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Crap That No One Wanted

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Bongo logo 2012.png The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed.

The reason behind this decision is: Bongo Comics featuring Simpsons characters.

Crap That No One Wanted
Crap That No One Wanted.png
Comic Story information
Released: August 2003
Comic series: Simpsons Comics
Pages: 6
Written by: Patric M. Verrone

Crap That No One Wanted is a Simpsons Comics story first printed in Simpsons Comics #85.


Comic Book Guy shows off the one-issue Bongo Comics.


Whilst doing his annual inventory fumigation, Comic Book Guy finds a box of one-off Bongo Comics, which he decides to show off to the reader. These include Smithers the Wacky Lackey, which was given away in boxes of Rice Krusties, but couldn't even be given away, and Moe's Sad but True Romance, which wasn't in price guides because there was no price low enough for it. Comic Book Guy then decides to show off an issue of Quimby, We Hardly Know Ye.

In Quimby, We Hardly Know Ye Mayor Quimby was apparently born in a log cabin that he helped his father build. Later in life, he became student council president with 2,000 votes in a school of only 695 students. He then went to war and did astonishing feats of bravery, despite there being no war at the time. He then returned home and got married and then became Mayor of Springfield.

Comic Book Guy then shows off Abe Simpson and His Crotchety Cronies, where Grampa, Moleman, Jasper, and the Old Jewish man complain about life. Until they realize it is actually better now than it used to be. In an issue of Springfield Splendor, Moe closes his bar for the night, and tells Barney, who's trying to sleep on the pool table, to go home. When Barney asks why he can't sleep there for the night, Moe tells him that's where he sleeps.

Finally, in the issue of Bongo Annual Corporate Report, the Simpson family talk about Bongo's earnings and the money the company makes. Comic Book Guy then ends it by saying "too much said".


Comic issue Release date Country
Simpsons Comics #95 July 8, 2004 800px-Flag of the United Kingdom.svg.png
The Best of The Simpsons #49 November 27, 2008 800px-Flag of the United Kingdom.svg.png
Simpsons Comics Hit the Road! April 2009 Flag of the United States.png

The Saga of Carl - title screen.png Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Crap That No One Wanted.