| Battle of the Quick Wit Brits
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Battle of the Quick Wit Brits is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Springfield Jobs content update. It requires Geoffrey Chaucer to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Geoffrey Chaucer's exclamation mark
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Good lord, by some magic we have returned to walk the world.
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You can walk. I'm going to flit about like an irritating angel.
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Well, time to get Middle English on someone's ass. Care to join me in a haunting?
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Good idea. I'll start by saying some of my most haunting epigrams.
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Task: "Make Geoffrey Chaucer Haunt Tourists". The job takes place at Westminster Abbey and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Oscar Wilde Confuse Tourists With Quotes". The job takes place at Westminster Abbey and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Tour Westminster Abbey" (x3). The jobs take place at Westminster Abbey and take 60 minutes.
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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You saying I can't do both? I'll show ya!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Geoffrey Chaucer's exclamation mark
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Chaucer, what in the Westminster Abbey happened to your clothes?
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I'll just say this: never play strip poker with the ghost of Shakespeare.
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You should know better than to gamble with that hack. That's how he got hold of Francis Bacon's plays.
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Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to seek inspiration for my writing.
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I'm going to walk around town and see if I can find a ghoul who'll lend me some money.
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Task: "Make Geoffrey Chaucer Search for Money". The job takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Oscar Wilde Let Springfield Inspire Him". The job takes 8 hours.
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The only thing this town inspires me to do is throw up.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Geoffrey Chaucer's exclamation mark
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Oscar Wilde, you bon mot spouting baboon, come over here and give me a kiss.
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You're drunk, Chaucer, you disgusting oaf!
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Am not. I was floating around town and I got caught in a cloud of whatever Otto is smoking.
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And no one calls me an oaf except King Richard II!
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| Task: "Make Geoffrey Chaucer Battle a Brit". The job requires Oscar Wilde and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Oscar Wilde's exclamation mark
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Let's not fight, Chaucer. After all, we're both trapped for eternity in this uncomfortable corner of a drafty cathedral.
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Yes, let's focus on something we both love: blurring photographs taken by American tourists.
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I shouldn't but… I can resist everything but temptation!
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Hey, whats this blurry thing-a-ma-ghost doing in ma clickety-look?
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Task: "Make Oscar Wilde and Geoffrey Chaucer Harass Tourists". The job takes place at Westminster Abbey and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Cletus Fiddle With His Camera". The job takes place at Westminster Abbey and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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