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Difference between revisions of "Salting the Books"

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(Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = Salting the Books |image = |level = 5 |update = {{TOCU|The Van Houtens}} |requirements = |characters = Kirkedemious Van Houten, Fat Tony |...")
 
m (replaced: ’ → ' (34), … → ... (11), “ → " (2), ” → " (2), * → {{*}} (2), {{{{*}}}} → {{*}} (2))
 
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{{TB|So this is the Springfield I've heard so much about.}}
 
{{TB|So this is the Springfield I've heard so much about.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|Time to go check up on the cracker factory. I’m sure the Van Houten name is thriving thanks to our family’s legendary square and salty goodness.}}
+
{{TB|Time to go check up on the cracker factory. I'm sure the Van Houten name is thriving thanks to our family's legendary square and salty goodness.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{TB|This here is the room where we salt the crackers. If we had the budget for it. These days, each cracker sheet is just rubbed against this salt block for twenty seconds.}}
 
{{TB|This here is the room where we salt the crackers. If we had the budget for it. These days, each cracker sheet is just rubbed against this salt block for twenty seconds.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|That’s enough salt for the people? We’re still the number one cracker in the tri-county area, I trust?}}
+
{{TB|That's enough salt for the people? We're still the number one cracker in the tri-county area, I trust?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{TB|Oh, good gracious, no. Southern Cracker has fallen to the number six spot, behind Allied Biscuit.}}
 
{{TB|Oh, good gracious, no. Southern Cracker has fallen to the number six spot, behind Allied Biscuit.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Allied Biscuit? Allied Biscuit?!! Oh, if Grandpappy Van Houten knew we’d be playing second fiddle—}}
+
{{TB|Allied Biscuit? Allied Biscuit?!! Oh, if Grandpappy Van Houten knew we'd be playing second fiddle—}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{TB|More like sixth fiddle.}}
 
{{TB|More like sixth fiddle.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|—to Allied Biscuit, he’d be rolling over in his grave…}}
+
{{TB|—to Allied Biscuit, he'd be rolling over in his grave...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|…if he hadn’t been cremated and sprinkled over a batch of Special Reserve Saltinettes.}}
+
{{TB|...if he hadn't been cremated and sprinkled over a batch of Special Reserve Saltinettes.}}
 
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Go Over the Books|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]] or [[Van Houten Villa]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Go Over the Books|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]] or [[Van Houten Villa]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|These numbers can’t be correct. Sixteen thousand dollars for a nuclear-powered dough kneader?}}
+
{{TB|These numbers can't be correct. Sixteen thousand dollars for a nuclear-powered dough kneader?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
−
{{TB|Ah, yes that was for our limited release S’S’mores. For when you’ve had some s’mores but you need S’S’more s’mores.}}
+
{{TB|Ah, yes that was for our limited release S'S'mores. For when you've had some s'mores but you need S'S'more s'mores.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{TB|And another sixteen thousand for a grammar expert?}}
 
{{TB|And another sixteen thousand for a grammar expert?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
 
{{Tapped Out Icon|Cracker Manager|Southern Cracker manager|45}}
−
{{TB|Right. Also for the S’S’mores campaign. Corporate couldn’t decide how many apostrophes was correct.}}
+
{{TB|Right. Also for the S'S'mores campaign. Corporate couldn't decide how many apostrophes was correct.}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
}}
Line 56: Line 56:
 
{{TB|Kirkedemious? I thought you were—}}
 
{{TB|Kirkedemious? I thought you were—}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|Hiking the Andes with my mistress? I cut it short to check up on our factory. And I’m glad I did. Are you aware of the state of things?}}
+
{{TB|Hiking the Andes with my mistress? I cut it short to check up on our factory. And I'm glad I did. Are you aware of the state of things?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Luann Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Luann Icon}}
−
{{TB|Uh…Kirk did it!}}
+
{{TB|Uh...Kirk did it!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{TB|Tell me, Luann. What percentage of the local indigenous population is being exploited for labor in the factory?}}
 
{{TB|Tell me, Luann. What percentage of the local indigenous population is being exploited for labor in the factory?}}
Line 64: Line 64:
 
{{TB|Uh, well, I think zero.}}
 
{{TB|Uh, well, I think zero.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Oh, that’s way too low. No wonder your profit margins are so thin.}}
+
{{TB|Oh, that's way too low. No wonder your profit margins are so thin.}}
 
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Look for Indigenous Springfielders to Exploit|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]] or [[Van Houten Villa]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Luann Yell at Kirk for the Factory Woes|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Luann]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Kirk Threaten Divorce but Take it Back|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Kirk]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Look for Indigenous Springfielders to Exploit|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]] or [[Van Houten Villa]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Luann Yell at Kirk for the Factory Woes|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Luann]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Kirk Threaten Divorce but Take it Back|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Kirk]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Luann Icon|Angry}}
 
{{Tapped Out Luann Icon|Angry}}
−
{{TB|This is all your fault! Kirkedemious wouldn’t even be here if you hadn’t taken over at the factory and driven it into the ground!}}
+
{{TB|This is all your fault! Kirkedemious wouldn't even be here if you hadn't taken over at the factory and driven it into the ground!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Angry}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirk Icon|Angry}}
−
{{TB|Well I wouldn’t have had to take over at the factory if you’d been supportive of my competitive basket weaving. I could have gone pro!}}
+
{{TB|Well I wouldn't have had to take over at the factory if you'd been supportive of my competitive basket weaving. I could have gone pro!}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
}}
Line 81: Line 81:
 
{{TB|Among other arrangements, yes.}}
 
{{TB|Among other arrangements, yes.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|Then I need you to gather an assortment of indigenous laborers and have them report to the Southern Cracker factory. Ask for, um…Mr., uh…Mr. Manager.}}
+
{{TB|Then I need you to gather an assortment of indigenous laborers and have them report to the Southern Cracker factory. Ask for, um...Mr., uh...Mr. Manager.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
 
{{TB|That can be arranged.}}
 
{{TB|That can be arranged.}}
−
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Ask the Cracker Factory Manager’s Name|8 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]] or [[Van Houten Villa]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Fat Tony Round Up the Locals|8 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]}}|colspan=2}}
+
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Ask the Cracker Factory Manager's Name|8 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]] or [[Van Houten Villa]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Fat Tony Round Up the Locals|8 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Cletus Icon|Shocked}}
 
{{Tapped Out Cletus Icon|Shocked}}
−
{{TB|And so alls I gots to do is scrape all this dough off’a this machine here, and I can keep whatever I dun scraped?}}
+
{{TB|And so alls I gots to do is scrape all this dough off'a this machine here, and I can keep whatever I dun scraped?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|Incredible. They’ve barely learned language at all. And what is the name of his tribe?}}
+
{{TB|Incredible. They've barely learned language at all. And what is the name of his tribe?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
−
{{TB|They go by the moniker of “Yokels”.}}
+
{{TB|They go by the moniker of "Yokels".}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon}}
 
{{TB|I like to lick the salt block!}}
 
{{TB|I like to lick the salt block!}}
Line 104: Line 104:
 
{{THT|After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Confused}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Confused}}
−
{{TB|Excuse me. Are you…{{*}}reading{{*}}…Kirkedumbledore Von Hasselhoff?}}
+
{{TB|Excuse me. Are you...{{*}}reading{{*}}...Kirkedumbledore Von Hasselhoff?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{TB|Yes. Are you another Yokel?}}
 
{{TB|Yes. Are you another Yokel?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
−
{{TB|I’m asking the questions here. It seems that Channel 6 News did an exposé on numerous labor code violations at your factory.}}
+
{{TB|I'm asking the questions here. It seems that Channel 6 News did an exposé on numerous labor code violations at your factory.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{TB|Is that a question?}}
 
{{TB|Is that a question?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Guilty}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Guilty}}
−
{{TB|No. My question is…I didn’t see the exposé…did you?}}
+
{{TB|No. My question is...I didn't see the exposé...did you?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|I did not. But speaking of free media exposure I believe you would be the perfect spokesperson for our new Southern Cracker ad campaign…}}
+
{{TB|I did not. But speaking of free media exposure I believe you would be the perfect spokesperson for our new Southern Cracker ad campaign...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Confused}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Confused}}
 
{{TB|I would?}}
 
{{TB|I would?}}
Line 120: Line 120:
 
{{TB|Indeed. A rugged man among men, exploring the countryside, stopping here and there for the manliest of snacks — a cracker.}}
 
{{TB|Indeed. A rugged man among men, exploring the countryside, stopping here and there for the manliest of snacks — a cracker.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|Unless, of course, you’re busy with this…exposé, was it?}}
+
{{TB|Unless, of course, you're busy with this...exposé, was it?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Proud}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Proud}}
 
{{TB|What, that? No, no, tell me more about my rugged man-among-manliness.}}
 
{{TB|What, that? No, no, tell me more about my rugged man-among-manliness.}}
Line 127: Line 127:
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{TB|Sure thing. Let me get my Springfield Explorers outfit.}}
 
{{TB|Sure thing. Let me get my Springfield Explorers outfit.}}
−
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Pose|60 minutes}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Run Home to Get His Explorer’s Outfit|60 minutes|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Wiggum]]}}|colspan=2}}
+
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Pose|60 minutes}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Run Home to Get His Explorer's Outfit|60 minutes|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Wiggum]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon|Happy}}
−
{{TB|Yes, that’s it. Perfection.}}
+
{{TB|Yes, that's it. Perfection.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
−
{{TB|Should I raise my leg higher? No guarantees I’ll succeed, but I can try.}}
+
{{TB|Should I raise my leg higher? No guarantees I'll succeed, but I can try.}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
}}
Line 145: Line 145:
 
{{TB|With these cracker sales, we can afford to buy real salt. The Van Houten name will mean something again.}}
 
{{TB|With these cracker sales, we can afford to buy real salt. The Van Houten name will mean something again.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Kirkedemious Van Houten Icon}}
−
{{TB|Other than “Made of Wood” of course.}}
+
{{TB|Other than "Made of Wood" of course.}}
 
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Salt the Crackers|4 hours}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Audition for Other Modeling Gigs|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Wiggum]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Kirkedemious Salt the Crackers|4 hours}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Wiggum Audition for Other Modeling Gigs|4 hours|the [[Cracker Factory]], [[Van Houten Villa]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Wiggum]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Brockman Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Brockman Icon}}
Line 152: Line 152:
 
{{TB|We Yokels demand freedom!}}
 
{{TB|We Yokels demand freedom!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
−
{{TB|Look at that. Ralphie is a spokesman, too. He’s a chip off the old block.}}
+
{{TB|Look at that. Ralphie is a spokesman, too. He's a chip off the old block.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ralph Icon|Sad}}
 
{{TB|Salt makes my tongue mad!}}
 
{{TB|Salt makes my tongue mad!}}

Latest revision as of 19:22, March 11, 2025


Salting the Books
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: The Van Houtens
Required characters: Kirkedemious Van Houten, Fat Tony
Optional characters: Luann, Kirk, Wiggum

Salting the Books is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Van Houtens content update. It requires Kirkedemious Van Houten to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark
Kirkedemious Van Houten So this is the Springfield I've heard so much about.
Kirkedemious Van Houten Time to go check up on the cracker factory. I'm sure the Van Houten name is thriving thanks to our family's legendary square and salty goodness.
Cracker Manager This here is the room where we salt the crackers. If we had the budget for it. These days, each cracker sheet is just rubbed against this salt block for twenty seconds.
Kirkedemious Van Houten That's enough salt for the people? We're still the number one cracker in the tri-county area, I trust?
Cracker Manager Oh, good gracious, no. Southern Cracker has fallen to the number six spot, behind Allied Biscuit.
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Annoyed Allied Biscuit? Allied Biscuit?!! Oh, if Grandpappy Van Houten knew we'd be playing second fiddle—
Cracker Manager More like sixth fiddle.
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Annoyed —to Allied Biscuit, he'd be rolling over in his grave...
Kirkedemious Van Houten ...if he hadn't been cremated and sprinkled over a batch of Special Reserve Saltinettes.
Task: "Make Kirkedemious Go Over the Books". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory or Van Houten Villa and takes 4 hours.
Kirkedemious Van Houten These numbers can't be correct. Sixteen thousand dollars for a nuclear-powered dough kneader?
Cracker Manager Ah, yes that was for our limited release S'S'mores. For when you've had some s'mores but you need S'S'more s'mores.
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Surprised And another sixteen thousand for a grammar expert?
Cracker Manager Right. Also for the S'S'mores campaign. Corporate couldn't decide how many apostrophes was correct.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark
Kirkedemious Van Houten Luann.
Luann - Surprised Kirkedemious? I thought you were—
Kirkedemious Van Houten Hiking the Andes with my mistress? I cut it short to check up on our factory. And I'm glad I did. Are you aware of the state of things?
Luann Uh...Kirk did it!
Kirkedemious Van Houten Tell me, Luann. What percentage of the local indigenous population is being exploited for labor in the factory?
Luann Uh, well, I think zero.
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Annoyed Oh, that's way too low. No wonder your profit margins are so thin.
Task: "Make Kirkedemious Look for Indigenous Springfielders to Exploit". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory or Van Houten Villa and takes 4 hours.
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Yell at Kirk for the Factory Woes". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory, Van Houten Villa, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Kirk is owned: Task: "Make Kirk Threaten Divorce but Take it Back". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory, Van Houten Villa, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Luann - Angry This is all your fault! Kirkedemious wouldn't even be here if you hadn't taken over at the factory and driven it into the ground!
Kirk - Angry Well I wouldn't have had to take over at the factory if you'd been supportive of my competitive basket weaving. I could have gone pro!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark
Kirkedemious Van Houten I take it you are the chief recruiter of the local labor hiring hall?
Fat Tony Among other arrangements, yes.
Kirkedemious Van Houten Then I need you to gather an assortment of indigenous laborers and have them report to the Southern Cracker factory. Ask for, um...Mr., uh...Mr. Manager.
Fat Tony That can be arranged.
Task: "Make Kirkedemious Ask the Cracker Factory Manager's Name". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory or Van Houten Villa and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Fat Tony Round Up the Locals". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory, Van Houten Villa, or a Brown House and takes 8 hours.
Cletus - Shocked And so alls I gots to do is scrape all this dough off'a this machine here, and I can keep whatever I dun scraped?
Kirkedemious Van Houten Incredible. They've barely learned language at all. And what is the name of his tribe?
Fat Tony They go by the moniker of "Yokels".
Ralph I like to lick the salt block!
Kirkedemious Van Houten And this one is a Yokel as well?
Fat Tony After a fashion.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark
Wiggum - Confused Excuse me. Are you...*reading*...Kirkedumbledore Von Hasselhoff?
Kirkedemious Van Houten Yes. Are you another Yokel?
Wiggum - Serious I'm asking the questions here. It seems that Channel 6 News did an exposé on numerous labor code violations at your factory.
Kirkedemious Van Houten Is that a question?
Wiggum - Guilty No. My question is...I didn't see the exposé...did you?
Kirkedemious Van Houten I did not. But speaking of free media exposure I believe you would be the perfect spokesperson for our new Southern Cracker ad campaign...
Wiggum - Confused I would?
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Happy Indeed. A rugged man among men, exploring the countryside, stopping here and there for the manliest of snacks — a cracker.
Kirkedemious Van Houten Unless, of course, you're busy with this...exposé, was it?
Wiggum - Proud What, that? No, no, tell me more about my rugged man-among-manliness.
Kirkedemious Van Houten Of course. But first, let me see you pose just like I am.
Wiggum Sure thing. Let me get my Springfield Explorers outfit.
Task: "Make Kirkedemious Pose". The job takes 60 minutes.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Run Home to Get His Explorer's Outfit". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory, Van Houten Villa, or a Brown House and takes 60 minutes.
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Happy Yes, that's it. Perfection.
Wiggum Should I raise my leg higher? No guarantees I'll succeed, but I can try.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Kirkedemious Van Houten's exclamation mark
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Happy The numbers have just come in. Our ad campaign is a huge success, all thanks to you, Chief Wiggum.
Wiggum - Proud Ah, well, just doing my job. My second job, that is.
Kirkedemious Van Houten - Happy With these cracker sales, we can afford to buy real salt. The Van Houten name will mean something again.
Kirkedemious Van Houten Other than "Made of Wood" of course.
Task: "Make Kirkedemious Salt the Crackers". The job takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Audition for Other Modeling Gigs". The job takes place at the Cracker Factory, Van Houten Villa, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Brockman Following our exposé last week, several of the exploited workers have bravely chosen to come forward.
Ralph We Yokels demand freedom!
Wiggum Look at that. Ralphie is a spokesman, too. He's a chip off the old block.
Ralph - Sad Salt makes my tongue mad!
Wiggum - Serious Block of salt, that is.
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20


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