Judge Marge/Quotes
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- Judge Julie: To the gallows, Kirk van Houten! From there you will be drawn and quartered... ...any body parts still alive will then face three consceutive life sentences. That's whte sentence I wish I could give you deadbeat dads! But since this is a small claims TV court, I fine you $400.
- Bart: Heh, heh! I love how Judge Julie goes after lousy fathers who don't give their kids what they need.
- Kirk Van Houten: I still get the $500 fee for appearing on the show, right?
- Judge Julie: Ix-nay on the ee-fay!
- Principal Skinner: So a man can't even get justice in this town anymore?
- Chief Wiggum: Guess not.
- Principal Skinner: Well, this wil no stand! I want you to take this chalk and write "I will be a better Drive" one hundred times on the road.
- Ned Flanders: Okilly dokilly!
- Carl Carlson: Did you see that?
- Lenny Leonard: What deciseive action!
- Barney Gumble: Hey, hey not let him be the new judge!
- Skinner: Me,? Well, I..
- Wiggum: Will ya, Mister? We really need to start prosecuting again.
- Marge: Bart!
- Bart: [GULP!]
- Marge: You stop bothering Judge Skinner, right now!
- Bart: Or, what?
- Marge: Or, I'll show your baby pictures to the TV cameras until you stop!
- Bart: Noooooo! It's over! I'm done! I apoligoize for this horrible misunderstanding just put the pictures away!
- Lindsay Naegle: Well done, well done. Humiliation, justice, plus a touch of nudity; I love it! I want to offer you your own show as a TV judge.
- Bart: Hey, Homer. You ever notice when mom gets a job things fall apart here at home?
- Homer: Yes, yes I have I mean, normally Lisa helps out as the voice of reason, but lately...
- Lisa: I'm taking your piggy bank and going shopping. Any objections?
- Bart: No, Lisa.
- Lisa: Good. Carry on.
- Bart: Anyway, I felt we could use and authority figure, so the hourse doesn't get acondemend again.
- Homer: But who, Bart? Who?
- Bart: Judge Snyder! he's healthy again, and now that mom's taken over. He's out of work.
- Homer: How did I miss him standing right there?
- Judge Snyder: I've been a family court judge for twenty years. I'll work for food.
- Homer: You're hired. Now quit blocking the TV, your honor!
- Marge: You know, I really would like to get out of here early and get my grocery shopping done. Whould you mind confessing? It'd really help me out.
- Jimmy the Scumbag: I don't wanna.
- Marge: Can you really look Bailiff Maggie in the eye and say you didn't rob that bank?
- Jimmy the Scumbag: I id it! I did it!
- Chief Wiggum: Using babies for confessions. When I think of all the time I wasted with phonebooks, rubber hses, and pillow casses full of sopad bars.