Oh, Streetcar!

Oh, Streetcar! is a musical version of Tennessee Williams' play A Streetcar Named Desire. Several cast members of the town of Springfield put it on in the episode A Streetcar Named Marge. The songs for the show were composed by Alf Clausen and written by Jeff Martin. The song "New Orleans" gained a lot of controversy because of its lyrics portraying the city in a bad light. In response, in the following episode, Bart wrote on the chalkboard, "I will not defame New Orleans" as an apology.

The Cast

• Chief Clancy Wiggum - Narrator
• Marge Simpson - Blanche DuBois
• Apu Nahasapeemapetilon - The Young Collector
• Ned Flanders - Stanley Kowalski

Songs

Intro

Llewellyn Sinclair:

Perhaps we're all a little mad, even gone the cap and bells and tread beneath the proscenium arch. But tonight, you will all be transformed from dead-eyed suburbanites into white hot grease fires of pure entertainment!!! Except you, you're not working out, I'll be playing your part.

Otto Mann:

Drag.

Long Before the Superdome

Chief Wiggum:

Long before the Superdome,

Where the Saints of football play,

Lived a city that the damned call home.

Hear their hellish roundelay...

New Orleans

Ensemble:

New Or-le-ans,

Home of pirates, drunks, and whores,

New Or-le-ans,

Tacky overpriced souvenir stores.

If you want to go to Hell, you should take a trip

To the Sodom and Gomorra on the Mississip.

New Or-le-ans,

Stinky, rotten, vomiting, vile,

New Or-le-ans,

Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul.

New Or-le-ans,

Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank,

New Or-le-ans.

I Though My Life Would Be a Mardi Gras

Woman:

What's the matter, honey, are you lost?

Marge:

I'm lookin' for ma sister, Stella.

Lisa:

It's mom!

Homer:

Huh?

Marge:

Ma name is Blanche DuBois.

I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras,

A neverending party...

Ha!

I'm a faded southern dame

Without a dime.

I am Just a Simple Paper Boy

Apu:

I'm collecting for The Evening Star.

Marge:

Come here, I wanna kiss you just once, softly and sweetly on your mouth.

Apu:

I am just a simple paper boy,

No romance do I seek.

I just wanted forty cents

For my deliveries last week.

Will this bewitching floozy

Seduce this humble newsie?

Oh, what's a a paper to...do?

(she kisses him)

Woo-hoo!

Stella!

Ned Flanders:

STELLA!!!

STELLA!!!

Can't you hear me yell-a?

You're puttin' me through Hell-a?

Stella, STELLA!!!!

She Flies

(instrumental)

The Kindness of Strangers

Marge:

Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Ensemble:

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers

To pluck up your spirits and shield you from dangers.

Marge:

Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.

Cast:

A stranger's just a friend you haven't met!

You haven't met!

STREETCAR!