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Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons Guy/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{TabQ|gags=no}}
+
{{TabQ|nogags}}
  
:'''[[Chris Griffin|Chris]]:''' Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show! It certainly doesn't smack of desperation. The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing...
+
{{qf|[[Chris Griffin]]}} Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show! It certainly doesn't smack of desperation. The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing...
:'''[[Stewie Griffin|Stewie]]:''' Okay, that's enough.
+
{{qf|[[Stewie Griffin]]}} Okay, that's enough.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Brian Griffin|Brian]]:''' I guess we're in a town called [[Springfield]].
+
{{qf|[[Brian Griffin]]}} I guess we're in a town called [[Springfield]].
:'''Stewie:''' Springfield, eh? What state?
+
{{qf|Stewie}} Springfield, eh? What state?
:'''Brian:''' I can't imagine we're allowed to say.
+
{{qf|Brian}} I can't imagine we're allowed to say.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Peter Griffin|Peter]]:''' ''[to [[Apu]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>'' Hello, funny sounding [[Cleveland Brown|Cleveland]].
+
{{qf|[[Peter Griffin]]}} ''[to [[Apu]]]'' Hello, funny sounding [[Cleveland Brown|Cleveland]].
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Homer]]:''' Apu, a dozen [[donut]]s for our albino visitors.
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[offscreen]'' I'll pay for their [[donut]]s.
 +
:''[A man who look likes Homer steps out from a dark corner of the [[Kwik-E-Mart]]]''
 +
{{qf|[[Lois Griffin]]}} Thank you so much, sir.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer look-alike]]}} For what? I didn't say anything.
 +
{{qf|Lois}} Oh.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} ''[offscreen]'' It was me.
 +
:''[The actual Homer Simpson then reveals himself from another dark corner]''
 +
{{qf|Stewie}} How come this convenience store has so many shadowy parts?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Apu, a dozen donuts for our albino visitors.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Bart]]:''' [[Eat my shorts!]]
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} [[Eat my shorts!]]
:'''Stewie:''' "Eat my shorts!" I love that! Is that a popular expression like "What the deuce"?
+
{{qf|Stewie}} "Eat my shorts!" I love that! Is that a popular expression like "What the deuce"?
:'''Brian:''' Probably more popular, probably ''way'' more popular.
+
{{qf|Brian}} Probably more popular. Probably... probably ''way'' more popular.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Moe]]:''' [[Moe's Tavern]], Moe speakin'.
+
{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} [[Moe's Tavern]], Moe speakin'.
:'''Bart:''' Uh, yeah, I'm lookin' for a friend, last name Kebum, first name Leigh.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Uh, yeah, I'm lookin' for a friend, last name Kebum, first name Leigh.
:'''Moe:''' Eh, hang on, I'll check. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Leigh Kebum? C'mon, look at the stools. Uh, is there a Leigh Kebum? Somebody check the rear. I know I gotta Leigh Kebum.
+
{{qf|Moe}} Eh, hang on, I'll check. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Leigh Kebum? C'mon, look at the stools. Uh, is there a Leigh Kebum? Somebody check the rear. I know I gotta Leigh Kebum.
:'''[[Barney]]:''' Then you probably shouldn't be handling food!
+
{{qf|Barney}} Then you probably shouldn't be handling food!
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Bob Belcher]]:''' Yeah, we did it!
+
{{qf|[[Bob Belcher]]}} Yeah, we did it!
:'''Homer:''' What's he doin' here?
+
{{qf|Homer}} What's he doin' here?
:'''Peter:''' Oh, we gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened.
+
{{qf|Peter}} Oh, we gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened.
:'''Cleveland:''' No, no, no, no, no, no!
+
{{qf|[[Cleveland Brown]]}} No, no, no, no, no, no!
 
----
 
----
:'''Peter:''' ''[to [[Lois Griffin|Lois]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>'' I'm whispering in court to look smart.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Alright, Peter. If we're gonna find your car, we're gonna think like a car, so let's fill up at that gas station.
 +
:''[Both Homer and Peter gulp down gasoline from the pumps]''
 +
{{qf|Peter}} I feel sick.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Keep drinking! I prepaid 40 bucks!
 +
{{qf|Peter}} Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong.
 +
:''[They then observe a woman putting the fuel dispenser into the rear of her car]''
 +
{{qf|Peter}} Oh crap.
 +
:''[The pair pull down their pants and the scene is cut directly to an adult store in [[Germany]] called [[Video Erötich]]]''
 +
{{qf|Video Erötich customer}} Haben sie Homer und Peter mit Chevron pump? ''[Rough English translation: "Have you got Homer and Peter with a Chevron pump?"]
 +
:''[Clerk points out shelf of DVDs with Homer and Peter holding a gas pump together called [[Gassensexen]]]''
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Glenn Quagmire]]:''' Do you like sex?
+
{{qf|Peter}} ''[to Lois]'' I'm whispering in court to look smart.
:'''Lenny:''' Eh.
 
:'''Quagmire:''' I don't think we're that similar.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Cleveland:''' You know why they paired us?
+
{{qf|[[Glenn Quagmire]]}} Do you like sex?
:'''[[Carl]]:''' Because we're the two funniest guys in our towns!
+
{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} Eh.
:'''Cleveland:''' Damn right! ''[fist bump]''
+
{{qf|Quagmire}} I don't think we're that similar.
 
----
 
----
:'''Quahog {{Ch|James Woods}}:''' You lived in Springfield?
+
{{qf|Cleveland}} You know why they got us sitting next to each other.
:'''Springfield James Woods:''' Yeah, I worked at the [[Kwik-E-Mart]], researching a role.
+
{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Uh, 'cause we're the two funniest guys in our towns?
:'''Quahog James Woods:''' These guys are gonna lose.
+
{{qf|Cleveland}} Damn right. ''[fist bump]''
 
----
 
----
:'''Judge [[Fred Flintstone]]:''' I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision. If ya ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original. They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Budrock.
+
{{qf|Quahog {{Ch|James Woods}}}} You lived in Springfield?
:'''Peter:''' Oh, ho, ho!
+
{{qf|Springfield James Woods}} Yeah, I worked at the [[Kwik-E-Mart]], researching a role.
:'''Homer:''' Ooh!
+
{{qf|Quahog James Woods}} These guys are gonna lose.
:'''Judge Fred Flintstone:''' But rendering a verdict is something I'm paid to Yabba-Dabba Do!
+
----
:'''Peter and Homer:''' Eh.
+
{{qf|Judge [[Fred Flintstone]]}} I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision. If ya ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original. They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Budrock.
:'''Judge Fred Flintstone:''' And I find in favor of [[Duff]].
+
{{qf|Peter}} Oh, ho, ho!
:'''Lois:''' Oh, no!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Ooh!
:'''[[Meg Griffin|Meg]]:''' Oh, no!
+
{{qf|Judge Fred Flintstone}} But rendering a verdict is something I'm paid to Yabba-Dabba Do!
:'''Peter:''' Oh, no!
+
{{qf|Peter and Homer}} Eh.
 +
{{qf|Judge Fred Flintstone}} And I find in favor of [[Duff]].
 +
{{qf|Lois}} Oh, no!
 +
{{qf|Meg Griffin|Meg}} Oh, no!
 +
{{qf|Peter}} Oh, no!
 
:''[silence until Peter's cell phone rings]''
 
:''[silence until Peter's cell phone rings]''
:'''Peter:''' Hello.
+
{{qf|Peter}} Hello.
:'''[[Kool-Aid Man]]:''' Uh, hey. I'm... I'm in the wrong Springfield.
+
{{qf|[[Kool-Aid Man]]}} Uh, hey. I'm... I'm in the wrong Springfield.
 
----
 
----
:''[Peter breaks out of Homer's joke hold]''
+
:''[Peter breaks out of Homer's choke hold]''
:'''Peter:''' What the hell? That really hurts!
+
{{qf|Peter}} What the hell? That really hurts!
:'''Homer:''' No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time!
+
{{qf|Homer}} No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time!
:'''Peter:''' You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time...
+
{{qf|Peter}} You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time...
:'''Homer:''' That's your son!
+
{{qf|Homer}} That's your son!
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer:''' Hey, knock it off! There's a kid back there!
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Peter]'' Hey, knock it off! There's a kid back there!
:'''[[Ralph]]:''' Heh, heh, I'm in danger.
+
{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} Heh, heh, I'm in danger.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Kodos]]:''' Perfect, the Earthlings are destroying themselves.
+
{{qf|[[Kodos]]}} Perfect, the Earthlings are destroying themselves.
:'''[[Roger Smith]]:''' Yeah, it's really great, isn't it, guys? ''[to the viewer]'' We went to summer camp together.
+
{{qf|[[Roger Smith]]}} Yeah, it's really great, isn't it, guys? ''[to the viewer]'' We went to summer camp together.
 
----
 
----
:'''Peter:''' [[Woo Hoo!]]
+
{{qf|Peter}} [[Woo Hoo!]]
:'''Homer:''' Road House!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Road House!
 
----
 
----
:'''Peter:''' I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. I'm a ''[[Family Guy]]''.
+
{{qf|Peter}} I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. I'm a ''[[Family Guy]]''.
:'''Homer:''' I understand. I'm a ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
+
{{qf|Homer}} I understand. I'm a ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer:''' Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other.
:'''Peter:''' With a pile of garbage between us.
+
{{qf|Peter}} With a pile of garbage between us.
 
:''[the two walk off]''
 
:''[the two walk off]''
:'''[[Comic Book Guy]]:''' Worst. Chicken fight. Ever.
+
{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Worst. Chicken fight. Ever.
  
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons Guy/Quotes, The}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons Guy/Quotes, The}}

Latest revision as of 16:33, May 14, 2021



Chris Griffin: Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show! It certainly doesn't smack of desperation. The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing...
Stewie Griffin: Okay, that's enough.

Brian Griffin: I guess we're in a town called Springfield.
Stewie: Springfield, eh? What state?
Brian: I can't imagine we're allowed to say.

Peter Griffin: [to Apu] Hello, funny sounding Cleveland.

Homer: [offscreen] I'll pay for their donuts.
[A man who look likes Homer steps out from a dark corner of the Kwik-E-Mart]
Lois Griffin: Thank you so much, sir.
Homer look-alike: For what? I didn't say anything.
Lois: Oh.
Homer: [offscreen] It was me.
[The actual Homer Simpson then reveals himself from another dark corner]
Stewie: How come this convenience store has so many shadowy parts?
Homer: Apu, a dozen donuts for our albino visitors.

Bart: Eat my shorts!
Stewie: "Eat my shorts!" I love that! Is that a popular expression like "What the deuce"?
Brian: Probably more popular. Probably... probably way more popular.

Moe Szyslak: Moe's Tavern, Moe speakin'.
Bart: Uh, yeah, I'm lookin' for a friend, last name Kebum, first name Leigh.
Moe: Eh, hang on, I'll check. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Leigh Kebum? C'mon, look at the stools. Uh, is there a Leigh Kebum? Somebody check the rear. I know I gotta Leigh Kebum.
Barney: Then you probably shouldn't be handling food!

Bob Belcher: Yeah, we did it!
Homer: What's he doin' here?
Peter: Oh, we gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened.
Cleveland Brown: No, no, no, no, no, no!

Homer: Alright, Peter. If we're gonna find your car, we're gonna think like a car, so let's fill up at that gas station.
[Both Homer and Peter gulp down gasoline from the pumps]
Peter: I feel sick.
Homer: Keep drinking! I prepaid 40 bucks!
Peter: Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong.
[They then observe a woman putting the fuel dispenser into the rear of her car]
Peter: Oh crap.
[The pair pull down their pants and the scene is cut directly to an adult store in Germany called Video Erötich]
Video Erötich customer: Haben sie Homer und Peter mit Chevron pump? [Rough English translation: "Have you got Homer and Peter with a Chevron pump?"]
[Clerk points out shelf of DVDs with Homer and Peter holding a gas pump together called Gassensexen]

Peter: [to Lois] I'm whispering in court to look smart.

Glenn Quagmire: Do you like sex?
Lenny Leonard: Eh.
Quagmire: I don't think we're that similar.

Cleveland: You know why they got us sitting next to each other.
Carl Carlson: Uh, 'cause we're the two funniest guys in our towns?
Cleveland: Damn right. [fist bump]

Quahog James Woods: You lived in Springfield?
Springfield James Woods: Yeah, I worked at the Kwik-E-Mart, researching a role.
Quahog James Woods: These guys are gonna lose.

Judge Fred Flintstone: I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision. If ya ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original. They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Budrock.
Peter: Oh, ho, ho!
Homer: Ooh!
Judge Fred Flintstone: But rendering a verdict is something I'm paid to Yabba-Dabba Do!
Peter and Homer: Eh.
Judge Fred Flintstone: And I find in favor of Duff.
Lois: Oh, no!
Meg Griffin: Oh, no!
Peter: Oh, no!
[silence until Peter's cell phone rings]
Peter: Hello.
Kool-Aid Man: Uh, hey. I'm... I'm in the wrong Springfield.

[Peter breaks out of Homer's choke hold]
Peter: What the hell? That really hurts!
Homer: No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time!
Peter: You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time...
Homer: That's your son!

Homer: [to Peter] Hey, knock it off! There's a kid back there!
Ralph Wiggum: Heh, heh, I'm in danger.

Kodos: Perfect, the Earthlings are destroying themselves.
Roger Smith: Yeah, it's really great, isn't it, guys? [to the viewer] We went to summer camp together.

Peter: Woo Hoo!
Homer: Road House!

Peter: I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. I'm a Family Guy.
Homer: I understand. I'm a The Simpsons.

Homer: Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other.
Peter: With a pile of garbage between us.
[the two walk off]
Comic Book Guy: Worst. Chicken fight. Ever.