Simpson/Sideshow Sibling Smackdown/Quotes
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- New kid: It's my first day. Who's this Bart kid?
- Martin Prince: Oh, everyone knows Bart. He's the impish terror of teachers everywhere.
- Lisa: And I'm Lisa. I'm on the honor roll, the yearbook committee, and--
- Martin: She's Bart's sister.
- New kid: It must be great having such a cool brother!
- New prisoner: I'm new. Who's that?
- Snake Jailbird: Dude, that#s homicidal genius, Sideshow Bob.
- Cecil Terwilliger: I'm a homicidal genius, too. I almost flooded the entire town once!
- Snake: Bob's his brother.
- New prisoner: Wow! It's like you're Tito Jackson.
- Cecil: Excuse me. What about my parole hearing? When do I get one?
- Chief Wiggum: And you are?
- Cecil: Cecil Terwilliger.
- Chief Wiggum: Cecil... Cecile... Nope, looks like we never got around to processing you.
- Cecil: What?
- Chief Wiggum: Well, it was a busy day. We were booking that notorious criminal mastermind, Sideshow Bob.
- Cecil: What does this mean?
- Chief Wiggum: You're free to go, I guess. Oh, and since you weren't a prisoner you owe us a year's rent.
- Marge: We thought Bart was going to say something. Something about having Principal Skinner's mom arrested by the United Nations for crimes against humanity?
- Bart: She was cleared of all charges eventually. And she got a trip to Geneva. But you're right. I'm sorry. I learned my lesson, and I'll never do it again. I'll apologize to her tomorrow.
- Homer: Marge! The mail's here.
- Marge: So pick it up.
- Homer: Aaaw! But there's bending involved.
- Marge: If you two can't share, then nobody gets the death threat!
- Miss Hoover: Lisa, stop that fingering! It's distracting!
- Ralph Wiggum: Ms. Hoover, is Lisa crazy?
- Miss Hoover: Possibly, Ralph, but like I told you when the rabid squirrel came in the window, they don't pay me enough to care.
- Radio host: We interrupt this day-long moment of silence for a list of the schools that will be permanently closed as of tomorrow. Lisa Simpson's school. That is all.
- Chief Wiggum: Freeze, Cecil B. De-Busted!
- Eddie: Man, good one Chief.
- Chief Wiggum: Thanks, Eddie! I thought of it in the car on the way over. It wasn't too much?
