How Sweet It Ain't/Quotes
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- Groundskeeper Willie: Willie's gonna say to ya what his mother told him every night before he went t'sleep! I'm very disappointed in you!
- Groundskeeper Willie: The reason you've got no energy is because of all the fatty, sugary junk food the cafeteria gives ya! It's garbage!
- Lunchlady Dora: To be honest, I only serve it to you because I really don't like children.
- Darcy Michael: Take the cookie crumbs out of your ears and listen up! From now on this school will only serve healthy organic food!
- Lisa: Oh thank you, Mr. Michael! I couldn't be happier!
- Darcy Michael: Well, well, it looks like we've got ourselves a Sarcastic Sally here! Fine! You're banned from eating in the school for six months!
- Lisa: But I really love organic food!
- Darcy Michael: Oh, you want to play it like that, do you? Fine! you're banned for a year!
- Bart: That looks really old.
- Homer: It should, it was written in 1500 or something.
- Lisa: Dad, you're not saying this is the actual Constitution of the United States, are you?
- Homer: It's a long story. Crazy adventure, a few celebrity cameos.
- Darcy Michael: Baloney sandwich! Banned! Buzz Cola! Banned! Cookies! Banned!
- Milhouse Van Houten: What? But my nana made those with love!
- Darcy Michael: She made them with transfats! She must not really love you, lad.
- Milhouse: Her hugs have felt a little distance lately.
- Darcy Michael: Free range chicken with a side of organic vegetables! Eat up, little ones!
- Nelson Muntz: What? I've never eaten chicken that wasn't in nugget form! I'm scared!
- Krusty the Clown: Hey, Einstein! What are you doing abusing Sideshow Mel for cheap laughs? That's my job!
- Sideshow Mel: Krusty! This isn't what it looks like!
- Krusty: We'll talk about this in the car!
- Sideshow Mel: I'm afraid I have to tender my resignation, professor!
- Krusty doll: What do you feed a horse horse? Hay hay! I don't care if the treble was off, that's the last recording I'm doing!
- Bart: Wait a minute... Who's paying in Canadian money? Must be the kid who wanted an apple full of poutine!
- Willie: And that's when Willie got hit with this giant spitball!
- Principal Skinner: How can you be sure Bart Simpson did it?
- Willie: It's a drawing of Bart hitting me with a spitball, and he signed his name under it.
- Professor Frink: Greetings! Today, Lisa and I will be explaining all about space's darkest mystery... the black hole... with the blackness and the pulling of the gravity and so forth!
- Lisa: How will we be explaining it, professor? With a chart? I like charts!
- Professor Frink: No, by creating our own black hole!
- Lisa: [GASP!]
- Principal Skinner: You really didn't need to come here in your condition. All he did was chew gum in class.
- Homer: A little thing like an iron lung won't stop me from disciplining my son!
- Lisa: So it turns out all the TV shows with unexpected monkey cameos got great ratings and the station isn't going to press charges against me. In fact, lots of programs are adding monkeys to their casts.
- Announcer: We now return to "CSI: Monkey"!
- Detective: The victim was stabbed, but how?
- Monkey detective: Eeeek eeek!
- Detective: A frozen banana? Of course, it's so obvious! Detective, I guess this is one murderer who won't be giving us the slip!
