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Difference between revisions of "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"

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'''The Wettest Stories Ever Told''' is an episode of [[The Simpsons]] that aired on [[April 23]], [[2006]].  
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{{EpisodePrevNext|Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore|Girls Just Want to Have Sums}}
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{{Quote|Until then, perhaps an old sea yarn may pass the time. Too bad I don't know any.|[[Captain McCallister]]}}
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{{Episode
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|image= HABF11.png
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|number= 374
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|season=17
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|snumber=18
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|prodcode= HABF11
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|airdate= April 23, [[2006]]
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|couchgag= The Simpson's are in a puzzle. Homer inserts his head on Maggie's and vice versa, but quickly corrects it.
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|showrunner1= Al Jean
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|writer= [[Jeff Westbrook]]
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|director= [[Mike B. Anderson]]
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}}
  
==Synopsis==
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"'''The Wettest Stories Ever Told'''" is the eighteenth episode of [[season 17]] of ''[[The Simpsons]]'' and the three-hundred and seventy-fourth episode overall. It originally aired on April 23, [[2006]]. The episode was written by [[Jeff Westbrook]] and directed by [[Mike B. Anderson]].
A dinner at the Frying Dutchman gone wrong turns into an excuse for another anthology show, this time with a nautical theme - [[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]] tells about the ''[[Mayflower]]'' voyage, [[Bart Simpson|Bart]] tells about [[Mutiny on the Bounty|mutiny]] in [[Tahiti]], and [[Homer Simpson|Homer]] tells about [[The Poseidon Adventure|capsizing cruise ships]].
 
  
===Lisa's Story===
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== Synopsis ==
[[Marge Simpson|Marge]], [[Bart Simpson|Bart]], and [[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]] board the [[Mayflower]] to head for the new world, but just as they do, [[Homer Simpson|Homer]] runs ahead of them and hides in a barrel. They see the police looking for him, and they take pity on him as they hear him praying (he is actually praying that the police kill them instead of him). Even so, they take him with them and dress him up like them. Marge immediately grows on Homer, but Moe likes her as well and is instantly jealous of their friendship. To get Homer out of the way, Moe takes him down to the storage room where all the beer is held and tells him to drink whenever a wave hits the boat. He gets drunk, and Captain Flanders and Reverend Lovejoy find him and other passengers partying. Moe blames Homer, and they place him in a stock. Then, a storm approaches, and Flanders gets knocked out. Homer claims that he steers better when he is drunk, and while drinking a bottle of wine, he leads them safely out of the storm. He and Marge get together, and they all make it to the New World. While having the first [[Thanksgiving]] with the [[Native Americans in the United States|Native Americans]], Flanders says that he's almost sorry for what the [[Pilgrims]] will do to them later.
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{{Desc|While waiting for the dinner at [[The Frying Dutchman]], the family starts telling three stories about ships: "Mayflower Madman", "Stupidity on the Bounty", and "The Neptune Upending".}}
  
===Bart's Story (Mutiny on the Bounty)===
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== Plot ==
The HMAV ''Bounty'' sets sail from England, commanded by [[Captain Bligh]] (Skinner). Bligh severely mistreats his crew, tossing off their mail. They arrive in [[Tahiti]], where the crew has a wonderful time (Bligh later orders them to forget the vacation). Willie warns him of a [[mutiny]], but Bligh ignores him. Eventually, [[Fletcher Christian|First Mate Bart Christian]] leads a mutiny and sends Bligh and Willie off in a [[lifeboat]]. Bligh mistreats Willie and is sent away on a [[sea turtle]]. Captain Bart orders the crews to set sail for Tahiti...then he throws away the ship's wheel and they crash into [[Antarctica]].
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=== Opening ===
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The Simpsons are at [[The Frying Dutchman]] where they are waiting for a meal. [[Captain McCallister]] comes out to inform them that their meal will be late because the chef is having trouble with the day's special. Captain McCallister then suggests that an old sea yarn may pass the time, but then says that he doesn't know any. [[Lisa]] then offers to tell a story.
  
===Homer's Story (The Neptune Adventure)===
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=== Mayflower Madman ===
Homer's story takes place on the [[ocean liner|luxury liner]] ''Neptune'' on New Year's Eve. At midnight, Captain Burns fails to notice a massive [[freak wave]] and the ship capsizes. Led by Selma, survivors Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Lenny, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Old Jewish Man (and his wife), and Sideshow Mel ignore [[Purser]] Wiggum's advice to stay put in the ball room and decide to climb up the decks to the [[engine room]]. While climbing up through the smokestack, Lenny panics and falls to his death. They encounter rooms in flame, tigers, and Homer doing his business in an upside-down bathroom. Jeff Albertson (Comic Book Guy) swims through a flooded deck to help the others get to the engine room, but he has a [[heart attack]] and dies. The group makes it to the engine room, but Sideshow Mel's hair is set on fire because of a [[Oxy-fuel welding and cutting|blowtorch]] from the rescue team and he dies. The rest of the original group makes it off the ship, at which point they encounter the walking [[skeleton (undead)|skeletons]] of the ''Bounty'' crew, who are still trying to get back to [[Tahiti]].
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[[File:Mayflower Madman.png|thumb|left|Homer drunk steering the ''Mayflower''.]]
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At [[Plymouth Harbor]] in [[England]], [[Constance Prudence Chastity Goodfaith|Marge]], [[Bart]], and Lisa go aboard the ''[[Mayflower]]'' to journey to the New World. As they are getting on board, [[Homer]] runs up to the ship and hides in a barrel as he is being chased by two Beefeaters. Marge and the kids offer to disguise him so that he can go on the journey with them. Homer is introduced to the ship's captain, [[Ned Flandish]], and told that they are all Puritans. Homer is upset to learn that they don't drink booze. When Homer tries to make a move on Marge, [[Moezekiel]] tells Homer that he is engaged to Marge, although Marge denies it.
  
==Trivia==
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During the voyage, Homer thinks that Moezekiel will marry Marge instead of him. Homer then strangles Bart for a comment that Bart made, which impresses Marge as her ex-husband used to strangle Bart in the same way. Homer and Marge then grow closer on the journey. Moezekiel gets jealous of how close the two of them are getting, so he comes up with a plan to make Marge hate Homer. Moezekiel shows Homer where the booze is stored and pours Homer a drink. Homer then quickly corrupts the crew, who are then discovered by Moezekiel, Captain Flandish, [[Reverend Lovejoy]], and Marge. Homer is put into the stocks for his crimes and Marge is disappointed in him. At that point, a large wave hits the ship and causes Captain Flandish to bang his head, knocking him unconscious. Homer offers to steer the ship whilst drunk, as nobody else could do it. Homer then successfully got the ''Mayflower'' to the new world.
* In the US, a trailer for the film ''[[Poseidon (film)|Poseidon]]'' aired during the episode's commercial breaks before Homer's story (a remake of the original film ''[[The Poseidon Adventure]]'').
 
*Among the people on the ''Neptune'' are Moe, Disco Stu, Krusty, Kirk (Milhouse's dad), Luigi, Agnes, Apu, [[Elizabeth Hoover|Miss Hoover]], Barney, and Dr. Hibbert.
 
*This episode is the third in the seventeenth season to have the word 'stories' or 'story' in it, the other two being [[Simpsons Christmas Stories]] and [[The Seemingly Never-Ending Story]].
 
*After only six weeks, this is another episode in the seventeenth season to be a multi-story episode, or to be split into three sections. This is like the [[Treehouse of Horror]] series or other similar three-part episodes like [[Trilogy of Error]], from [[List of The Simpsons episodes|season 12]].
 
*The [[fourth wall]] is broken when Moe tells the audience that Old Englishmen spoke with th at the end of sentences, along with the inclusion of thee, ye and thou. Moe has similarly addressed the audience in one of flashback scenes in, ''[[The Way We Weren't]]''.
 
*[[Homer Simpson|Homer]] and [[Moe Szyslak|Moe's]] aggressive competition over [[Marge Simpson|Marge]]'s love (as shown in Lisa's story) has been an ongoing gag in the show that especially references to Season 16 ([[Mommie Beerest]]).
 
*At the end of "The Neptune Adventure," we see the crew of the HMS ''Bounty'' coming out of the mist, only for them to look like skeletons, a possible reference to ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl]]''.
 
*Bart appears twice in "The Neptune Adventure"; as himself throughout the story, and as Bart Christian/"Capt. Bart-bossa" at the end.
 
*The original North American airdate was intended to be April 16; however, it was replaced by [[The Last of the Red Hat Mamas]].
 
*Homer, Marge and Bart are the only characters to appear in all three stories.
 
  
==Cultural References==
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A year later, the Puritans thank the natives for their help settling in. Flandish then says that it makes him feel bad that the Europeans will eventually wipe them out and steal all their land, which scares [[Great Chief Wig-Gum]].
* This episode also references [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]]'s "[[The Rime of the Ancient Mariner]]". In the first story, after the storm breaks off, Homer notices an albatross which he eats. Unlike the poem, this action does not lead to unfortunate incidents. The final act with the appearance of the ''Bounty'' could possibly be a reference to the appearance of the ghost ship.
 
* Homer's story is a parody of ''[[The Poseidon Adventure (1972 film)|The Poseidon Adventure]]'', an action film. There are several similarities between Homer's story and ''The Poseidon Adventure''. Several characters die in ways similar to the movie: Lenny falls off a ladder into surging water and Comic Book Guy dies while trying to tie a rope underwater, both quite similar to the deaths of major characters in the movie. This episode also aired just weeks before the remake of the movie, titled ''[[Poseidon (film)|Poseidon]]'', premiered.
 
* The song played at the beginning of Homer's story is "[[Rock The Boat]]" by the [[Hues Corporation]].
 
* [[Comic Book Guy]]'s "inspirational music" is "Alone Again (Naturally)" by [[Gilbert O'Sullivan]].
 
* "[[Island in the Sun (song)|Island in the Sun]]" by [[Weezer]] plays during the montage of the ''Bounty'' crew in [[Tahiti]].
 
* When the ''Bounty'' crew is in Tahiti, the theme instrumental music that is played is similar to that written in the musical movie ''[[South Pacific (musical)|South Pacific]]''.
 
* At the end of Homer's story, the crew of the ''Bounty'' reappears as living skeletons, parodying ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl]]''.
 
* Lisa sings a parody of "The Morning After" from ''[[The Poseidon Adventure (1972 film)|The Poseidon Adventure]]'', which foreshadows the upcoming destruction of the ''S.S. Neptune''.
 
* Burns makes references to ''[[Earthquake (film)|Earthquake]]'', ''[[The Towering Inferno (film)|The Towering Inferno]]'', ''[[The China Syndrome]]'', and ''[[The Apple Dumpling Gang (film)|The Apple Dumpling Gang]]'', which were popular disaster films of the 1970's (except for ''The Apple Dumpling Gang'').
 
* The ship in Homer's story is called the ''Neptune''. "[[Neptune (god)|Neptune]]" was the Roman god of the sea; the Greek name for the same deity was "[[Poseidon]]".
 
* Scenes of Bart standing on the mast of the ''Bounty'', and the use of music by [[Luigi Boccherini]], are references to the film ''[[Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World]]''.
 
  
==Quotes==
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After Lisa finishes her story, Homer says that he has a story. Marge tells Homer to wait for the third story and says that Bart can go next, as the middle story is usually the worst. Bart then goes on to tell his story.
===The Mayflower===
 
*'''Sea Captain:''' Sorry about the delay. The chef is having trouble with tonight's special. ''(camera shows the chef fighting an [[octopus]] with knives in the kitchen)'' Meanwhile, I can send a bus boy out to get you something from a better restaurant. <br /> '''Marge:''' [[Red Lobster]]?! <br /> '''Sea Captain:''' Not that good. Until then perhaps an old sea yarn might pass the time. (''pauses for a moment)'' Too bad I don't know any.<br /> '''Lisa:''' I know one, about the most important sea voyage in American history — the journey of the Mayflower.<br />'''Sea Captain:''' Aw, yes. The ship that brought [[prostitute]]s to America. <br /> '''Lisa:''' Not Prostitutes, [[Protestant]]s!
 
*'''Homer (hiding in a barrel on the Mayflower, praying):''' Oh, Lord, please let the soldiers kill this family instead of me.
 
*'''Homer:''' What kind of a booze cruise is this? Where's the hooch?<br />'''Ned Flandish:''' We puritans have no place for drunkenness. Or colorful clothes, or dreaming, or poetry. So if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet! Be... Oh no! That was a poem! ''(whips himself on the back)'' Forgive me Lord! A little salt on the wounds... ''(pours salt'') And I'm good.
 
*'''Ned Flandish:''' Such bad language from a woman. Oh no! I just thought of you as a woman! ''(begins whipping himself again)''
 
*'''Homer (after strangling Bart):''' I'm so sorry, Marge. <br /> '''Marge:''' Don't worry. You're choking him the way his father used to. ''(holds up a locket with a picture of her first husband strangling Bart)'' Good times.
 
*'''Homer:''' I thought you guys didn't party on the [[Homosexual|Gay]]flower.<br />'''Moe:''' Stop calling it that!
 
*'''Bart:''' Aw, when we landed I was gonna denounce my sister as a witch.<br />'''Lisa:''' I keep telling you, the ability to add two digit numbers is not [[witchcraft]]!<br />'''Bart:''' Thirty-one plus forty-three. <br /> '''Lisa:''' Seventy-four. <br /> '''Puritans:''' Witch! Witch! Witch! <br /> '''Homer:''' People, this is madness! We can burn the witch later!
 
*'''Homer:''' Land ho!<br />'''Marge:''' What did you call me?
 
  
===Mutiny on the Barty===
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=== Stupidity on the Bounty ===
*'''Homer:''' Let me tell the second story! <br /> '''Marge:''' You can tell the third one. Bart will tell the second because it is usually the weakest.
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[[File:Stupidity on the Bounty.png|thumb|right|The crew of the ''Bounty'' mutiny against Bligh.]]
*'''Captain Seymour Bligh (over speaker):''' Welcome to Day 718 of our voyage. First off, in an attempt to preserve water, you will not be given any water. ''(crew groans)'' And also, because of a sketch of myself making out with a mer-man ''(shows the offending picture)'' I am dumping all your mail from home. ''(Willie does so)'' I can assure you that there were cookies in that mail. Good cookies, the kind only a loving mother or Milhouse's father could bake. <br /> '''Second Officer Milhouse:''' My father's alive?! <br /> '''Seymour Bligh:''' No, he died while baking. It's all in the letter.
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In England, the ''[[Bounty]]'' gets ready to set sail. [[Fletcher Christian]] tells his captain, [[William Bligh]], that [[Admiral Nelson]] is trying to send them a message. Bligh looks through and sees Nelson share the message "Bligh eats dolphin boogers". The ship then sets sail. Seven hundred and eighteen days later, the ship starts to run low on fresh water, so Bligh tells the crew that they're now forbidden from drinking water. He then has [[Willie]] throw all their mail from home overboard as someone had drawn a sketch of Bligh making out with a merman. The crew start to get annoyed at Bligh and Willie warns him that there could be a mutiny. However, Bligh shrugs it off.
*'''Dolph:''' I hate this job. It's nothing like the brochure. ''(holds up the brochure, which has a British sailor with two women)'' <br /> '''Kearney:''' Maybe that's what happens on the last day.
 
*'''Willie:''' I warn ya, Captain. Push this crew too far and there'll be a mutiny! <br /> '''Seymour Bligh:''' Mutiny?! On the ''Bounty''? What have you been smoking? <br /> '''Willie:''' [[Opium]]. <br /> '''Seymour Bligh:''' Besides from that.
 
*'''Chief Homer:''' Welcome to [[Tahiti]]. Enjoy our beaches, [[luau]]s, ladies, and remember — [[Las Vegas|what happens in Tahiti ''stays'' in Tahiti]]. <br /> '''Marge:''' Because we have no way of communicating with the outside world. Tell me, has [[Robert Fulton]] invented the [[steam boat]] yet?<br />'''Jimbo:''' Any day now.
 
*'''Captain Bart Christian:''' Well boys, you doubted me, but there they are — the most beautiful women in the world. ''(camera shows the Bounty trapped in a glacier with hundreds of penguins around)'' <br /> '''Dolph:''' Those are [[penguin]]s. <br />'''Captain Bart Christian:''' Look on the bright side. We'll be credited for discovering the [[North Pole]]. <br /> '''Kearney:''' [[South Pole|''South'' Pole]]. <br /> '''Captain Bart Christian:''' Boy, do I suck. <br /> '''Dolph:''' Yeah you do.
 
  
===The Neptune Adventure===
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The ''Bounty'' stops at [[Tahiti]] to restock and let the crew rest. All the crew have a really good time at Tahiti and are disappointed when they have to leave. Bligh then orders the crew to forget Tahiti and then orders them to sing "[[Row, Row, Row Your Boat]]" as a round. The crew quickly gets sick of this and decides to mutiny and go back to Tahiti. After Bligh and Willie are thrown off into a rowboat, Willie also decides to kick Bligh off, who is then dragged under sea by a turtle. Christian becomes the new captain and decides to get rid of the ship's steering wheel as it is "evidence of the previous regime". This causes the crew to lose control of the ship and they end up at [[Antarctica]].
*'''Lisa:''' I'm starting to think the Sea Captain isn't coming back. <br /> '''Bart (looking out a window):''' He's out there playing [[basketball]]. <br /> ''(camera shows the Sea Captain playing basketball with three employees)'' <br /> '''Sea Captain (slam-dunks):''' Yes! In yar face, Julio! ''(notices the Simpsons looking at him)'' I'll be getting your food in a moment. ''(to employee)'' Six more games. <br /> '''Homer:''' Time for ''my'' tale of moist adventure! It takes place in a dark time for mankind when madness and ignorance ruled—the 1970's!
 
*'''[[Disco Stu]] (aboard the ''S.S. Neptune''):''' Disco Stu has some troubling news! ''(everyone looks scared)'' The ship's doctor has reported an outbreak of...[[disco|Disco Fever]]! The only cure is to [[Get Down Tonight|do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight]]! <br /> '''Lenny (with a notepad and pencil):''' Wait, what was the second one?<br />'''Disco Stu:''' And now, please welcome the [[Leroy Neiman]] of seamen, your captain, Montgomery Burns! <br /> '''Lenny:''' Ten-four, good buddy! <br /> '''Carl:''' I'm [[Chevy Chase]] and you're not! <br /> '''Barney:''' [[Willie Stargell]]! <br /> '''Captain [[Montgomery Burns]]:''' Yes. Welcome to the maiden voyage of the ''Neptune'', the world's most ''unflippable'' ''(winks)'' luxury liner. Help yourself to some pineapple ''upside-down'' cake and apple ''turnovers''. And you will all be getting free hats, so be sure to give us your ''cap size''!
 
* ''(while at the ship's wheel, Captain Burns and First Officer [[Waylon Smithers]] fail to notice the approaching freak wave)'' <br /> '''Captain Burns:''' I love the sea, Smithers! There are no [[Earthquake (film)|earthquakes]], [[The Towering Inferno|towering infernos]], [[The China Syndrome|China syndromes]], [[The Apple Dumpling Gang (film)|appling dumpling gangs]]... <br /> ''(the wave hits the ''Neptune''. Burns and Smithers drown as the bridge fills with water)''
 
*''(as the ship capsizes, Homer's hair falls off)'' <br /> '''Homer:''' ''(screams)'' My wig! I mean, my natural hair!
 
*'''Krusty (after the ship capsizes, he sees a pair of legs on his chest):''' Hey, you schmock, get off of me! ''(the camera pulls out, showing that the legs are his and his torso is severed)'' Going out with a sight gag. Nice. ''(dies)''
 
*'''Selma:''' Attention everyone! I've spent the entire cruise reading these maintenance brochures because as a lonely single woman, I had nothing better to do.<br /> '''Male survivors (Barney, Lenny, Carl, Jeff, Sideshow Mel, and 3 other guys):''' Aww...<br /> '''Selma:''' "Aw"s are cheap. I lookin' for some action.<br> '''Male survivors:''' ''(nonchalant whistling and looking in different directions)''<br />'''Selma:''' That's what I thought. It says here that we gotta climb upwards towards the hull before the ocean starts filling the ship. <br /> '''Chief Purser Clancy Wiggum:''' Don't listen to her! She'll get us all killed! The safest thing to do is to resume our normal activities. Now where's the [[rumba]] instructor? ''(sees the instructor's legs sticking out of the mouth of a [[great white shark]])'' Okay, so that's left, left, right. Come on, people. ''(begins dancing, humming rumba music)''
 
*'''Homer (emerging from the wreck):''' Oh my God! Our boat is upside-down! <br /> ''(the Bounty appears out of a thick fog and the crew becomes skeletons)'' <br /> '''Bart-bossa:''' You guys know the way to Tahiti? <br /> '''Dolph:''' Way to go, genius! You sailed into someone else's tale of the sea! <br /> '''Bart-bossa:''' At least I'm not gay for skeleton Kearney. <br /> '''Kearney:''' Our ribs got tangled seventy-five years ago! That's not gay! <br /> '''Bart-bossa:''' Right, you keep believing that.
 
  
==Goofs==
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After Bart finishes his story, Captain McCallister still hasn't returned as he is out playing basketball. Homer then goes on to tell his story.
*Marge is [[allergy|allergic]] to fish and probably shouldn't be in The Frying Dutchman. Even if she doesn't eat anything, inhaling [[fish]] particles in the air and on the [[table (furniture)|table]]s or [[dishware|dish]]es might make her very ill.
 
==Broadcasting Information==
 
'''[[United States|USA]]/[[Canada]]'''
 
*'''1st Airdate:''' Sunday, [[April 23]], [[2006]]
 
*'''2nd Airdate:''' Sunday, [[June 18]], [[2006]]
 
'''[[United Kingdom|UK]]'''
 
*'''1st Airdate:''' Sunday, [[July 2]], [[2006]]
 
*'''2nd Airdate:''' Tuesday, [[August 8]], [[2006]]
 
*'''3rd Airdate:''' Wednesday, [[August 30]], [[2006]]
 
'''[[Australia]]'''
 
*'''1st Airdate:''' Tuesday, [[August 8]], [[2006]]
 
  
{{Season 17}}
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=== The Neptune Upending ===
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[[File:The Neptune Upending.png|thumb|left|Homer shows off his great ass suction.]]
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On the cruise ship ''{{ap|Neptune|The Wettest Stories Ever Told}}'', [[Disco Stu]] introduces [[Captain Burns]] to the passengers. Captain Burns tells everyone how the ship is unflippable and tells everyone to relax and have fun. The Simpsons then go on stage to perform as they are the ship's band. During the song, a large wave hits the ''Neptune'' and causes it to flip. In the aftermath, hundreds of people are killed, leaving only a handful of survivors.
 +
 
 +
As the survivors make their way up the ship, they work together to keep each other safe, but still lose people along the way. They eventually make it to the bottom of the ship, which is now above the surface. A rescue crew then cuts through the hull and the survivors get out and onto the lifeboat. As they escape, the ''Bounty'' passes by. The crew had all become skeletons in the many years that had passed since the ''Bounty'' mutinied. Fletcher Christian asks them if they know where Tahiti is, but doesn't get an answer. The ''Bounty'' then sails off, still in search of Tahiti.
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== Production ==
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[[Dan Greaney]] was the person who pitched doing non-Halloween trilogy episodes.<ref name="Jean">{{Com|Jean, Al|The Wettest Stories Ever Told|Seventeenth|(2014).|link=Al Jean}}</ref> When the storyboards were sent to the writers, the ships in the first two segments looked almost identical. [[Jeff Westbrook]] then went on the Internet to get many pictures of ships to show to the animators for inspiration.<ref name="Westbrook">{{Com|Westbrook, Jeff|The Wettest Stories Ever Told|Seventeenth|(2014).|link=Jeff Westbrook}}</ref>
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== Reception ==
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As of December [[2021]], the episode has a 6.7 rating on {{W|IMDb}}.<ref>[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795278/ IMDb - "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"]</ref>
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== References ==
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{{Reflist}}
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{{Images|ep=yes}}
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{{season 17}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told, The}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told, The}}
[[Category: Season 17]]
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[[Category:Episodes]]
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[[Category:2006]]
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[[Category:Anthology episodes]]
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[[Category:Episodes written by Jeff Westbrook]]
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[[Category:Episodes directed by Mike B. Anderson]]
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[[sv:The Wettest Stories Ever Told]]

Latest revision as of 12:23, April 14, 2024

Season 17 Episode
373 "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"
374
"The Wettest Stories Ever Told"
"Girls Just Want to Have Sums" 375
"Until then, perhaps an old sea yarn may pass the time. Too bad I don't know any."
Captain McCallister
"The Wettest Stories Ever Told"
HABF11.png
Episode Information
Episode number: 374
Season number: S17 E18
Production code: HABF11
Original airdate: April 23, 2006
Couch gag: The Simpson's are in a puzzle. Homer inserts his head on Maggie's and vice versa, but quickly corrects it.
Showrunner: Al Jean
Written by: Jeff Westbrook
Directed by: Mike B. Anderson


"The Wettest Stories Ever Told" is the eighteenth episode of season 17 of The Simpsons and the three-hundred and seventy-fourth episode overall. It originally aired on April 23, 2006. The episode was written by Jeff Westbrook and directed by Mike B. Anderson.

Synopsis[edit]

"While waiting for the dinner at The Frying Dutchman, the family starts telling three stories about ships: "Mayflower Madman", "Stupidity on the Bounty", and "The Neptune Upending"."


Plot[edit]

Opening[edit]

The Simpsons are at The Frying Dutchman where they are waiting for a meal. Captain McCallister comes out to inform them that their meal will be late because the chef is having trouble with the day's special. Captain McCallister then suggests that an old sea yarn may pass the time, but then says that he doesn't know any. Lisa then offers to tell a story.

Mayflower Madman[edit]

Homer drunk steering the Mayflower.

At Plymouth Harbor in England, Marge, Bart, and Lisa go aboard the Mayflower to journey to the New World. As they are getting on board, Homer runs up to the ship and hides in a barrel as he is being chased by two Beefeaters. Marge and the kids offer to disguise him so that he can go on the journey with them. Homer is introduced to the ship's captain, Ned Flandish, and told that they are all Puritans. Homer is upset to learn that they don't drink booze. When Homer tries to make a move on Marge, Moezekiel tells Homer that he is engaged to Marge, although Marge denies it.

During the voyage, Homer thinks that Moezekiel will marry Marge instead of him. Homer then strangles Bart for a comment that Bart made, which impresses Marge as her ex-husband used to strangle Bart in the same way. Homer and Marge then grow closer on the journey. Moezekiel gets jealous of how close the two of them are getting, so he comes up with a plan to make Marge hate Homer. Moezekiel shows Homer where the booze is stored and pours Homer a drink. Homer then quickly corrupts the crew, who are then discovered by Moezekiel, Captain Flandish, Reverend Lovejoy, and Marge. Homer is put into the stocks for his crimes and Marge is disappointed in him. At that point, a large wave hits the ship and causes Captain Flandish to bang his head, knocking him unconscious. Homer offers to steer the ship whilst drunk, as nobody else could do it. Homer then successfully got the Mayflower to the new world.

A year later, the Puritans thank the natives for their help settling in. Flandish then says that it makes him feel bad that the Europeans will eventually wipe them out and steal all their land, which scares Great Chief Wig-Gum.

After Lisa finishes her story, Homer says that he has a story. Marge tells Homer to wait for the third story and says that Bart can go next, as the middle story is usually the worst. Bart then goes on to tell his story.

Stupidity on the Bounty[edit]

The crew of the Bounty mutiny against Bligh.

In England, the Bounty gets ready to set sail. Fletcher Christian tells his captain, William Bligh, that Admiral Nelson is trying to send them a message. Bligh looks through and sees Nelson share the message "Bligh eats dolphin boogers". The ship then sets sail. Seven hundred and eighteen days later, the ship starts to run low on fresh water, so Bligh tells the crew that they're now forbidden from drinking water. He then has Willie throw all their mail from home overboard as someone had drawn a sketch of Bligh making out with a merman. The crew start to get annoyed at Bligh and Willie warns him that there could be a mutiny. However, Bligh shrugs it off.

The Bounty stops at Tahiti to restock and let the crew rest. All the crew have a really good time at Tahiti and are disappointed when they have to leave. Bligh then orders the crew to forget Tahiti and then orders them to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" as a round. The crew quickly gets sick of this and decides to mutiny and go back to Tahiti. After Bligh and Willie are thrown off into a rowboat, Willie also decides to kick Bligh off, who is then dragged under sea by a turtle. Christian becomes the new captain and decides to get rid of the ship's steering wheel as it is "evidence of the previous regime". This causes the crew to lose control of the ship and they end up at Antarctica.

After Bart finishes his story, Captain McCallister still hasn't returned as he is out playing basketball. Homer then goes on to tell his story.

The Neptune Upending[edit]

Homer shows off his great ass suction.

On the cruise ship Neptune, Disco Stu introduces Captain Burns to the passengers. Captain Burns tells everyone how the ship is unflippable and tells everyone to relax and have fun. The Simpsons then go on stage to perform as they are the ship's band. During the song, a large wave hits the Neptune and causes it to flip. In the aftermath, hundreds of people are killed, leaving only a handful of survivors.

As the survivors make their way up the ship, they work together to keep each other safe, but still lose people along the way. They eventually make it to the bottom of the ship, which is now above the surface. A rescue crew then cuts through the hull and the survivors get out and onto the lifeboat. As they escape, the Bounty passes by. The crew had all become skeletons in the many years that had passed since the Bounty mutinied. Fletcher Christian asks them if they know where Tahiti is, but doesn't get an answer. The Bounty then sails off, still in search of Tahiti.

Production[edit]

Dan Greaney was the person who pitched doing non-Halloween trilogy episodes.[1] When the storyboards were sent to the writers, the ships in the first two segments looked almost identical. Jeff Westbrook then went on the Internet to get many pictures of ships to show to the animators for inspiration.[2]

Reception[edit]

As of December 2021, the episode has a 6.7 rating on IMDb.[3]

References[edit]


The Saga of Carl - title screen.png Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to "The Wettest Stories Ever Told".
Season 17 Episodes
The Bonfire of the Manatees The Girl Who Slept Too Little Milhouse of Sand and Fog Treehouse of Horror XVI Marge's Son Poisoning See Homer Run The Last of the Red Hat Mamas The Italian Bob Simpsons Christmas Stories Homer's Paternity Coot We're on the Road to D'ohwhere My Fair Laddy The Seemingly Never-Ending Story Bart Has Two Mommies Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife Million-Dollar Abie Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore The Wettest Stories Ever Told Girls Just Want to Have Sums Regarding Margie The Monkey Suit Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play