Brave Bart
Brave Bart
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Comic Information
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Brave Bart is a Simpsons Winter Wingding story that appears in The Simpsons Winter Wingding #2. The comic was later reprinted in The Simpsons: Homer For the Holidays and The Simpsons Annual 2010.
Synopsis
Bart's new snow fort draws the attention (and snowballs) of the school bullies.
Plot
The scene is the front yard of the Simpson home. Martin and Milhouse are putting the finishing touches on a snow fort while Bart supervises the construction. Bart announces that the fort's name is "Fort Bart", and Milhouse asks why Bart should get to name the fort when he and Martin built it. Bart counters by saying that naming things is also work. Martin suggests that they compromise and go with his original name, "Fort Chione", after the Greek nymph who created snow. Bart quickly pooh-poohs the idea: "No more nymph names!" The naming discussion is interrupted, however, by a snowball flying through the air and hitting Milhouse in the head.
Bart looks around and sees Kearney, Jimbo, Dolph and Nelson in the yard holding snowballs. Kearney says, "Time to eat your snow!" and Jimbo adds that they have "both flavors", white and yellow. Bart hollers at Martin and Milhouse to take cover. They do so, diving into the fort in the nick of time just as the bullies start throwing snowballs.
As the bullies' barrage continues (with Snowball V being pressed into service as ammo), the trio take stock of their situation. Martin says they're doomed because they're outnumbered, and Milhouse admits he forgot to build the snow cannon. Bart concedes that they're outnumbered and outgunned, but the fort gives them a tactical advantage, "So on paper, we're totally kicking butt."
The trio next discuss their options. Martin suggests they surrender to the bullies: "Maybe they'll have mercy and make their wedgies quick." Milhouse suggests they run away. Bart contradicts them both and says they're going to attack. He then delivers a rousing "rally-the-troops" speech (a. la. William Wallace in Braveheart), where he tells them that if they fight, they may end up eating snow, and if they run away, they may not eat snow for a while. But if they run, they're going to want to come back to this day and tell the bullies that "You may make us eat snow, but you will never make us eat our freedom!"
Milhouse tells Bart that he's talking crazy. Bart, unhearing, takes the initiative and leads a charge toward the bullies, but after a couple of steps he realizes that the charge is a one-man effort as Martin, Milhouse and Snowball V are making a run for the house.
The scene shifts to a large snowman in the yard. Bart has been stuffed head-first into the base of the snowman and the victorious bullies are walking away. Meanwhile, Milhouse and Martin are in the Simpsons' kitchen where Marge is serving them cookies and hot chocolate. Milhouse comments, "Bart's a military genius! He's eating snow, just like he predicted!" Martin adds, "And we're eating warm, chewy freedom!"
