Difference between revisions of "The Parent Rap/Quotes"
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| − | :'''Homer''': Hey, knock it off! These pants cost $600. | + | :'''Homer''': "Hey, knock it off! These pants cost $600." |
| − | :'''Moe''': Really? | + | :'''Moe''': "Really?" |
| − | :'''Homer''': Yeah, they're Italian. | + | :'''Homer''': "Yeah, they're Italian." |
| − | :'''Moe''': | + | :'''[[Moe]]''': ''[Points a gun at Homer]'' "All right, hand 'em over." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Moe, what the-- | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Moe, what the--" |
| − | :'''Moe''': Yeah, I rob now. | + | :'''Moe''': "Yeah, I rob now." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Homer''': Say, is that our house | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Say, is that our house?" |
| − | :'''Bart''': I don't think our house has a steeple. | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "I don't think our house has a steeple." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes. | + | :'''Homer''': "Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Grand theft auto! | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "Grand theft auto?!" |
| − | :'''Bart''': It was an accident, ma'am! | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "It was an accident, ma'am!" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it’s frosting! | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it’s frosting!" |
| − | :'''Homer''': | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': ''[Angrily]'' "What did she say about cupcakes?" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Bart''': You there! Put your hands up! | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "You there! Put your hands up!" |
| − | :'''Ned''': Me? Okay. | + | :'''[[Ned]]''': "Me? Okay." |
| − | :'''Bart''': Now, drop your pants! | + | :'''Bart''': "Now, drop your pants!" |
| − | :'''Ned''': But my hands are up | + | :'''Ned''': "But my hands are up." |
| − | :'''Bart''': Hula out of them! | + | :'''Bart''': "Hula out of them!" |
| − | :'''Ned''': Alright, officer. | + | :'''Ned''': "Alright, officer." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Well, I thought Dad was the probelm, but apparently Mom is no prize pig herself. It's a miracle poor Bartholomew isn't robbing banks and chasing sweet Lady H. | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "Well, I thought Dad was the probelm, but apparently Mom is no prize pig herself. It's a miracle poor Bartholomew isn't robbing banks and chasing sweet Lady H." |
| − | :'''Bart''': I'm a latchkey kid. | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "I'm a latchkey kid." |
| − | :'''Lisa''': You are not! | + | :'''[[Lisa]]''': "You are not!" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Bart''': Come on, Dad. I got to go to the bathroom. | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "Come on, Dad. I got to go to the bathroom." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Oh, I just got comfortable! Use the bottle. | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Oh, I just got comfortable! Use the bottle." |
| − | :'''Marge''': No | + | :'''[[Marge]]''': "No! I don't want you going in a bottle. That's what hobos do!" |
| − | :'''Bart''': Come on, Homer! | + | :'''Bart''': "Come on, Homer!" |
| − | :'''Homer''': No! | + | :'''Homer''': "No!" |
| − | :'''Bart''': Mom! | + | :'''Bart''': "Mom!" |
| − | :'''Marge''': Aw geez, Homer, just take him to the bathroom | + | :'''Marge''': "Aw geez, Homer, just take him to the bathroom!" |
| − | :'''Homer''': Fine! I don't know why we even have a bottle! Somebody tell me! | + | :'''Homer''': "Fine! I don't know why we even have a bottle! Somebody tell me!" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Bart''': The town keeps getting bigger. Will there always be enough electricity? | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "The town keeps getting bigger. Will there always be enough electricity?" |
| − | :'''Homer''': | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': ''[Laughs]'' "Ah, son, you know that's none of your business." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Officer''': Sir, you are not a size 4. | + | :'''Officer''': "Sir, you are not a size 4." |
| − | :'''Homer''': I used to be! | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "I used to be!" ''[Starts crying]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': You have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision! | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "You have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision!" |
| − | :'''Homer''': I couldn't agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair? | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "I couldn't agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair?" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Sorry, bub, that crow won't caw. | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "Sorry, bub, that crow won't caw." |
| − | :'''Homer''': It won't? | + | :'''Homer''': "It won't?" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Homer''': I love our court days. | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "I love our court days." |
| − | :'''Marge''': It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore. | + | :'''[[Marge]]''': "It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Milhouse''': If we're late for school, we'll miss our free federal breakfast. | + | :'''[[Milhouse]]''': "If we're late for school, we'll miss our free federal breakfast." |
| − | :'''Bart''': Big deal | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "Big deal! It's just saltines and fig paste." |
| − | :'''Milhouse''': | + | :'''Milhouse''': "Ewww! Saltines!" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': ''[to Bart]'' "According to this, your father was driving you to school. Then where was he when you stole the police car?" |
| − | :'''Homer''': Uh, your honor? I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Price Patrol. | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Uh, your honor? I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Price Patrol." |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': You abandoned your son to win forty dollars!? | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "You abandoned your son to win forty dollars!?" |
| − | :'''Homer''': And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion | + | :'''Homer''': "And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion ''[Takes out the medallion]'' Cool." |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': And that was more important than keeping your son out of trouble? | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "And that was more important than keeping your son out of trouble?" |
| − | :'''Homer''': Your honor, if I may sing a little bit of, "Don't Fear The Reaper", I think you'll agree that-- | + | :'''Homer''': "Your honor, if I may sing a little bit of, "Don't Fear The Reaper", I think you'll agree that--" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': I'm familiar with B.O.C.! | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "I'm familiar with B.O.C.!" |
---- | ---- | ||
(Homer, tethered to Bart, enters Moe's.) | (Homer, tethered to Bart, enters Moe's.) | ||
| − | :'''Moe''': Hey | + | :'''[[Moe]]''': "Hey, no kids in the bar." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Since when? | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Since when?" |
| − | :'''Moe''': Oh, the heat's been on since them Bush girls were in here. | + | :'''Moe''': "Oh, the heat's been on since them Bush girls were in here." |
---- | ---- | ||
(Lisa comments on Homer being tethered to Bart.) | (Lisa comments on Homer being tethered to Bart.) | ||
| − | :'''Lisa''': Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our | + | :'''[[Lisa]]''': "Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our mailman." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Not only that, you are horrible parents, you're also violent criminals. I'm going to have you two locked up 'til frogs do fractions. | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "Not only that, you are horrible parents, you're also violent criminals. I'm going to have you two locked up 'til frogs do fractions." |
| − | :'''Bart''': Your Honor, may I say something? | + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "Your Honor, may I say something?" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Well, it is highly unorthodox | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "Well, it is highly unorthodox... so no!" |
| − | :'''Bart''': Please, your Honor? | + | :'''Bart''': "Please, your Honor?" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind of me when I was a little boy. | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me when I was a little boy." |
| − | :'''Bart''': Your Honor, it's not easy being my parents. I'm always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway decent person, I know it will be because of my Mom and Dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will. | + | :'''Bart''': "Your Honor, it's not easy being my parents. I'm always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway decent person, I know it will be because of my Mom and Dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will." |
| − | :'''Lisa''': Thats my brother. | + | :'''[[Lisa]]''': ''[proudly]'' "Thats my brother." |
| − | :'''Snake''': | + | :'''[[Snake]]''': "Um, did she just say she used to be a dude?" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Kirk Van Houten''': Judge, please don't send my boy to juvie. He's just weak, both morally and in the upper body. | + | :'''[[Kirk Van Houten]]''': "Judge, please don't send my boy to juvie. He's just weak, both morally and in the upper body." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': I hereby order you to be tethered to your son. | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "I hereby order you to be tethered to your son." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Tethered? | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Tethered?" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Tethered. Report to room 5. | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "Tethered. Report to room 5." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Room 5? | + | :'''Homer''': "Room 5?" |
---- | ---- | ||
(Marge has cut the tether and triggered the alarm and Judge Harm's image appears out of the tether.) | (Marge has cut the tether and triggered the alarm and Judge Harm's image appears out of the tether.) | ||
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': That's right it's me, Judge Harm, through the magic of fiber optics. | + | :'''[[Judge Harm]]''': "That's right it's me, Judge Harm, through the magic of fiber optics." |
| − | :'''Homer''': Hey, hey, hey, h-how about that? Huh, huh? | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Hey, hey, hey, h-how about that? Huh, huh?" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Quiet, tubsy. You violated my order. | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "Quiet, tubsy. You violated my order." |
| − | :'''Homer''': But Constance, it only happened because-- | + | :'''Homer''': "But Constance, it only happened because--" |
| − | :'''Judge Harm''': Hey, hey, if I want a cock and bull story, I'll read Hemingway. | + | :'''Judge Harm''': "Hey, hey, if I want a cock and bull story, I'll read Hemingway." |
---- | ---- | ||
(Watching Judge Harm on television.) | (Watching Judge Harm on television.) | ||
| − | :'''Marge''': Of course she's never had children, look at how high and firm her breasts are! | + | :'''[[Marge]]''': "Of course she's never had children, look at how high and firm her breasts are!" |
{{Season 13 Q}} | {{Season 13 Q}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Parent Rap/Quotes}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Parent Rap/Quotes}} | ||
Revision as of 12:27, July 21, 2011
- Homer: "Hey, knock it off! These pants cost $600."
- Moe: "Really?"
- Homer: "Yeah, they're Italian."
- Moe: [Points a gun at Homer] "All right, hand 'em over."
- Homer: "Moe, what the--"
- Moe: "Yeah, I rob now."
- Homer: "Say, is that our house?"
- Bart: "I don't think our house has a steeple."
- Homer: "Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes."
- Judge Harm: "Grand theft auto?!"
- Bart: "It was an accident, ma'am!"
- Judge Harm: "Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it’s frosting!"
- Homer: [Angrily] "What did she say about cupcakes?"
- Bart: "You there! Put your hands up!"
- Ned: "Me? Okay."
- Bart: "Now, drop your pants!"
- Ned: "But my hands are up."
- Bart: "Hula out of them!"
- Ned: "Alright, officer."
- Judge Harm: "Well, I thought Dad was the probelm, but apparently Mom is no prize pig herself. It's a miracle poor Bartholomew isn't robbing banks and chasing sweet Lady H."
- Bart: "I'm a latchkey kid."
- Lisa: "You are not!"
- Bart: "Come on, Dad. I got to go to the bathroom."
- Homer: "Oh, I just got comfortable! Use the bottle."
- Marge: "No! I don't want you going in a bottle. That's what hobos do!"
- Bart: "Come on, Homer!"
- Homer: "No!"
- Bart: "Mom!"
- Marge: "Aw geez, Homer, just take him to the bathroom!"
- Homer: "Fine! I don't know why we even have a bottle! Somebody tell me!"
- Bart: "The town keeps getting bigger. Will there always be enough electricity?"
- Homer: [Laughs] "Ah, son, you know that's none of your business."
- Officer: "Sir, you are not a size 4."
- Homer: "I used to be!" [Starts crying]
- Judge Harm: "You have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision!"
- Homer: "I couldn't agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair?"
- Judge Harm: "Sorry, bub, that crow won't caw."
- Homer: "It won't?"
- Milhouse: "If we're late for school, we'll miss our free federal breakfast."
- Bart: "Big deal! It's just saltines and fig paste."
- Milhouse: "Ewww! Saltines!"
- Judge Harm: [to Bart] "According to this, your father was driving you to school. Then where was he when you stole the police car?"
- Homer: "Uh, your honor? I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Price Patrol."
- Judge Harm: "You abandoned your son to win forty dollars!?"
- Homer: "And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion [Takes out the medallion] Cool."
- Judge Harm: "And that was more important than keeping your son out of trouble?"
- Homer: "Your honor, if I may sing a little bit of, "Don't Fear The Reaper", I think you'll agree that--"
- Judge Harm: "I'm familiar with B.O.C.!"
(Homer, tethered to Bart, enters Moe's.)
- Moe: "Hey, no kids in the bar."
- Homer: "Since when?"
- Moe: "Oh, the heat's been on since them Bush girls were in here."
(Lisa comments on Homer being tethered to Bart.)
- Lisa: "Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our mailman."
- Judge Harm: "Not only that, you are horrible parents, you're also violent criminals. I'm going to have you two locked up 'til frogs do fractions."
- Bart: "Your Honor, may I say something?"
- Judge Harm: "Well, it is highly unorthodox... so no!"
- Bart: "Please, your Honor?"
- Judge Harm: "Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me when I was a little boy."
- Bart: "Your Honor, it's not easy being my parents. I'm always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway decent person, I know it will be because of my Mom and Dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will."
- Lisa: [proudly] "Thats my brother."
- Snake: "Um, did she just say she used to be a dude?"
- Kirk Van Houten: "Judge, please don't send my boy to juvie. He's just weak, both morally and in the upper body."
- Judge Harm: "I hereby order you to be tethered to your son."
- Homer: "Tethered?"
- Judge Harm: "Tethered. Report to room 5."
- Homer: "Room 5?"
(Marge has cut the tether and triggered the alarm and Judge Harm's image appears out of the tether.)
- Judge Harm: "That's right it's me, Judge Harm, through the magic of fiber optics."
- Homer: "Hey, hey, hey, h-how about that? Huh, huh?"
- Judge Harm: "Quiet, tubsy. You violated my order."
- Homer: "But Constance, it only happened because--"
- Judge Harm: "Hey, hey, if I want a cock and bull story, I'll read Hemingway."
(Watching Judge Harm on television.)
- Marge: "Of course she's never had children, look at how high and firm her breasts are!"
