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The Springfield Monorail was a short lived solar powered transport system in Springfield.

Thanks to a fine Mr. Burns had to pay for illegally dumping radioactive waste in a playground, Springfield came into possession of $3,000,000 (though Mayor Quimby attempted to pocket a million dollars for himself). A town meeting was held to decide what to do with the money. The townspeople were on the verge of adopting Marge Simpson's proposal to use the money to repair Main Street when a man named Lyle Lanley interrupted the meeting and suggested using it to buy one of his monorails. Lanley's sales pitch trumped Marge's proposal, and the town built the monorail. Some people voiced concerns about the practicality of a monorail in Springfield, but Lanley deftly skirted around their questions. Homer Simpson became the conductor of the monorail, chosen at random after an "extensive 3 week training course", which actually consisted solely of the meaning of the monorail's name (mono = one; rail = rail).

Marge was not convinced by Lanley's charm and decided to go to North Haverbrook to see what a monorail had done for their town. She arrived to see the monorail in ruins and North Haverbrook a veritable ghost town, devastated by "one of the crappiest trains ever built", and learned that Lanley had deliberately cut every corner possible and then skipped town with all of the leftover money. The result: North Haverbrook's monorail crashed almost instantly, causing tremendous property damage and loss of life...

Today is August 16.

On this day...

1945: Bob Balaban, actor and guest star, was born.
1948: Joey Spampinato, instrumentalist and guest star, was born.
1953: Kathie Lee Gifford, television presenter and guest star, was born.
1956: Dale Raoul, voice dubber, was born.
1958: Angela Bassett, actress and guest star, was born.
1962: Steve Carell, actor and guest star, was born.
1972: Emily Strayer, singer and guest star, was born.
1975: Taika Waititi, filmmaker and guest star, was born.
1985: Cristin Milioti, actress and guest star, was born.
2007: The Best of The Simpsons #39 was released in the UK.

"Marge vs. the Monorail" is the twelfth episode of broadcast season 4 of The Simpsons and the seventy-first episode overall. It originally aired on January 14, 1993. The episode was written by Conan O'Brien and directed by Rich Moore. It guest stars Phil Hartman as Lyle Lanley and Leonard Nimoy as himself.

After collecting a $3 million fine from Mr. Burns for illegal disposal of nuclear waste, Springfield is convinced by a smooth-talking stranger named Lyle Lanley to spend the money on a needless monorail, with Homer serving as the conductor...

The Simpsons return this fall with Season 37
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Sebastian Cobb is a scientist whom Lyle Lanley hired to build the North Haverbrook monorail.

Over Cobb's protests, Lanley used shoddy materials throughout the monorail construction process in North Haverbrook, which left it with extensive faults in the brakes and wiring. Unsurprisingly, the monorail crashed on its maiden run, injuring many people and destroying North Haverbrook's economy.

Marge Simpson met Cobb just before the opening of the Springfield Monorail. Suspicious of Lanley, she drove to North Haverbrook to investigate his claim that he had built a monorail there. On arriving, she found the ruins of the North Haverbrook monorail and residents unwilling to talk about the monorail or even admit to its existence. Cobb, however, was willing to talk and filled Marge in on the history of the North Haverbrook monorail. When he heard that the Springfield monorail was about to open, he said, "You just better have a damn good conductor," and the two of them quickly returned to Springfield to try to stop the monorail's grand opening...

"You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it!"
―Lyle Lanley^[src]

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