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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Simpsons Wrestling content update/Premium Gameplay
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Hard Science[edit]
Hard Science Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Professor Werner von Brawn's exclamation mark:
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What's this? My application to lecture at my alma mater, University of Heidelberg, has been rejected!
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While U.H. boasts the finest Physics AND Professional Wrestling departments on the continent, I suppose, I have neglected one for the other.
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Perhaps boning up on my physics credentials will help them reconsider...
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Task: Make Werner von Brawn Get Frustrated by Difficult Physics Problem (4h, University of Heidelberg or Brown House) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Hard Science Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on Professor Werner von Brawn's exclamation mark:
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This is ludicrous! How can physics be harder than wrestling?!
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Don't be so hoyvin-glavin on yourself. You've been more focused on the biting and the Body Pressing and the Whatsit-Wheelbarrow Drivers...
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Maybe try attacking the rasslin' and sciencing together and see where that takes you!
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Yes...yes, that might work!
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Um, why are you staring at me like that?
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Task: Make Werner von Brawn Bodyslam Frink to Measure Higgs Boson (8h, University of Heidelberg or Brown House)
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Hmmm... those results were entirely expected, and therefore entirely dull.
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But my intellectual passions are once again ignited! Now to find the right problem to solve.
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Try solving my fractured fibulas hoy-flavin!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Hard Science Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on Professor Werner von Brawn's exclamation mark:
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Ah, when inspiration strikes, it strikes like an Atomic Elbow Drop! Let's try it!
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But I'm still healing from your last inspiration.
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But this one is a quantum-based model of curved spacetime!
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Mhoyvin! It sounds painful.
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Task: Make Werner von Brawn Twist Frink to Model Curved Spacetime (24h, University of Heidelberg or Brown House)
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Bah! This isn't how spacetime curves.
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This isn't how my back curves either!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Hard Science Pt. 4[edit]
After tapping on Professor Werner von Brawn's exclamation mark:
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A breakthrough! This one is a guaranteed Nobel Prize winner!
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Not again!
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One word: Cavity Optomechanics!
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My cavities are off limits to science and wrestling!
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Hey wait -- come back!
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Task: Make Werner von Brawn Chase Frink Around the Ring (2h, Wrestling Pavilion, Backyard Wrestling Ring or Brown House) Task: Make Frink Run Away From Werner Von Brawn (4h, Wrestling Pavilion, Backyard Wrestling Ring or Brown House)
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Now that's what I call a spatial superposition!
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*whimper* I hurt all the way down to my nanoparticles!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Hard Science Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on Professor Werner von Brawn's exclamation mark:
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What?! The Nobel Committee rejected my application! And the University of Heidelberg turned me down again!
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On the bright side, you're nominated for a Slammy Award as top wrestling superstar of the year.
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WOO! Victory slam!
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Oy-NOOO!
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Task: Make Werner von Brawn Taunt Opponents With His Muscles (8h, Golden Ring Wrestling Headquarters, Wrestling Pavilion or Brown House) Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Crazy for You[edit]
Crazy for You Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Rumbleina's exclamation mark:
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Ha! I found you!
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Oh, great. Here we go again.
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So you decide to become a Buddhist on our honeymoon?! You just took off on your path to enlightenment and left me! I AM your wife!
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Actually, in wrestling arenas, hitting your spouse with a folding chair as part of the main event is considered a common law divorce.
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*gasp*
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Task: Make Rumbleina Read Up on Springfield Marriage Laws (12h, Town Hall or Brown House)
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Alright, Calvin. I'm tapping out.
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Whoa, Janice. Let's keep it to stage names.
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My lawyers are telling me we're divorced.
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Really?! That whole "hitting your spouse with a chair" thing I made up was true?
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Wonder if I can get out of a timeshare contract that way too?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Crazy for You Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on Rumbleina's exclamation mark:
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*crying* Oh, what am I gonna do. I've lost him. He's never coming back.
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We're live, on the scene of a bride who has been left at the altar. Why? Because we have no better news to bring you.
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What?... We're live?
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Yes, ma'am. With Channel Six's "Eye on Springfield".
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...
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*starts singing to camera* DR. BONEBREAK, WON'T YOU COME BACKKK / JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT CHAIR ATTACKKK *key change*
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Horrible lyrics.
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Task: Make Rumbleina Sing Her Heart Out on Local TV (4h, Channel 6 or Brown House) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Crazy for You Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on Rumbleina's exclamation mark:
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Rumbleina, I saw you on TV pouring your heart out with a love ballad.
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I know, it's a bit desperate. I'm embarrassed.
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Desperate? No, it wasn't desperate enough. Love songs are a dime a dozen. If you want his attention, get more... what's the word...? Psychotic.
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Task: Make Rumbleina Shave Her Head for Attention (4h)
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Are you sure this will work?
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Do you want this man, or not?
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Yes, but I also want my head not to freeze in the winter.
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Oo, I know. Nothing will get his attention better and says super psychotic more than a crazy wig.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Crazy for You Pt. 4[edit]
After tapping on Rumbleina's exclamation mark:
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I haven't heard a thing. How will I know Dr. Bonebreak's even seen any of the things I've done?
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Crime always gets their attention. Join me.
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Task: Make Rumbleina Rob the Kwik-E-Mart With Snake (8h, Kwik-E-Mart) Task: Make Snake Rob the Kwik-E-Mart With Rumbleina (8h, Kwik-E-Mart)
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*accelerating away from the crime scene* Girl, you're a natural. How 'bout spending a life of crime with me?
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Professional wrestling is basically robbery. So, it would be a natural stepping stone for me.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Crazy for You Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on Rumbleina's exclamation mark:
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Alright, Rumbleina, I'll re-marry you. Just quit embarrassing yourself.
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Ha! In your dreams. I finally found a real man.
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Yeah, we're getting married. *threatening* Unless you got a problem with that.
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Whoa, no need for violence. You can have her. Good luck to both of you.
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That was easier than I expected.
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Too easy. He didn't even fight for me.
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...
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Bonebreak, come back! I need you!
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This is awkward.
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Seriously. My feelings are like majorly hurt, okay?
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Task: Make Rumbleina Pretend to Ignore Dr. Bonebreak (12h, Jake's Unisex Hair Palace or Brown House) Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Beefy Bishop's Barbershop Gil Promo[edit]
After tapping on Gil's exclamation mark:
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Ol' Gil can't be looking scruffy while he's scroungin' for opportunities. Gotta stop and crop the top at the barber.
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With you in a sec, sweetheart.
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Whoa, sixty bucks?! How much to just do the sides?
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I am an artiste. You want a Joe Schmo cut, you go to a Joe Schmo barbershop.
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Joe Schmo's what I'm shootin' for! Is there anywhere around here like that? Something in the ten dollar range. Five dollars if I offer to sweep up after?
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On offer accepted:
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Ol' Gil's gonna be lookin' good for the ladies tonight!
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All I need now is a swanky bachelor pad.
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I'll just hit the appliance store and get me a nice one bedroom thrown-out refrigerator box. Ha-cha-cha.
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On offer declined:
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Ah, well. Back to the blood bank. There's gotta be a pint in ol' Gil's carcass somewhere.
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Cut the Beef[edit]
Cut the Beef Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Grampa's exclamation mark:
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Why won't you get back in the ring?
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My wrestling days are long over, much like your hairline. Now leave me.
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But I want to gossip about our peers and see you lose your temper.
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I haven't lost my temper in three hours. That's a new record for me.
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*walking toward the door* I forgot my wallet. I'll need to take this haircut on credit.
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Pay or your hair isn't the only thing getting cut!
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Three hours and one second. Record broken!
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Task: Make Beefy Bishop Lose His Temper (4h, Beefy Bishop's Barbershop or Brown House) Task: Make Moe Get Thrown Out (4h, Beefy Bishop's Barbershop, Moe's Tavern or Brown House)
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So much for not getting mad.
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I'm getting madder hearing you say that!
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I mighta overstayed my welcome.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Cut the Beef Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on The Beefy Bishop's exclamation mark:
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Hey, Ned. You want the usual?
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Not this time, barber-ino! I need a new look. Something that says "I love the Lord more than you do".
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I've got just the thing.
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Task: Make Beefy Bishop Give Ned a Bad Haircut (1h, Beefy Bishop's Barbershop or Jake's Unisex Hair Palace)
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What do you think of that haircut?
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I'm not sure. Does it look a little Seventeenth Century Mohican?
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The Seventeenth Century is back again. Now you can reach the troubled youth of today.
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You're not only a beefy barber, you're a brilliant barber!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Cut the Beef Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on The Beefy Bishop's exclamation mark:
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Eat my shorts, borscht breath!
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You're going down!
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This is a Barbershop of God, not some backyard brawl!
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I get worked up when brats insult me.
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He's just a kid!
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Not just any kid. He's Beautiful Bart! He caused me to lose my championship match!
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I don't know what this gulag gasbag is talking about.
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Young Bart is a saint and I won't have you bad mouth him.
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*punches Rasputin*
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Task: Make Beefy Bishop Have a Barbershop Brawl (8h, Beefy Bishop's Barbershop)
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You messed up my fresh haircut!
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The barber trimmed too close to your brain, potato head!
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What was that?
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Uh, I said, "barbers ain't what they used to be".
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Cut the Beef Pt. 4[edit]
After tapping on The Beefy Bishop's exclamation mark:
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My barbershop is a mess!
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Yeah, it's a bigger dump than my bar.
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I thought I kicked you outta here?
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You did. But you didn't say for how long.
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Permanently if you don't get the hell outta here now!
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Yeesh, keep your mitre on, padre.
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Task: Make Beefy Bishop Repair Barbershop Window (1h, Beefy Bishop's Barbershop)
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Pardon me, sir. Have you heard the good news?
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No, but here's some news for you: no pets allowed!
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Sorry, Azzlan. Wait outside. You can use a tree for a scratching post.
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Religious types are the worst.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Cut the Beef Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on The Beefy Bishop's exclamation mark:
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That lion really creeped me out.
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And he was handing out pamphlets. Who does that when you can clog people's mailboxes with spam?
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I need to get his bad aura out of my shop.
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Yeah, super retro.
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Task: Make Beefy Bishop Bless the Barbershop (4h, Beefy Bishop's Barbershop)
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Much better. Now, I can only feel the aura of washed up wrestlers and... booze slingers?
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Just like it should be.
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How do you keep getting back in here?!!
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Red in the Face[edit]
Red in the Face Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Rasputin the Friendly Russian's exclamation mark:
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*laying on couch* I don't understand. I'm the friendly Russian, not the cold, mean, stereotypical Russian.
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It seems you have some pent-up aggression. How is your relationship with your mother?
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She is like a menacing bear.
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I'm sorry to hear that.
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No, menacing bear is the most loving of creatures in Russia.
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Task: Make Rasputin Work Through Trauma (8h, St. Basil's Cathedral, Monroe's Therapy Central or Brown House) Task: Make Marvin Monroe Be Disappointed in Mother Russia (8h, St. Basil's Cathedral, Monroe's Therapy Central or Brown House)
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Did you spend a lot of time with your mother?
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Not as much as I wished. She went into hibernation most winters.
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It sounds to me like YOU are the one hibernating. You need to find your joy again. Get out in the sun and find what brightens your day.
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I'll try. But don't let this get back to Mother.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Red in the Face Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on Squeaky Voice Teen's exclamation mark:
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Sir, I can't serve you five gallons of ice cream. It's against company policy.
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But I have a five-gallon appetite!
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How 'bout two gallons of ice cream and three gallons of toppings?
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Da to ice cream. Nothing but nyet to toppings.
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Task: Make Rasputin Angrily Eat Ice Cream (4h, Ice Cream Truck or Brown House)
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This isn't working, I'm filled with rage along with cookies and cream.
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There is only one force more powerful than the love of ice cream...
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...the love of small animals.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Red in the Face Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
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What can I do for ya?
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I was told you're the man to see about cute animals.
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Nah, I'm outta the importing exotic animals game. I got gored by too many water buffalo.
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This is too bad. I was prepared to spend much money to pet animals.
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Actually... I might have something in the back. Come with me.
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Task: Make Rasputin Play With Puppies (4h)
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The puppies are teething. I have become their chew bone. This isn't a pleasurable experience.
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Sorry pal, no refunds.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Red in the Face Pt. 4[edit]
After tapping on Rasputin the Friendly Russian's exclamation mark:
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I give up. I'm doomed to be Rasputin the Cranky Russian forever.
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...Never give up! Oh, yeah!
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You're right. What kind of Russian would I be if I gave up?
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I meant never give up on the great taste of Duff!
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All the same, random brand mascot.
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Now I need a symbol like your beer belt and cape to show my gusto. How do you say, "Oh, yeah!"
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Oh, NOOO!
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Task: Make Rasputin Wave Flags (1h) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Red in the Face Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on Rasputin the Friendly Russian's exclamation mark:
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Flag waving didn't work. Did Duffman lead me astray?
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Excuse me, sir. Do you have the time?
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Sure, it's half past four.
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Wait, that's it! I can't believe it's been right under my broken nose this entire time!
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Task: Make Rasputin Get His Joy Back (12h, St. Basil's Cathedral or Brown House)
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Did you find what would ignite your spark again?
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Yes. It was in my pocket all along -- my nesting doll watch.
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I felt lost without it. But now that I have it again, it's ticking and so am I!
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It's time for a steel cage match!... right after I finish these gallons of ice cream.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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