Revision as of 12:10, August 19, 2024
| Battle of the Brands
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Battle of the Brands is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Season Premiere 2016 content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After starting the update
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Ah, the coffee break: the sweet spot between beer breakfast and lager lunch.
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If you're looking for donuts, forget about it. Burns is on another health kick: all we got is Kombucha and kale.
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No donuts?! This isn't like health insurance, you can't just take it away!
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| Task: "Make Homer Take a Personal Day". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 3 hours.
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You left work and came all the way home just for donuts?!
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Some men climb mountains, some explore the oceans depths; I brave traffic in search of the elusive baker's dozen of delicacies!
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Oh, for the love of… Just go buy some from the Lard Lad.
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The tire store?
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It's a donut store!
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Really?! No wonder the pink tread on my car tires wore right off.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
New Lard Lad
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Pt. 2
| After completing Pt. 1
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Have I travelled back to a time before giant boys walked the earth?! Where's the Lard Lad statue?
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Relax, folks. I'm Robert Chan, CEO of Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts. I'm here with the flesh-and-blood Lard Lad to announce that we're sunsetting his likeness and rebranding with something fresh and modern.
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Isn't "sunsetting" just corporate doublespeak for "killing off?"
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Makeup on the old mug ain't a bad idea. Maybe I'll do some re-Moe-deling. Youse corporate suits always got good ideas up your sleeves.
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Someday I'll have sleeves.
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To commemorate the unveiling of our new icon, we've partnered with local businesses to offer gift cards, redeemable at all Lard Lad locations.
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As a reviled member of the local business community… I'll pass.
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Task: "Make Homer Check Mail for Gift Cards". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x12).
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Moe's Brewing Co.
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Pt. 3
| After completing Pt. 2
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Since I'm flush with gift cards, this Prince of Plastic demands four dozen of your finest donuts, please.
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Sorry sir, all these are only good for one donut. Our prices went up to reflect the ostentatious image of our new brand.
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What the EpiPen?! A business charging more for the same product?
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Maybe I should glitz up the Quimby image. A little flash might help detract from all my 'er, many broken promises.
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If rap culture and the Catholic church have taught us anything, it's that nothing says "classy" like solid gold everything.
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Task: "Make Homer Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x12).
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
New Lard Lad (tarp)
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Pt. 4
| After completing Pt. 3
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Must find… alternative donut. Calories dwindling… pants loosening… shirt buttons relaxing…
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Apu, a dozen donuts, stat! Insert directly into this patient's donut hole
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Sorry, Mister Homer, but the health inspector was coming, so I donated my old donuts to the food bank.
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Awwww! The needy get all the breaks!
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Moe, I normally look to you to get fried but now I need that “fried” to be donuts.
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Sorry, all I got is a pickled egg with the yolk missin'. Damn rats love my yolks!
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Let the rats have their yolks. I'll find my own donuts.
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Task: "Make Homer Search for Donuts". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x25).
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Here donut-donut-donut! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
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| Message
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Tune in to FOX on Sunday 8/7c for the Season Premiere, before unveiling the brand new Lard Lad in the final chapters.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Cinnabun
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Pt. 5
| On September 25 and after completing Pt. 4
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These new donuts are great! There's “fresh rebranded” flavor in every bite.
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They're snackable, munchable, swallowable and a bunch of other “ables” that I'll make up later!
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Damn my voracious donut envy! Gimme one!
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Sorry sir, the price has gone up again. Just like college tuition, if something is more expensive, it makes people want it more.
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As a Springfield College grad, I say that's stupid! Now gimme-gimme!!
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Task: "Make Homer Beg for Gift Cards". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x30).
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
New Lard Lad Statue
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Pt. 6
| After completing Pt. 5
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You tore down my image for this?! Someone tell me where the face is on this thing so I can spit in it!
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It's like a Salvador Dali sculpture gone horribly wrong.
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The statue may be a melted mess but these new donuts are great. I can feel the dark donut-less cloud lifting from over my head.
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That's the actual clouds, Dad. Look, the sun is coming out.
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The Cronenbergian monstrosity has become a thermodynamic weapon!
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Snell's bells! Refraction claims another victim, with the focused light and the BURNing!
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Well, this was a bust. At least we managed to drum up business with all the hype.
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Actually sir, we haven't made a single cent. Everyone's been paying with the free gift cards.
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Recall those cards before Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts stock plummets and we're bought out!
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Hellooo…
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| Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x36).
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Springfield Bowl
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