Homer on The Tonight Show
| Homer's Monolouge on The Tonight Show
| Special Information
The announcer welcomes the guest host, Homer Simpson and he greets the audience and viewers. Homer reveals that he is nervous and begins to joke. He says the NBC stands for "Never Been Crappier" and says that GE is doing more bad things and according Lisa they poisoning the air more than Rosie O'Donnell. Homer begins to sweat when the audience do not applaud or laugh at the jokes. Homer's arm becomes numb and Jay comes to see what is happening. Jay Leno asks him to go out that door and not come back. Before Homer goes he tells Jay that his fruit basket had only fruit and no cookies as he wanted it. The guards throw him out. Jay is also starting to sweat and is welcomed by the announcer.
- Announcer: Guest hosting for Jay, Homer Simpson!
- Homer: Hey, how ya doing? Good to see ya. All right, that's enough. I must admit, I'm a little nervous standing on the stage used by Jay Leno, Johnny Carson, the guy who ate worms on Fear Factor.
- [Audience doesn't laugh.]
- Homer: I'm gonna try some jokes now. Here I am in NBC, which by the way stands for "Never Been Crappier". Ha-ha-ha have you seen the crap they put on this network.
- [One audience member coughing.]
- Homer: Network's are good sports. I'm not sure if this is a joke but GE makes a lot of other bad things. According to my daughter Lisa, they fill the air with more dangerous hydrocarbon emissions than Rosie O'Donnell. Ha-ha-ha. Excuse me. Why am I sweating like this? When do you worry when the right arm or the left arm goes numb?
- [A gob-smacked Jay comes out from backstage]
- Jay: Hey, Homer Simpson, everybody. Isn't he great?
- Homer: Hey Jay, what do I do now?
- Jay: Uh, you go out that door and you'll never come back. Okay?
- Homer: Oh, all right. Oh, Jay, there was a mistake with my fruit basket. By which I mean itwas filled with fruit, not cookies. Um, I don't want to get anyone fired but, you know, I preferred a cookie.
- Jay: We'll take care of it.
- [Homer gets thrown out the studio]
- Homer: How soon! How did I do?
- Jay: Why am I sweating like this? Somebody bail me out!
- Announcer: And now... Jaaaaaaaaay Lenoooo!
- [The audience cheers and the claps.]
The short is published on the DVD of The Simpsons Movie.