| Cold War Blues
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Cold War Blues is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Red Alert content update. It requires The General to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on The General's exclamation mark
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Students of Springfield, I'm here to talk to you today about the incredible career opportunities available in the U.S. military.
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Hmmmm. Get woken up at 4am to do pushups in the mud...or sit on the couch and watch my Shiba Inu go up.
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You know, there's a lot more to being happy than just making money. For example, being a part of something bigger, pushing yourself to the limit, and defending your country!
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Spoken like a true paper hands.
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Aren't you kids worried about the global threat posed by countries like Russia?
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Well, they do have 11% of the world's crypto mining capacity.
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They do?! Is that more than us?!
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Task: "Make The General Talk About the Cold War". The job takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Students Check Crypto Prices on Their Phones" (x3). The jobs take place at Springfield Elementary, Springfield High School, or a Visitable Home and take 4 hours.
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All right, fine. What if I told you that by signing up for the military, you'll get exclusive access to our new NFTs of highlights from the Spanish-American War?
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I'd say, "OK Boomer".
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If none of you young people will fight for our country, then who will?
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You worry about the country, I'll worry about where to put all my tendies.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on The General's exclamation mark
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Hey, you in the clown suit! How'd you like to pick up some extra cash by joining the National Guard?
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I'm all good. Collecting PPP!
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What about you, Homer? With that extra National Guard cash, you could upgrade to premium beer!
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I'm all good. Collecting SSS!
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SSS?
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Sim Simpson Support.
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It's like you folks won't realize how important military service is until your country is actually invaded.
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Why am I seeing a lightbulb floating over my head?
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Task: "Make The General Stage an Invasion". The job takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Ignore Military Service" (x5). The jobs take place at a Shop and take 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on The General's exclamation mark
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Psssssst!
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Huh?
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Psssssst! Over here, comrade. I want to discuss a recruitment opportunity.
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Sorry, only US citizens can serve in the military.
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I'm talking about recruiting YOU!
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You want me to betray my country?!
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No, I want you to become wrestling's newest supervillain!
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Task: "Make The General Ponder a Career Change". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Golden Ring Wrestling Headquarters, St. Basil's Cathedral, the Town Hall, or a Shop and takes 4 hours.
If Rasputin the Friendly Russian is owned: Task: "Make Rasputin the Friendly Russian Measure The General for Tights". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Golden Ring Wrestling Headquarters, St. Basil's Cathedral, the Town Hall, or a Shop and takes 4 hours.
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So what would my character name be?
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"General Sanders".
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Isn't that too much like "Colonel Sanders"?
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Not when you've just signed a cross-promo deal with a national chicken-focused fast casual chain! What size fake beard are you?
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on The General's exclamation mark
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I'll have another, Moe. Actually, make it a double.
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Recruitment not going so hot, eh?
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I only got one person to take a meeting with me...and he cancelled when he found out I wasn't "The General" from car insurance and couldn't help him meet Shaq.
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Hey, why'd you take my drink away?
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No zero-deductible collision coverage for me, no free shots for you.
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If Moe is owned: Task: "Make Moe Get Quotes From GEICO and State Farm". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern or an Eatery and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make The General Try to Get a Buzz From Popcorn Salt". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern or an Eatery and takes 4 hours.
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Come on, General, spill the beans! I wanna hear about some of these cool secret weapons the military has. I heard you have this one weapon that can—
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—read your mind?
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WHOA!
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Ha, we don't have that.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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