Difference between revisions of "Milhouse FTW!"

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Milhouse FTW!

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	8
Update:	"The Yellow Badge of Cowardge" episode tie-in
Required characters:	Milhouse, Fit™ Milhouse

Milhouse FTW! is a temporary questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in "The Yellow Badge of Cowardge" episode tie-in content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark
	Sigh
	Hey, it's what's-his-name… Glasses McBluehair?
	No, Mr. Simpson. My name is--
	Wait, don't tell me! I totally know you -- you're Lisa's boyfriend, or girlfriend, or something. Uhhh… Martin?
	No, close though.
	Okay, think, Homer. Not Nelson, because he's cool. God, I wish I was Nelson. Okay, gotta focus… close to Martin… Comic Book Guy?
	That's not a good guess at all.
	Principal Skinner? Duffman? Lard Lad? The Kwik-E-Mart?
	My last name is Van Houten.
	...
	Are you sure I know you?
	Sigh
	Hey Homer! Whatcha doin'?
	Just messing with Milhouse to cheer him up. He seemed kind of down.
	Sorry to hear that. What's up, kid? Did future Lisa future divorce future you again?
	No, field day is coming up at school and I've already got a closet full of last-place trophies in one of those. I don't know what to do.
	You could rent a storage unit!
	Yeah, I bet you could fit a crapload of last-place trophies in one of those.
	It's fun solving people's problems!
	I think Milhouse actually wants to NOT lose.
	Oh, like win? That's super-hard.
	I'd seriously give the storage unit some thought.
	Come on, guys – let's help him win!
	Do you guys actually know anything about fitness?
	I know “feel the burn” is a thing. And there's something called cardio, which is either good or bad. Also electrolytes, maybe?
	Listen to Professor Jack Lalanne over here!
	Maybe I should just look up fitness on the internet.
	The inter-what-now?
	The internet. It's where I learned about the civil war, dinosaurs, my parents' divorce, my parents getting back together…
	…the tidal wave approaching Springfield, the assassination of Trotsky--
	They assassinated Trotsky?!
	There were dinosaurs?!
	I'm gonna go do an internet search for “rock-hard male bodies.”
	Just make sure safe search is on with that one.
Task: "Make Milhouse Research Fitness on the Internet". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 6 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	I think we were really close to helping Morton.
	Totally! You should have kept saying science words.
	I kind of ran out.
	Hello, did I hear my name?
	Yeah, like a million lines ago. It's nothing, it was a joke.
	Hey, here's Milhouse now. How did the web surfing go?
	Pretty good. The internet is a weird place, but it sure has products to buy. Can I borrow your credit card, Mr. Simpson?
	I don't see why not. Knock yourself out.
	This card says “Todd Flanders.”
	Well I’m not gonna give you my “Ned Flanders” card! You’re just not ready for that flexible spending limit.
Task: "Make Milhouse Order Unnecessary Fitness Gadgets". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
	Alright! My stuff is here already. Physical fitness, here I come!
Message	You'll find the Fit™ Milhouse outfit in your inventory!
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Fit™ Milhouse's exclamation mark
	This outfit is great! It's like I got a little fitter just putting it on!
	Now for the most important part of getting in shape… choosing a sports drink.
	YARR! How about a salty treat from the deep to quench that thirst? Allow me to introduce…
	Captain McCallister's very own Obesotade!
	Who's Captain McAllister?
	That's me. Sea Captain, Captain McAllister. Same thing. Same guy.
	I've never heard anyone call you Captain McAllister.
	YAR. You're making this into something it's not. My last name is McAllister -- Captain McAllister, who is a sea captain.
	I sell a product. It's effective. You should buy some.
	Okay, tell me more, Mister McAllister.
	Not Mister, Captain. Mine is the only brine-based sports drink scientifically guaranteed to make you lose weight by peeing out more water than you take in.
	Even as a naïve ten-year-old, I question that as a fitness strategy.
	And how many whales have you killed?
	Two.
	Shiver me timbers, that's two more than me.
	Listen my lad, the only question you need to ask yourself is which color you'd prefer. Will it be goat-urine yellow or rigor-mortis blue?
	If you promise to go away afterwards, I'll take a gallon of both. And here's my credit card.
	Ah yes, Todd Flanders. I sold a barrel of grog to your father Ned just yesterday.
	He's fatter and balder than I remember, but aren't we all.
Task: "Make Fit ™ Milhouse Guzzle Sports Drinks". The job takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Fit™ Milhouse's exclamation mark
	Now that I've bought a bunch of stuff on the internet, guzzled copious amounts of sugary sea water…
	…and been to the hospital for acute kidney failure, I guess I'd better get exercising.
Task: "Make Fit ™ Milhouse 'Work It'". The job takes 24 hours.
	Feel the burn Milhouse! Feel the burn!!
Message	Milhouse is getting in shape. Just like tapping through all the dialog in this update got your finger in shape.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4
Message	Can Milhouse actually pull this 'fitness' thing off? Find out on this Sunday's episode of The Simpsons, 8/7c on FOX!
	Lugash see chubby American boy making silly moves in outdated exercising clothes!
	Look who's talking! You smoke, you drink a bottle of vodka a day…
	…you've never seen a vegetable, and your heart is mostly transplanted pig valves.
	How you know these things?
	They're written on your brochure and you have them tattooed on your back.
	That was crazy night. Never drink and redo brochure.
	When you are ready to stop silly girl moves and become best, come to gym.
	Gasp You mean you're offering to be my own personal trainer?
	Yes, but for a price. Lugash is premium!
Message	Is Milhouse tough enough to handle Lugash's training regime? Complete Lugash's “The Cranky Man Can” storyline to find out!