Classin' Up the Joint

Classin' Up the Joint

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Springfield Choppers Required characters: Spiro, Youngsters Optional characters: Rita LaFleur, Meathook, Ramrod, Grampa Internal name(s): ClassinUpTheJoint ID(s): 242007 - 242011

Classin' Up the Joint is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Springfield Choppers content update. It requires Spiro to be obtained.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Spiro's exclamation mark Ramrod, when you sink the cue ball on the break then it's game over! I'm playing by official billiards rules, not Meathook rules! Bar fight! *breaks beer bottle* That's enough! I told you guys only one bar fight per day...and you've already had three! One of those wasn't a fight. It was a brawl. No, it was a fight! It was a brawl! Bar fight! Bar brawl! *front door opens* Rita LaFleur? Man, you're a sight for sore eyes. Well, if it isn't Spiro Papadapaconstantikasgianopolopodopotopolis. How have the years treated you, my old Greek friend? Rita, you shouldn't be here. This place isn't the same classy lounge you used to sing at. It's become something worse than a dive bar but better than a Cabo-style Cantina...it's now a biker bar. Don't worry Spiro, I can handle a few wild hogs. *slams Ramrod against the counter* I'll gut you like a gutter rat! I'm here because I'm coming out of retirement and back onto the stage. So I thought...why don't we make this joint the hottest venue in town again? I don't know. I sort of have a good thing going here. A regular clientele that keeps me in business. *hits Meathook with pool cue* *throws Ramrod through window* Okay, maybe you're right. But if we're doing this, then we need Abe Simpson. You two sure made sweet music together. We also made sweet love. I always suspected that and now you've confirmed it. Task: "Make Spiro Go Talk to Abe". The job takes place at the Retirement Castle, Simpson House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Rita LaFleur is owned: Task: "Make Rita LaFleur Go Talk to Abe". The job takes place at the Retirement Castle, Simpson House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Meathook is owned: Task: "Make Meathook Break a Bottle Over Ramrod's Head". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Ramrod is owned: Task: "Make Ramrod Crack a Pool Cue in Two". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. It won't be the same unless you're there, Abe. I feel naked on that stage without you. I feel naked right now! Do we have to discuss this during my sponge bath?! Look Abe, just picture it...the return of Spiro's as a classy lounge. The marquee will read Rita LaFleur and Abe Simpson. Hmm, I do like a prominent marquee. Will it be prominent? It'll be the biggest marquee west of the Mississippi. Then you've got yourself a deal. I'm so excited, Abe! Okay, okay, it's my turn for my bath, so can you guys get going? Unless you want to stay and watch. I don't care. It's up to you. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Spiro's exclamation mark Spiro, what the heck happened to this place? It used to be classy. I mean, how are we supposed to play on a stage with a metal cage around it? Oh, you'll learn to love the cage. Especially when the crowd gets rowdy. Come on, Spiro! You gotta class this place up before a dame like Rita takes the stage. Hmm, what if we turned the basement downstairs into a speakeasy? That way I can keep the biker bar upstairs, and then downstairs can be the classiest joint in Springfield. We'll call it...Spiro's Gyros. Spiro's Gyros? Look, not that many words rhyme with Spiro. Plus, nobody will suspect a kebab place as a speakeasy. As long as there's a secret password to get into the speakeasy, I'm in. How about "pineapple"? Too obvious. What if the password is "password"? That's perfect! No one would guess that! Task: "Make Spiro Class Up the Joint". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Rita LaFleur and Grampa are owned: Task: "Make Rita and Abe Practice Tunes". The job takes 4 hours. MY HEART DOES THE TWO-STEP WHEN YOU'RE AROUND. JUST ONE LOOK AT YOU AND I'M SIX FEET UNDERGROUND. These new lyrics are great, Abe. Wow, you guys sound like no time has passed. Well, I still need to hit the oxygen tank in between each verse. Yeah, and I wish I didn't need an electric-lift to climb onto the piano. Look, I think we're ready to take this live. We just need to get the word out. Not too out, mind you, since we want our speakeasy to be simultaneously hoppin' but also very difficult to find and get into. I can't afford marketing, so the only thing to do is to exploit Springfield's children to get the word out. I'm pretty sure I can ask my grandson to help out. Being a kid, he probably knows tons of 'em! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Spiro's exclamation mark Dad, for the last time: you can't live here. I'm not trying to live here, you idiot. I'm here to talk to Bart. Oh, thank God. Because you living here would have sucked. Big time. You know, I can hear everything you're saying — I'm right here. Are you sure? Because in between everything you say, you stare off into the distance for a couple minutes. I was dancin' under the moonlight with my favorite gal, Eva Braun. And now because of your interruption, she ditched me for that good-for-nothing Hitler! Bart, your Grampa's here to talk to you! And hurry up because each word that comes out of his mouth scares me more and more about getting older. How's it hangin', Gramps? Since you represent the Springfield Kids Union, I want you to get all the kids to help me promote this speakeasy I'm headlining. Whoa, that's a lot of information to unpack. Speakeasy? Headlining? What are you, a parrot? Look, if you want my youngsters working for you, you're gonna have to meet our demands. Okay. Spiro owns the bar. I'll send him to come work out the details with you. What do you need, kid? You're a union shop now, you hear? First off, the bullies now represent all your protection needs. It's a biker bar. I've got a gang. We really don't need— Second, the dweebs'll be covering your accounting. You need them to get creative with the books, you just say the word. I don't have any books. I have a mostly empty cash register and a pile of bills. That's why I'm opening this speakeasy. And lastly, the youngster teamsters now handle your deliveries. It's a bit slower with everything coming via skateboard, but you'll get your goods fair and square. *sigh* Alright, agreed. So you'll take care of marketing my new speakeasy? Generation Z has got it covered. Task: "Make Youngsters Hand Out Spiro's Flyers" (x10). The jobs take place at Shops and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Spiro Practice Making Classy Drinks". The job takes 60 minutes. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Spiro's exclamation mark I can't believe it's opening night. I haven't been this nervous since meeting Yanni in an elevator. Are you two ready? I was born ready. How about you, Abe? I have to take a zizz, but then I'll be ready. There's a pretty good line outside of people wanting to get in. But Otto's got the door all under control. Next! The name's Stogie. "Password". Indeed, Mr. Stogie sir. Come right in. There's a table reserved for you. Next! The password is, er, uh, "password"? Your password is correct, man. Have a nice time. Next! Oh, uh...what was your name? Ramrod. Let us in. You're not on the list. You got the password? What? Not on the list? Check for Meathook. Yeah, I'm not seeing it. Whoa, you guys can't be here. Downstairs is Spiro's Gyros. Upstairs is Spiro's Heroes. We're trying to keep it classy, you understand. Can you believe this, Meathook? This guy thinks we're not classy. Ramrod, I think we should show him just how classy we can be. *takes out chain* Okay, I'll let you in. Just please no bar fights or bar brawls. Please! Task: "Make Spiro Strictly Enforce the Guest List". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Meathook is owned: Task: "Make Meathook Start a Bar Fight". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Ramrod is owned: Task: "Make Ramrod Start a Bar Fight". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Rita LaFleur and Grampa are owned: Task: "Make Abe and Rita Sing Through the Fighting". The job takes 4 hours. MY HEART DOES THE TWO-STEP WHEN YOU'RE AROUND. *throws Stogie over the counter* Dance, old man! JUST ONE LOOK AT YOU AND I'M SIX FEET UNDERGROUND. *breaks bottle over Quimby's head* Your head is my personal bottle opener! YOU'D BETTER CALL THE DOCTOR BEFORE WE EMBRACE... Yes...please...I need a doctor. *sigh* Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Spiro's exclamation mark Alright, look. How about we compromise? I re-open Spiro's Gyros in the speakeasy downstairs, but this time it's a classy biker lounge. So what does that mean? Martinis and champagne but also beer nuts, pickled eggs, and crusty pool tables? And gyros, that's important. But also the classy music. It's got to have classy music. Oh, I get it. You're thinking late '70s rock instead of early '80s rock? No, I'm thinking live jazz on a stage. Fine. Let's do this. Just make sure there's a couple Harleys on display. And add chicken wings to the menu. Everybody loves wings. Task: "Make Spiro Re-open Spiro's Gyros and Biker Lounge". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Meathook is owned: Task: "Make Meathook Take In a Show". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Ramrod is owned: Task: "Make Ramrod Have a Martini". The job takes place at Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer-N-Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. You know, Spiro, I like this new place. I think I could get used to it. Yeah. But it feels like it's missing one thing. And what's that? Bar fight! Bar brawl! Quest reward: 200 and 20

[show] The Simpsons: Tapped Out Springfield Choppers quests
There Goes My Heroes • Springfield Turf Wars • Where the Blubber Meets the Road
Spiro	Classin' Up the Joint
Wolfguy Jack	Greased Irony
Wilbur Nurple	The Bully Pulpit