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The New Old New Deal
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| The New Old New Deal
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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The New Old New Deal is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the July 4th 2018 part of the Itchy & Scratchy Land content update. It requires the Ronald Reagan Reeducation Center to be obtained.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on Ronald Reagan's exclamation mark
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In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our-
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WHAT THE... WHERE AM I?! WHAT BLEAK COMMUNIST HELLHOLE IS THIS?
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Uh... no, you're in America, Mr. President. Springfield, to be exact. You see, every 4th of July a past President gets transported here through a wormhole. A wormhole is a rip in the fabric-
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-of space-time predicted by General Relativity. Yes, yes, I'm familiar with Einstein-Rosen bridges, little girl.
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Really? I didn't know you were up on your theoretical physics. Sort of flies in the face of your public image.
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Right, right, the whole lovable grampa, "Great Communicator" thing. A facade, I assure you.
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Let me do some back-of-the-envelope mathematical calculations...I'd say the year is roughly 2018?
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Wow. I'm impressed.
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And how is my beloved America doing in 2018?
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Oh, pretty great, pretty great.
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That bad, huh? Okay, tell me everything.
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Task: "Make Lisa Explain Modern Politics". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Ronald Reagan Listen Dumbfounded". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Great Scott! What have you people done to America?!
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Okay, get a grip, Gipper. You can fix this.
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It's hard to see what one single, solitary man can do.
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Oh yeah? Watch this.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
Pt. 3
| After tapping on Ronald Reagan's exclamation mark
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You mean to tell me the top tax rate is roughly what it was when I left office? It should be zero by now! Idiots!
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Well, income inequality is the highest it's been in decades! That's good, right?
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Can it, Julius! We've got to funnel ever more money to the wealthy. Can't you see?
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The whole "trickle-down economy" idea. It's a beautiful vision, to be sure.
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I love the idea of me having so much money I can't possibly carry it all. Then, oops! A penny has fallen from atop my pile...
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...and is found by a starving urchin, who buys a crust of stale bread, and so survives another day. Beautiful.
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Trickle-down was a smokescreen, moron. The money was never intended to go anywhere but up the food chain. It's the only way!
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The only way to... what?
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To bring about... the Revolution!
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...
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I'll talk to the people. They always got me.
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| Task: "Make Ronald Reagan Address the Nation". The job takes 8 hours.
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I may not agree with the message, but the dude is WICKED charming. You gotta give him that.
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Nice speech, Mr. President. What are you working on, there?
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My latest invention. It's like a beer bong, but for money.
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I'll give them to the top .01%. They'll be able to take in tons more cash, way faster. Cool, huh?
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Ewww.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Surely, Mr. President, you can't keep cutting taxes forever?
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We have no choice. It's the only way to bring about the arrival of The One.
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Ah, of course! Wait... what?
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The lower taxes get, the more concentrated money becomes. Until that glorious day when a single person has all the money. This is The One.
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And who shall this mighty One be? Are you accepting applications?
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Well, I was originally thinking Warren Buffett. Is he still around?
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Yes, but he's gone soft. Gives a lot of money to... this is hard to say... charity. *horrified shudder*
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Okay, he's out. We'll keep looking.
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| Task: "Make Ronald Reagan Promote New Tax Plan". The job takes 4 hours.
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Once The One has all the money, what then?
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Then everyone else gets to live in a world without money. Nothing to own. Nobody having power over anyone else.
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Utopia, my brother.
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Good Lord! Is our sainted Gipper a... dirty hippie?
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I'm not really into "labels", chief.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 5
| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Wow, Mr. President. When did you come up with this whole plan to put an end to money?
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I was a precocious 12-year-old scholar, completing my dual concentration in astrophysics and economics at Harvard.
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So your whole career, all the acting and everything, was a ploy to reach the White House?
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Correct. And ugh, did I hate Hollywood. Way too conservative for me.
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Do you really think The Plan has a shot?
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I've run the numbers, Lisa. And either The One comes to being, or humanity destroys itself by 2031.
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If I can't make this happen, we're doomed!
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| Task: "Make Ronald Reagan Stress Eat Jellybeans". The job takes place at the Ronald Reagan Reeducation Center, Squidport Entrance, Brown House, or Simpson House and takes 12 hours.
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Hey, they named an airport after me. Cool.
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Mr. President, I want to help in any way I can. Tell me what to do.
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See if you can find me a t-shirt with "Reagan National Airport" on it.
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Uh... sure! But I really meant I'd like to help save the world.
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Oh, no need! That's the good news. I re-ran the numbers. Turns out this Trump guy has everything under control.
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Wait, no. That can't be.
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Yup, the man's a genius. His economic theories are light years ahead of my own. Dude's playing 20-dimensional chess.
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Oh. Of course. I... I should have known.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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