Difference between revisions of "A Star Is Burns/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer vs. Patty and Selma|Lisa's Wedding}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer vs. Patty and Selma|Lisa's Wedding}} | ||
| − | :''[The | + | :''[The Springfieldians have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. [[Marge]] suggests hosting a [[Springfield Film Festival|film festival]] and having townspeople enter their own movies.]'' |
| − | :'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': | + | :'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea? |
| − | :'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' | + | :'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' Film festival! Film festival! |
| − | :'''Marge''': | + | :'''Marge''': You like my idea? Actually, I have several others— |
| − | :'''Crowd''': ''[in unison, cutting her off]'' | + | :'''Crowd''': ''[in unison, cutting her off]'' Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''Coming Attractions'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, ''McBain: Let's Get Silly'', which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]'' | + | :''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''[[Coming Attractions]]'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, ''[[McBain: Let's Get Silly]]'', which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]'' |
| − | :'''Wolfcastle''': | + | :'''Wolfcastle''': The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars. |
| − | :'''Jay''': ''[disgusted]'' | + | :'''Jay''': ''[disgusted]'' How do you sleep at night? |
| − | :'''Wolfcastle''': | + | :'''Wolfcastle''': On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies. |
| − | :'''Jay''': ''[even more disgusted]'' | + | :'''Jay''': ''[even more disgusted]'' Just asking. Yeesh! |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]'' | :''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[Marge]]''': | + | :'''[[Marge]]''': Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]]. |
| − | :'''Jay''': | + | :'''Jay''': Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. ''[to Homer]'' And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil. |
| − | :'''Homer''': | + | :'''Homer''': It was a {{w|Gummi Bear}}. |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]'' | :''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]'' | ||
| − | :'''Burns''': | + | :'''Burns''': Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what {{w|Steven Spielberg|Spielberg}} did for {{w|Oskar Schindler}}. |
| − | :'''Spielbergo''': ''[looking doubtful]'' | + | :'''Spielbergo''': ''[looking doubtful]'' Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo. |
| − | :'''Burns''': | + | :'''Burns''': Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival! |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]'' | :''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]'' | ||
| − | :'''Patty''': | + | :'''Patty''': Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert. |
| − | :'''Selma''': | + | :'''Selma''': So tell us. Who's gay? |
| − | :'''Jay''': | + | :'''Jay''': Oh, I don't know ... ''[mumbling]'' [[Harvey Fierstein]]. |
| − | :'''Selma''': | + | :'''Selma''': No! |
:'''Patty''': "Who else?" | :'''Patty''': "Who else?" | ||
:''[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]'' | :''[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]'' | ||
| − | :'''Jay''': | + | :'''Jay''': Oh. [[MacGyver]]'s gay. |
:''[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]'' | :''[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]'' | ||
:''[The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]'' | :''[The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[Bart]]''': ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you? |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''[[Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' | + | :'''[[Julius Hibbert|Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' Oh, I thought they were showing ''{{w|The Rocky Horror Picture Show}}'' tonight. |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]'' | :''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars! |
| − | :'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' | + | :'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' This '''isn't''' ''{{w|America's Funniest Home Videos}}''. |
| − | :'''Homer''': | + | :'''Homer''': But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! ''[still laughing]'' Roll it again! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': | + | :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Mr. Burns]]' film festival entry, ''[[A Burns for All Seasons]]'', has just been shown. To Burns' shock, the film draws a strong negative reaction from the audience.]'' |
| − | :'''[[Smithers]]''': | + | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': Smithers, are they booing me? |
| − | :'''Burns''': ''[to crowd]'' | + | :'''[[Smithers]]''': Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns". |
| − | :'''Crowd''': | + | :'''Burns''': ''[to crowd]'' Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"? |
| − | :'''[[Hans Moleman]]''': ''[to himself]'' | + | :'''Crowd''': Boooooooooooo! |
| + | :'''[[Hans Moleman]]''': ''[to himself]'' '''I''' was saying "Boo-urns". | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. [[Jay Sherman]] is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]'' | :''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. [[Jay Sherman]] is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]'' | ||
| − | :'''Jay''': | + | :'''Jay''': How can you vote for Burns' movie? |
| − | :'''[[Krusty]]''': | + | :'''[[Krusty]]''': Let's just say it ''moved'' me ... '''TO A BIGGER HOUSE!!''' Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender.]'' | :''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender.]'' | ||
| − | :'''[[George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' | + | :'''[[George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' Ow! My groin! |
{{Season 6 Q}} | {{Season 6 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 09:00, August 26, 2012
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- [The Springfieldians have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. Marge suggests hosting a film festival and having townspeople enter their own movies.]
- Mayor Quimby: All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?
- Crowd: [chanting in unison] Film festival! Film festival!
- Marge: You like my idea? Actually, I have several others—
- Crowd: [in unison, cutting her off] Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!
- [On TV, Rainier Wolfcastle is appearing on Coming Attractions, Jay Sherman's show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, McBain: Let's Get Silly, which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]
- Wolfcastle: The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars.
- Jay: [disgusted] How do you sleep at night?
- Wolfcastle: On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
- Jay: [even more disgusted] Just asking. Yeesh!
- [At the airport, the Simpsons meet Jay Sherman, who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]
- Marge: Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer.
- Jay: Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. [to Homer] And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil.
- Homer: It was a Gummi Bear.
- [Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, Mr. Burns meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]
- Burns: Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
- Spielbergo: [looking doubtful] Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo.
- Burns: Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!
- [At the Simpson home, Jay Sherman talks with Patty and Selma while Homer watches.]
- Patty: Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert.
- Selma: So tell us. Who's gay?
- Jay: Oh, I don't know ... [mumbling] Harvey Fierstein.
- Selma: No!
- Patty: "Who else?"
- [Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]
- Jay: Oh. MacGyver's gay.
- [Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]
- [The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]
- Bart: [seeing Jay and laughing] You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?
- Dr. Hibbert: [walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held] Oh, I thought they were showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight.
- [At the film festival, Hans Moleman's Man Getting Hit by Football has just been shown.]
- Homer: [laughing to the point of tears] This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!
- Jay Sherman: [disapprovingly] This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos.
- Homer: But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! [still laughing] Roll it again!
- [Mr. Burns' film festival entry, A Burns for All Seasons, has just been shown. To Burns' shock, the film draws a strong negative reaction from the audience.]
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they booing me?
- Smithers: Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns".
- Burns: [to crowd] Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"?
- Crowd: Boooooooooooo!
- Hans Moleman: [to himself] I was saying "Boo-urns".
- [The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the Springfield Film Festival. Jay Sherman is dismayed that Mr. Burns' movie is drawing votes.]
- Jay: How can you vote for Burns' movie?
- Krusty: Let's just say it moved me ... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.
- [A remake of Hans Moleman's movie is an Academy Award contender.]
- George C. Scott: [on screen, getting hit by football] Ow! My groin!
