Difference between revisions of "Stonecutters"
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== Members == | == Members == | ||
| − | === | + | === Stonecutters Members (Springfield) === |
| − | *[[Number One]] ( | + | *[[Number One|Number 1]] |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Julius Hibbert]] (Number 2) |
| − | *[[Lenny Leonard]] ( | + | *[[Jasper Beardley]] (Number 5) |
| − | *[[Carl Carlson]] ( | + | *[[Lenny Leonard]] (Number 12) |
| − | *[[Charles Montgomery Burns]] ( | + | *[[Carl Carlson]] (Number 14) |
| − | *[[Waylon Smithers, Jr.]] | + | *[[Moe Syzlak]] (Number 21) |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Joe Quimby]] (Number 22) |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Charles Montgomery Burns]] (Number 29) |
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Krusty the Clown]] (Number 36) |
| − | *[[Seymour Skinner]] | + | *[[Clancy Wiggum]] (Number 50) |
| + | *[[Number 51]] | ||
| + | *[[Waylon Smithers, Jr.]] (Number 59) | ||
| + | *[[Kent Brockman]] (Number 66) | ||
| + | *[[Arnie Pye]] (Number 67) | ||
| + | *[[Disco Stu]] (Number 79) | ||
| + | *[[Groundskeeper Willie]] (Number 85) | ||
| + | *[[Abraham Simpson]] (Number 111) | ||
| + | *[[Professor Frink]] (Number 314) | ||
| + | *[[Seymour Skinner]] (Number 600) | ||
*[[The Egg Council Guy]] | *[[The Egg Council Guy]] | ||
| − | *[[Herman Hermann | + | *[[Herman Hermann]] |
| − | |||
*[[Sideshow Mel]] | *[[Sideshow Mel]] | ||
*[[Kirk Van Houten]] | *[[Kirk Van Houten]] | ||
*[[Martin Prince, Sr.]] | *[[Martin Prince, Sr.]] | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
*[[Steve Guttenberg]] | *[[Steve Guttenberg]] | ||
*[[Apu Nahasapeemapetilon]] | *[[Apu Nahasapeemapetilon]] | ||
*[[Mr. Largo]] | *[[Mr. Largo]] | ||
*[[Scott Christian]] | *[[Scott Christian]] | ||
| − | |||
*[[Leopold|Assistant Superintendent Leopold]] | *[[Leopold|Assistant Superintendent Leopold]] | ||
*[[Barney Gumble]] | *[[Barney Gumble]] | ||
| − | |||
*[[Lionel Hutz]] | *[[Lionel Hutz]] | ||
| − | |||
*[[Joey Crusher]] | *[[Joey Crusher]] | ||
*[[Plumber]] | *[[Plumber]] | ||
*Stonecutter's Painter | *Stonecutter's Painter | ||
| − | *[[ | + | *[[Homer Simpson]] (Number 908 / The Chosen One) |
{{incomplete}} | {{incomplete}} | ||
Revision as of 04:14, July 2, 2014
The Stonecutters is a secret organization. The Springfield branch, led by the all-knowing Number One, was joined by Homer.
Contents
Society
The Stonecutters meet on Wednesday nights in a large headquarters, and their activities mostly involve drinking beer in different ways (as well as playing Ping-Pong and attending AA meetings). Members are identified by number rather than name, assigned by the order in which they joined. At least 907 members had joined before Homer. There are only two ways to gain membership: Be the son of a Stonecutter (the society is men only) or save the life of a Stonecutter. The initiation rites mainly involved pranks and being spanked with paddles. The final rite is an oath, the last line of which states that if the secret society is revealed, then the teller's "stomach become bloated, and their head plucked of all but three hairs" (Moe Szyslak suggests that Homer should take a different oath).
The society has two stones, which are attached by a chain shackled around the wearers neck, then dragged. The Stone of Shame is used primarily for banishment; tradition dictates that the wearer be naked. The Stone of Triumph is the larger of the two, and is used for Coronation ceremonies.
Privileges
The rewards are vast: They include reserved roads, closer parking spaces, wonderful chairs, free soft drinks, and swift house repairs. Stonecutters are also told the real emergency services number - 912. The membership pack contains stickers to stop their cars being towed or their wallets stolen by paramedics. Also seen are a society t-shirt, robes, underwear, handbook and secret handshake.
Collapse and reformation
On the night of their 1500th anniversary, Homer Simpson (who got to join because his father was a member) accidentally destroyed The Sacred Parchment. He was about to be banished forever, when Julius Hibbert noticed that he bore the mark of the prophesied Chosen One. Homer became their new leader, and they went out of their way to impress him and let him succeed at everything (by rigging various games in his favor). Homer felt isolated, and urged that The Stonecutters use their power to help other people. The society got increasingly annoyed with the humanitarian tasks that The Chosen One (Homer) kept setting them. The World Council suggested that Homer be killed, but Moe came up with the idea of forming a new club. The society went ahead with this plan, and the The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers was born.
Members
Stonecutters Members (Springfield)
- Number 1
- Julius Hibbert (Number 2)
- Jasper Beardley (Number 5)
- Lenny Leonard (Number 12)
- Carl Carlson (Number 14)
- Moe Syzlak (Number 21)
- Joe Quimby (Number 22)
- Charles Montgomery Burns (Number 29)
- Krusty the Clown (Number 36)
- Clancy Wiggum (Number 50)
- Number 51
- Waylon Smithers, Jr. (Number 59)
- Kent Brockman (Number 66)
- Arnie Pye (Number 67)
- Disco Stu (Number 79)
- Groundskeeper Willie (Number 85)
- Abraham Simpson (Number 111)
- Professor Frink (Number 314)
- Seymour Skinner (Number 600)
- The Egg Council Guy
- Herman Hermann
- Sideshow Mel
- Kirk Van Houten
- Martin Prince, Sr.
- Steve Guttenberg
- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
- Mr. Largo
- Scott Christian
- Assistant Superintendent Leopold
- Barney Gumble
- Lionel Hutz
- Joey Crusher
- Plumber
- Stonecutter's Painter
- Homer Simpson (Number 908 / The Chosen One)
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This article or section is incomplete.
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World Council
Stonecutter Theme song
The Stonecutter theme song goes as follows;
- Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do!
- Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do!
- Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do, we do!
- Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do, we do!'
It is implied that they are responsible for all of these mysteries.
In Video Games
The Simpsons Road Rage
In The Simpsons Road Rage the Stonecutters are only minorly shown. There is a Stonecutters lodge in the Springfield dam, where some people want to be driven to.
The Simpsons: Hit & Run
In The Simpsons: Hit & Run you can drive through the secret Stonecutters lodge in the first and fourth levels. It leads to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Homer can also buy the chosen one suit.
A card about the Stoncutters.
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Real World
- The Stonecutters are based on The Freemasons.
- In the World of Springfield line of toys, various Stonecutter figures were released.
Appearances
Episode – "Homer the Great" 
Video game – The Simpsons Road Rage - Video game – The Simpsons: Hit & Run
- Video game – The Simpsons: Tapped Out
Comic story – From Hell and Back - Comic story – The Pieman of the World!
References
Stonecutters
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