A Fail of Two Cities

A Fail of Two Cities

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Northward Bound Required characters: Homer, Connie Appleseed Optional characters: Quimby, Wiggum, Moe, See Currency-earning jobs Internal name(s): AFailOfTwoCities ID(s): 250002 - 250006 Previous quest(s): Second Fiddle Pt. 2 Next quest(s): Buffalo Bridge

A Fail of Two Cities is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Northward Bound content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After completing Second Fiddle Pt. 2 I'm told that your town needs a guide through the lands to the North. Oh great, another Lisa costume. At least it's not another Homer costume. I think we've lost count of how many of those there are. What can I say? The people want what the people want. I'll have you know I'm a completely separate character. The next thing I know, you'll have me reading a book and not eating something I love. Actually, pioneering doesn't leave me much time to read, unless it's a map. A Lisa who doesn't like books?! This changes everything. I will answer your noble call for volunteers to make this deadly trek. I wasn't asking for volunteers. It's too dangerous to bring outsiders. Also, my name is Connie, not Lisa. And don't eat buffalo. I'm sorry, little girl, but a resident of Springfield needs to accompany you in order for the town to legally lay claim to the Northeast Passage. Fine, but I will not be held responsible for their deaths if they don't survive the journey. Hmm. In that case, we better send three. Task: "Collect Wagon Wheels" (x195). If Quimby is owned: Task: "Make Quimby Ask for Volunteers". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Volunteer". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Volunteer". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Moe is owned: Task: "Make Moe Volunteer". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Did everyone pack supplies like I asked? Yep. I got a month's worth of booze ready for travel. And I picked up two family packs from Krusty Burger, which should work out great because these burgers are already a month old! And I brought all the extra ammo we had in the armory. I hope nothing in Springfield needs shooting while we're gone. That's it?! What about medicine, water or clothing? I said I had a month's worth of booze. Look, we all played the computer game simulation of this as kids, and everyone knows that all you need for this trip are bullets. Everything else we'll just find glowing next to a bush. Nature always provides. Which way to the general store? The Kwik-E-Mart? There must be at least one around here. Sometimes there are dozens. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Connie Appleseed

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1 Help me load up the wagon. That Kwik-E-Mart was well stocked. And the proprietor repeatedly thanked me and asked me to return. What is all this stuff? This "stuff" is what's going to keep us alive. Cool, a dartboard! I didn't even think about entertainment, good call Connie. That's a spare wagon wheel, not a dartboard. And what's this, more booze? Then why was you giving me a hard time about bringing two barrels of Duff? This is whiskey. It's the closest thing they had to medicine. Just what the doctor ordered. Task: "Collect Wagon Wheels" (x155). Task: "Make Connie Appleseed Embark on the Journey". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Drink Medicinal Whiskey". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Play Darts With the Spare Axle". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Moe is owned: Task: "Make Moe Serve Drinks". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. So, Connie, tell me...is it true that there are donuts growing in them thar hills of the Northeast Passage? What? No, that's absurd. But that was the whole reason I volunteered! I thought you volunteered to help keep U.S.A. number one? Well, yeah. And donuts, too. A hearty meal'll cure what ails ya. Ahh! Who the heck are you? That's Cookie. He's our chuckwagon cook. I should have introduced you earlier, he mostly stays in the back of the wagon until dinner time. Pleased to meet ya. Now, this is gonna be a long and grueling trip, so who's up for some grub? Me, me! I'll take a ribeye, medium rare, a lobster tail, and a double portion of fries. And for dessert...how's your tiramisu? I gots biscuits and I gots beans. This is going to be a long and grueling trip. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Pone, Pelts, and Beyond

Pt. 3

After completing Pt. 2 The food, it's all gone! What? That's impossible! Yeah, all I ate was the beans. *waves hand in front of face* We know. And all I ate was the flour. That was all the food we had! Those supplies were supposed to last us an entire month! No problem. *fires shot* I just bagged us a buffalo. But...we're miles from the nearest buffalo herd. What about the ones pulling our wagon? Those are our oxen! And we need two to pull this wagon. Relax. The one that's left will pull twice as hard. Now that he's seen what happened to his buddy. Task: "Collect Wagon Wheels" (x115). Task: "Make Connie Appleseed Make Do With One Ox". The job takes place at Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Look for More Flour". The job takes place at Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Show Off His Ox". The job takes place at Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Moe is owned: Task: "Make Moe Be Impressed". The job takes place at Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Let me get this straight. In just the first week of our journey you ate all our supplies AND you murdered one of our oxen? I prefer to say "bagged". It's much less police-y. Well, we have no choice but to turn back and restock at Pone, Pelts and Beyond. Oh no, I'm not going back. It's the Northeast Passage or bust. I'm telling you, we're in no shape to finish this journey in our current state. We should head back and restock. Relax, we still have loads of ammo, and if there's a problem guns can't fix, I haven't met it and shot it yet. Narrator One week later... Come getcha breakfast, y'all. We're having ox sausage, huevos oxaleros, and fresh-squeezed Ox-J. Ugh, if I gotta eat ox one more time... Gimme a break, city dude. They didn't teach us a lot of ox recipes at Le Cordon Bleu, Paris. Besides, ox meat is healthier for you than beef from a factory farm cow. *spits* This is health food?! Yuck, I'd rather starve. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Frontier Wagon

Pt. 4

After completing Pt. 3 Look, up ahead! A herd of buffalo! Now, please, just enjoy their majesty before you— *shoots rifle* So much for majesty. They sure die with majesty. *shoots rifle* Bam, got another one! Nice shootin', Simpson. But get a load of this. *shoots rifle* You killed two with one bullet! Why are you both still shooting them? You've killed— Bagged. —bagged more than we can eat in a year. Nobody said anything about eating them. They're just fun to shoot. *shoots rifle* Majestic! Task: "Collect Wagon Wheels" (x115). Task: "Make Homer Shoot More Buffalo". The job takes place at Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Shoot Even More Buffalo". The job takes place at Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Connie Appleseed Lament Bringing Volunteers". The job takes place at Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Frontier Camp

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4 There's the bridge to the Northeast Passage. We made it! Look across the canyon over there. Are those donuts growing up out of the ground? I knew it! There ARE donuts in them thar hills. In your FACE, Connie Applecore! We discovered a new frontier. Time to celebrate, everyone! Quick — grab a gun and shoot the closest buffalo! Hold on, Wiggy, I think you's gonna have to put a cork in your musket, 'cause it looks like the bridge is out. Moe's right. How are we going to get across? You leave that to me, little lady. *uses police radio* I'm gonna need the chopper over here at the bridge to the Northeast Passage. Also, a cup of coffee would be great, too. Make it a grande. Over. You can't get a signal out here. We're in the middle of nowhere. So, no coffee? But, but, the donuts! All-natural donuts! We can't just leave them there! We have to do something! It's not like we can just jump across. What are we supposed to do? I've got an idea. Guys, what's the one thing that's gotten us out of trouble at every turn on this trip? The copious amounts of ammo we brought? Close. The buffalo! It's time for nature to provide once more... Task: "Collect Wagon Wheels" (x155). Task: "Make Connie Appleseed Survey the Area". The job takes place at Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Toss Buffalo Carcasses Into the Canyon". The job takes place at Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Think About Coffee". The job takes place at Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Moe is owned: Task: "Make Moe Cheer Homer On". The job takes place at Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts, and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Frontier Town

Currency-earning jobs

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward Buy Wagon Wheels Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Grampa, Wiggum, Moe, Quimby 4h Bandit Fort, Blacksmith, Corral, General Store, Hootenanny Barn, Sneed's Feed & Seed, Town Plaza, Mabel's Wagon, Covered Wagon, Frontier Wagon, Simpson House 5, 45 Make His Own Wagon Wheels Cookie Lazy I Ranch 8, 70

Behind the Laughter

The quest name is a reference to the Charles Dickens novel A Tale of Two Cities.