Dr. Crab's Commie Comics/Quotes
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- Radioactive Man: Talk, you commie rat!
- Henchman: If you want me to talk, why are you knocking me unconscio—Gurk!
- Gloria Grand: Here to discuss the causes of juvenile delinquency is publisher J.J. Bellwether.
- J.J. Bellwether: The cause is simple, Gloria—The evil comic books published by William G. Maimes! his comics are filled with crime, horror, and loose behavior. They're undermining the morals of our children. I call upon the parents of America to throw out these bad comic books and instead buy their children such wholesome fare as my own Hartley, America's favorite typical cartoon teenager. This will solve the problem overnight.
- Henchman: Radioactive Man!
- Dr. Crab: Ha ha ha! Za fool! I knew he could not resist my challenge—But I am zurprised zat he vas smart enough to understand it!
- Rod Runtledge: Hi, Aunt June! I'm home!
- Aunt June: Rod! Where on Earth have you been? And who's your friend in the red flannel underwear?
- Radioactive Man: I'm Radioactive Man, ma'am! Where would you like your TV?
- Aunt June: Oh, you just set it next to the radio Rod brought me last week, and I'll go fix you boys some cocoa.
- Radioactive Man: You shouldn't be reading these, Rod! Such unhealthy trash should be banned and its publisher thrown in jail!
- Rod Runtledge: Huh? But what about the first amendment?
- Radioactive Man: Don't worry... The Constitution doesn't protect things that are printed on such crummy paper.