Smart and Smarter/Quotes

Quotes

Lisa: I'm tired. I'm hungry. Red plastic sandals are not good running-away footwear.

Lisa: Just because Maggie can't talk doesn't mean she's dumb. Einstein didn't speak until he was 3.

Marge: And even then he could only speak German.

Lisa: I can't believe I'm jealous of a baby!

Bart: Hey, so am I! When you're a baby, you can just spend all day rolling around on the floor. (sighs) I miss those days.

Nelson: Then roll, baby! (Bart rolls on the bus floor) Ha Ha! Floor Baby!

Lisa: You're laughing at him for something you made him do.

Nelson: Well… you're gay!

Lisa: People who call other people gay are often covering up their own latent homosexuality.

(Nelson panics and jumps out the emergency exit; he rolls and then gets back up)

Nelson: BULLIES RULE!

Little Boy: The pig says, "oink!" The chicken says..

Henry: Stop! I could go to any Chuck E' Cheese in America if I want to hear what animals say. You know what I say? I say next!

(The mother picks up the little boy and walks away)

Little Boy: You're a poopie!

Henry [to the mother]: Do you nurse with that mouth?

Homer: Look what they sent over. A talking dealy. His name is Phonics Frog. (presses A, B, and C)

Phonics Frog: Ah-Buh-Cuh…

(Homer types his name)

Phonics Frog: Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur

Homer: That's me! Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur. (presses more buttons)

Phonics Frog: This-Is-Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur-Dok-tor-Hee's-too-sick-too-urk-too-day.

(Homer laughs)

Homer: Uh… I'll be right back. (runs to the phone)

Pimply Teen [to Comic Book Guy]: Sir, you can't take food into the theater.

Comic Book Guy: Search all you want. You'll never find it all. I'm baking muffins as we speak.

(Lisa tries to be a stand-up comedian)

Lisa: So... why do they call them field trips? We never go to a field!

Principal Skinner: Not true! Last week we went to a battlefield.

Ralph: I'm bembarrassed for you!

Nelson: The following "Ha Ha" is not from amusement, but a sign of contempt. Ha Ha!

Lisa: So Maggie's NOT a genius?

Henry: Oh, she could be… at sweeping up hair!

Homer: That's my baby, jerk! (punches Henry leaving him with a bruise on his nose)

Henry: You call that a punch? I felt it, but it was like "so what"? (Homer punches Henry again leaving a nosebleed) Oh, again with the nose. I have a chin too, you know!(Homer punches Henry making him unconscious)

Moe: (as the butler) Don't worry sir, the maid and I will take him out to the curb. Come on!

Barney: (as the maid) You promised me no one would get hurt!

[When Lisa is dressed up as a goth]

Milhouse: What are you now, Lisa? An Oakland Raiders fan?

Homer: We've all learned something today. Never be something you're not, namely food.

Simon Cowell: (after seeing his name in the ending credits) Now, there's a celebrity!

Simon Cowell [when the "Gracie Films" woman shushes]: Oh, shhh yourself!

Simon Cowell: She's as common as an angry woman in an Ibsen play.

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