Brave Bart/Quotes

Quotes

[in the front yard of the Simpson home, Martin and Milhouse are putting the finishing touches on a snow fort while Bart supervises the construction.]

Bart: Gentlemen, I give you Fort Bart!

Milhouse Van Houten: Why do you get to name it? We built it.

Bart: Naming stuff is work, too, y'know.

Martin Prince: May I suggest a compromise? Let's go with my original name, Fort Chione, after the goddess and nymph who created snow!

Bart: [annoyed] For the last time, no more nymph names!

[the discussion is interrupted by a snowball flying through the air and hitting Milhouse in the head.]

Milhouse: Ow!

[Bart looks around and sees the four school bullies in the yard, each holding a big snowball.]

Kearney Zzyzwicz: Hey, snow babies! Time to eat your snow!

Jimbo Jones: Yeah, we've got both flavors! White and yellow!

Bart: [to Martin and Milhouse] Take cover!

[the trio dive for cover inside the fort in the nick of time, just as the bullies throw their snowballs.]

Martin: We're outnumbered! We're doomed!

Bart: Keep it together, Martin! Milhouse, did you remember to build the snow cannon?

Milhouse: Uh, I forgot.

[the bullies' barrage of snowballs continues, with Snowball II being pressed into service as ammo. Martin, Bart and Milhouse stay under cover.]

Bart: Okay, we're outnumbered and outgunned, but with this fort, we're tactically superior. So on paper, we're totally kicking butt.

Martin: I say we surrender. Maybe they'll have mercy and make their wedgies quick.

Milhouse: Let's run for it.

Bart: No! I've got it! We'll attack!

[Bart stands up inside the fort.]

Bart: I am Bart Simpson. And I see a whole army of my friends here to fight bullies as free men! Fight, and we may eat snow. Run, and we may not eat snow for a while. But lying in your bed days from now, you'll willingly trade all those days to come back here and tell those bullies, "You may make us eat snow, but you will never make us eat our freedom!"

Milhouse: Bart! You're talking crazy!

[Bart steps out from the fort's cover and runs toward the bullies.]

Bart: Uh, guys? The charge is starting. Guys?

[Bart looks behind him and sees Martin, Milhouse and Snowball II running to the house.]

[the scene shifts to a large snowman in the yard. Bart has been stuffed head-first into the base of the snowman and the victorious bullies are walking away.]

Jimbo: [sarcastically] Way to lead a rebellion, Simpson!

Nelson Muntz: Yeah, but you have to admit, his plan was tactically sound.

[meanwhile, in the kitchen of the Simpson home, Marge is serving cookies and hot chocolate to Milhouse and Martin.]

Milhouse: Bart's a military genius! He's eating snow, just like he predicted!

Martin: And we're eating warm, chewy freedom!