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Springfield Shopper

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Revision as of 11:02, December 12, 2008 by 193.190.172.174 (talk) (Headlines)
Springfield Shopper
Newspaper Information
Type: Daily Local Newspaper
Founded: 1883 by Johnny Newspaperseed



The Springfield Shopper is the most commonly recurring local newspaper in Springfield. It's appeared for the first time in Homer's Odyssey.

Features

It carries opinion, sports, food, world, arts, religion and leisure sections. It tends towards tabloid stories, with such headlines as 'Woman Weds Ape', 'Hippo promoted to detective' and 'Crazed Mom Goes Topless (Photos Pages 3-28)'.

Orgin

It was founded in the early 1900s by Johnny Newspaperseed, a small boy who travelled America founding newspapers. The Shopper merged with the Springfield Times, Post, Globe, Herald, Jewish News, and Hot Sex Weekly.

Price

The cost of the newspaper tends to vary between nothing and $1.00, with the average price being 25¢.

Homer the Food Critic

Homer Simpson has worked for the newspaper as a food critic. After initially being too kind (giving a slice of pizza he found under the sofa at least 8 out of 10, deducting a point for having a Hot Wheels car stuck on it), he switched to becoming a cruel critic, and was almost murdered by a disgruntled baker with a poisoned éclair.

Owner

The newspaper was also bought briefly by Montgomery Burns, who was on a mission to control all the media of Springfield, and by the The Movementarians, an evil cult who were attempting to brainwash all Springfieldians.

Jokes

The lower headline will generally be a joke either about the upper headlines, or about journalism in general ("Second headline less important, studies show").

Clone

In one episode, it is revealed that Shelbyville has a newspaper called The Shelbyville Daily, whose slogan is "Once a week, every week".

Fake Headlines

In the episode where Homer goes to live in an apartment with two gay men, one of them is seen reading New York Times. Homer is surprised and asks why is he reading the NYT even though he doesn't live in New York. He replies its because all the headlines are a joke in the Springfield Shopper.

Real Life

An 8-paged Springfield Shopper has been published, written by Simpsons creator Matt Groening himself. It was found inside a newspaper as an feature to advertise The Simpsons Movie.

Headlines

  • Simpson Says Safe!
  • Dozens Cheer Homer Simpson
  • Homer Simpson Strikes Again!
  • Watch Out, Here Comes Homer
  • Enough Already Homer Simpson!
  • Mutation Caught at Ol' Fishin' Hole; Is Power Plant Responsible? Boy Was Using Five Pound Test And Ordinary Worms; Sister Was Just There For The Tranquility (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Vandal Decapitates Town Statue; Who is El Barto; Police Puzzled
  • Fishin' Hole or Fisson Hole?;Burns Denies Responsibility in Fish Flap;Count The Eyes,Mr Burns! (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Governer Calls for Power Plant Ivestigation (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Burns Enters Gubernatorial Race; 3 Eyed Fish in Every Pot? (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Burns Skyrockets to Seven Percent in Latest Polls (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Burns Band Wagon Rolls On; Latest Poll Puts Him at 22 Percent (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Burns Nukes Bailey in Latest Poll; Forty-Two Percent And Climbing (Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)
  • Art Treasure to Visit Springfield; Michelangelo's David in 1958
  • Burns Fires Ungrateful Employee (Bart Gets Hit by a Car)
  • Another Smart Move by Burns (Bart Gets Hit by a Car)
  • Hooray for Burns (Bart Gets Hit by a Car)
  • Never To Busy (Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington)
  • President Declares World Peace (When Flanders Failed)
  • President Homer Declares World Peace (When Flanders Failed)
  • President Simpson Wins Super Bowl (When Flanders Failed)
  • Principal Skinner Missing: Police Search for Body (Bart the Murderer)
  • Psychic Joins Skinner Hunt (Bart the Murderer)
  • Principal Murder Trail Begins Today (Bart the Murderer)
  • Sentencing Today For Dinky Don (Bart the Murderer)
  • World Peace Declared (Treehouse of Horror II)
  • Monster Okay Slavery Plan (Treehouse of Horror II)
  • Wizard of Walnut Street (Flaming Moe's)
  • Squirrel Resembling Abraham Lincoln Found (Radio Bart)
  • Lottery Drawing Today; President, Rock Star to Swap Wives (Dog of Death)
  • Lisa Kicks Butt (Lisa the Beauty Queen)
  • Queen to Mayor: You're Next; Nerds Pummeled in Football (Lisa the Beauty Queen)
  • Womans Weds Ape; Dick Cavett Born (Treehouse of Horror III)
  • Mondale to Hart: Where's the Beef (Lisa's First Word)
  • Burns Pay City 3 Mil! (Marge vs. the Monorail)
  • Who is Gabbo? (Krusty Gets Cancelled)
  • Five Days til Gabbo? (Krusty Gets Cancelled)
  • Gabbo Here Today (Krusty Gets Cancelled)
  • Quimby Re-elected by Landside; Two More Bodies Surface in Springfield Hsrbour (Krusty Gets Cancelled)
  • Gabbo Still #1 in Springfield; Brockman Fired (Krusty Gets Cancelled)
  • Krusty Special Airs Today; Gabbo to Have Real Boy Operation (Krusty Gets Cancelled)
  • Burns' Birthday Today; Credits Long Life to Satan (Rosebud)
  • Cat Burglar Strikes 15 Homes; Man Marries Woman in Wedding Ceremony (Homer the Vigilante)
  • Burglar Strike Again; Is Nothing Safe? (Homer the Vigilante)
  • Zirconia Ztolen!!!; Simpson Asleep at Switch (Homer the Vigilante)
  • Local Gays Show Their Pride (Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy)
  • Big Fat Man Has Big Fat Heart; Little Thin Man Accused in Robbery (Homer Loves Flanders)
  • Quimby Nephew Charged in Beating; Chowder said Wrong (The Boy Who Knew Too Much)
  • Bob Pardon #1 Local Issue; Edges Out No Fat Chicks Ordinance (Sideshow Bob Roberts)
  • Call For Probe in Bob Flap; Editorial: Why Not Let Dead Pets Vote? (Sideshow Bob Roberts)
  • Prez Sez: School is For Losers (Bart's Comet)
  • Boy Discovers Comet (Bart's Comet)
  • Rocket to Kick Comet's Tail; Mayor Visits City (Bart's Comet)
  • Incontinent Old Man Wins Miss Teen America (A Star Is Burns)
  • Awful School is Awful Rich (Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One))
  • Burns Plans Sunshine Halt; Special Edition: your Guide to Perpetual Darkness (Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One))
  • Who Will Be Fallout Boy? Who Will Be Fallout Boy? (Radioactive Man)
  • Milhouse Disappears; Movie Om Hold (Radioactive Man)
  • Spinning Newspaper Injures Printer (Radioactive Man)
  • Snow Storm Hits the Midwest
  • Micheal Jackson Hoax; Everyone Mad at Local Boy
  • You Need a Heart to Live
  • KBBL Cheats Straight A Student
  • Toddlers Topple Mayor; Expressway Halt Rankles Elderly
  • Incontinent Old Man Wins Miss Teen America
  • America Loves Ted Kennedy
  • Burns Survives Brush with Shut In
  • Local Man Loses Pants, Life; Beaver Rescue Falls Short (Mother Simpson)
  • Parade to Ditract Joyless Citizenry (Lisa the Iconoclast)
  • Bum Sues Cartoon King; Got Legal Fee From Some Family (The Day the Violence Died)
  • Troy Weds (A Fish Called Selma)
  • Helms Calls for Donut Tax; Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead
  • Quimy's Proposition 24 on Ballot, Quimby Propositions 24 at Ballet (Much Apu About Nothing)
  • Police Prepare for Deportations; Bear Patrol Steps up Bombing Campaign (Much Apu About Nothing)
  • Supervillian Seizes the East Coast
  • Kickin' Buck; Fifty Ways to Waste Your Weekend
  • Human Blimp sees Flying Saucer
  • Champ to Whale on Local Man
  • Funny Dog to Make Life Worth While
  • Maniac to Live at Brother's Apartment
  • Alcohol Prohibited in Springfield; Bums Extend Deadline
  • City Goes Dry Today Bums Extend Deadline
  • Banner Bars Booze; Booze Barred by Banner
  • Beer Baron Beats Banner; Family Sedan Outruns Cops
  • Burns to Open Recycling Plant; Makes Other Bums Look Bad
  • Neutron Bomb Headed for Springfield - Hippo Promoted to Detective
  • Gruesome murders at Socialite's House; Mrs. Astor Safe
  • New Face in Trash Race - Local Nut at it Again
  • Simpson wins in landslide; Says "Crazy Promises" the Key
  • Dog kills cat, Self
  • Local couple Bares all; Police Dog clings to life
  • Springfield Shopper Purchased by Evil Cult; Check Out Our New Adult Lifestyle Section
  • It's War
  • Tax Hire Approved
  • Town Prepares for Olympics; Pickpockets Call Up Reserves
  • Unusually Large, Ugly Baby Born
  • Nahasapeemapetilan-tastic!
  • Lisa Alive! Hemp City reduced to Stems and Seeds
  • Web Snoops Discovers Pool Hustle
  • Food Supply Cut Short Off - Even Pies
  • First Day of Spring - Ants, Picnicjers, Reach Last-Minute Accord
  • Pair Sinks Judge's House Quilt Ruined
  • Simpsons Arrested in Family Riot - Even Maggie
  • Sleep Important, Say Experts - Slow News Day Grips Springfield
  • Medical Marijuana Outlawed
  • HO. J. SIMPSONS Trial Starts Today
  • Heat Wave Continues
  • Crazed Mom Goes Topless Photos Pages 3-28 TV Clown Saves Day
  • Teahcer Nominated for Award: Will She Leave Old Life Behind? Closed Pistachio Stymies Fatso
  • Drunk Cop Fired From Force; Private Eye Wins Bake-Off
  • Lonley Men Die Early
  • Bumb,evee Man Caught in Sting
  • LIFEWAYS Weekend Edition: Ale of the Pup
  • Cavalry Kids Lead Charge in Cleanup; President Shoots Wife
  • Baby Saved by Local Hero, Not Father; Man's Dress Slacks At Low Prices! Costington's
  • Mayor Unveils Erection to Cheering Crowd
  • Peace Talks Break Down
  • Iowa Home to Worlds Biggest Pizza
  • "Families Come First" On Ballet - Second Headline Less Important, Studies Show
  • "Families Come First" Wrong for Springfield
  • Costs Too Much, Does Too Little
  • Simpsons Found Guilty, Sentenced to 10 Tears Local Bully to Homer "Haw Haw"
  • U-ASS-A
  • Beloved Hero Cheats Death
  • Lisa's a Total Whacko,Implies Father
  • Lisa Loves Milhouse
  • Father of Eight Missing
  • Triple Murder at Moe's
  • Massachusetts Okays Gay Marriage
  • Wiggum Sleeps Through Riot

Stem Cells Cure Alzheimers

  • Top Cops Surrenders to Backfiring Car
  • Firemen Rescue Police Cheif From Tree
  • Commision: Wiggums Sucks
  • Hail Drought Continues Tin Roofs Undented
  • Wiggum Rescues Boy No, Really
  • God Steals Sun - Mayor Offers Sacrifices
  • Local Father,Son May Switch Religions
  • L'il Starmaker Fever Sweeps Springfield!
  • 10-Year-Old Boy Disqualified - Is Actually Paul Simon
  • L'il Starmaker Down To Three Finalists
  • Couch Gag Thrills Nation
  • Old Man Beats Meat
  • Local Man Thinks Wrestling is Real
  • Bulls Hospitalized: Nerds, Dorks Cautiously Rejoice
  • Broadcast Fools Nation, Springfield
  • Today We Remember Martin Luther King - Tommorow We Don't
  • Christmas Occurs (The Saga of Carl - title screen.png Episode – "Treehouse of Horror XIX" )