilla like this back in [[Springfield]]. It angries up the blood. | ||
| + | :'''Bartender:''' Heh, you like it, huh? | ||
| + | :'''Grampa:''' Up yours! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Grampa:''' Can I go to the bathroom before we leave? | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' But we gotta get home. I don't want to miss "[[Inside the Actor's Studio]]". Tonight is {{W|F. Murray Abraham}}. | ||
| + | :'''Grampa:''' But I really need to- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' ''(stern)'' F. Murray Abraham! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''([[Doctor Hibbert]] looks at Grampa's X-rays)'' | ||
| + | :'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Oh, dear [[God]]! This man's kidneys have exploded! There's nothing left! | ||
| + | :'''Marge:''' Oh, no! | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Yeah, that's what happens when you get older. It's one of those natural things. Beautiful, in it's way. | ||
| + | :'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Uh, actually, his kidneys were fine yesterday when he had his annual checkup. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Excuse me, Doctor, I think I know a little something about medicene. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Grampa:''' I don't feel so good. Maybe I oughta eat something. | ||
| + | :'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Oh, I'm afraid your eating days are over. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Grampa:''' How long do I have to live, Doc? | ||
| + | :'''Dr. Hibbert:''' ''(laughs)'' I'm amazed your alive now. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' I'm the luckiest man in the world... now that {{W|Lou Gherig}}'s dead. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' It's not an operation, [[Moe]]. The doctor said it's just a procedure. | ||
| + | :'''Moe:''' No, no, no. Makin' polenta, that's a procedure. You're talking about deadly, life-thretening surgery here. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Moe:''' Listen, I'm just gonna to get right to the point here. Can I have your buttocks, I mean, if you die? They look pretty comfortable. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Yeah, I guess. | ||
| + | :'''[[Carl]]:''' And, uh, are those your original lips? | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Well, actually, I - Hey! Quit harvesting me with your eyes! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
{{Season 10 Q}} | {{Season 10 Q}} | ||
Revision as of 09:39, May 13, 2011
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- (Bart looks in a brochure for a ghost town)
- Bart: This ghost tow is gonna be great! Now with 30 percent more gun fights!
- Marge: And 40 percent more rootin' tootin'!
- Marge: It's so sweet of you to take us out like this, Homie! Come on, kids, three cheers for your father! Hip, hip...!
- Lisa: Mom, don't.
- Marge: Hip, hip...!
- Bart: We heard you the first time!
- Marge: (angry) Hip, hip...!
- Homer: Hey, I'm tryin' to drive here!
- Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
- Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there.
- Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything!
- Tour Guide: Founded by prostitutes in 1849, and serviced by the Prostitute Express riders who could bring in a fresh prostitute from St. Joe in three days, Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known as the place where a trailhand could spend a month's pay in three minutes.
- Homer: (impressed) Three minutes? (he whistles appreciatively)
- Marge: I never realized history was so filthy!
- Tour Guide: First on our tour is the whorehouse, then we'll visit the cathouse, the brothel, the bordello, and, finally, the old mission.
- Marge: Oh, thank Heaven!
- Tour Guide: Lots of prostitutes in there!
- Homer: Hey, robot! get your metal ass down here!
- (the bartender walks down to Homer)
- Bartender: First of all, I'm not a robot. And second, I got this metal ass in 'Nam, defending this country for lazy jerks like you.
- Grampa: Can't get a good sasparilla like this back in Springfield. It angries up the blood.
- Bartender: Heh, you like it, huh?
- Grampa: Up yours!
- Grampa: Can I go to the bathroom before we leave?
- Homer: But we gotta get home. I don't want to miss "Inside the Actor's Studio". Tonight is F. Murray Abraham.
- Grampa: But I really need to-
- Homer: (stern) F. Murray Abraham!
- (Doctor Hibbert looks at Grampa's X-rays)
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh, dear God! This man's kidneys have exploded! There's nothing left!
- Marge: Oh, no!
- Homer: Yeah, that's what happens when you get older. It's one of those natural things. Beautiful, in it's way.
- Dr. Hibbert: Uh, actually, his kidneys were fine yesterday when he had his annual checkup.
- Homer: Excuse me, Doctor, I think I know a little something about medicene.
- Grampa: I don't feel so good. Maybe I oughta eat something.
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh, I'm afraid your eating days are over.
- Grampa: How long do I have to live, Doc?
- Dr. Hibbert: (laughs) I'm amazed your alive now.
- Homer: I'm the luckiest man in the world... now that Lou Gherig's dead.
- Homer: It's not an operation, Moe. The doctor said it's just a procedure.
- Moe: No, no, no. Makin' polenta, that's a procedure. You're talking about deadly, life-thretening surgery here.
- Moe: Listen, I'm just gonna to get right to the point here. Can I have your buttocks, I mean, if you die? They look pretty comfortable.
- Homer: Yeah, I guess.
- Carl: And, uh, are those your original lips?
- Homer: Well, actually, I - Hey! Quit harvesting me with your eyes!
