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Free Hugs
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| Free Hugs
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Free Hugs is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Treehouse of Horror XXV content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After starting the update
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| New Character: Kang
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Hey there. You're new in town, aren't you?
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I'm a police officer, in case you're wondering why I'm so astute.
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You do seem pretty sharp.
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Chief Wiggum! He's not a visitor to our town, he's a hostile alien. Arrest him and call out the national guard.
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I was gonna do that. That's the procedure for all visitors.
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I think it may be why our tourism industry is in the dumper.
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Wait! I have fled the lush tyranny of Rigel VII to seek asylum in this trailer park of a planet: Earth.
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Oh, Chief Wiggum, we've got to help him! Kang is a defector, like Rudolph Nureyev or Martina Navratilova!
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Yeah, but those guys could do stuff and this thing's just a drooling squid.
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I wish to be an Earthling now and follow Earthling customs.
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Our drone cameras report that you saliva-swallowing bipeds enjoy building useless 2-D buildings.
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I shall build the most useless, most two-dimensional building of all!
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Wait, did you say drone cameras?
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Silence foolish Earth-tween! If you are accusing me of breeding organic, living camera drones that resemble Earth's housefly...
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and then abandoning the project because we got much too much footage of dog poo, you are paranoid!
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Just build your building.
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Task: "Build the Make-a-Thing Workshop". It takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Kang Watch Housefly Drone Camera Footage". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 8 hours.
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So what kind of store did you build, Mr. Kang?
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It is genius!
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I provide plush-bear skins and people pay to labor like third-world child-slaves, stuffing and putting sunglasses on them.
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I guess you'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
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Look at the accessories! There's even a tiny wheel chair!
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And a little boombox! I wanna make one!
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Yes! Stuff! Stuff like there's no tomorrow!
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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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You were right to insist I go trick-or-treating, Mr. Kang. I had a great time.
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You deserve it. Now don't be shy -- eat your candy!
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Thank you, I will.
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Yes, eat and fatten yourself!
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Then relax by soaking in some olive oil with garlic and lemon zest overnight in this refrigerator!
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Hmmm, you're starting to sound like the people-eating Rigellian you used to be.
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What? No! I am now one of you. Can't you tell by my fanny pack and my tramp stamp?
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Hmm...
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| Task: "Make Lisa Question Kang's Motives". The job takes place at the Simpson House, requires Kang, and takes 45 seconds.
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| After quest completion
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Enough of this grilling! I'll tell you everything. I'm setting you up for a Rigellian invasion. In fact, it's already begun!
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I didn't even start questioning you yet - all I asked is if you wanted a drink.
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Oh. In that case.... I'LL TELL YOU NOTHING, IMPUDENT GIRL-COW!
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And I'll take an iced tea.
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Yeah, I think I'm gonna go alert everyone to the invasion.
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Great Gas God! She knows about the invasion!!
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Quickly! Begin phase two of the invasion. Codename: Phase Two!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
| After completing Pt. 2.
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People of Earth, cower before the approaching Rigellian onslaught!
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They're smaller than I expected...
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Our army is made of juveniles who are old enough to fight but too young to vote.
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It's the only way we get to fight the really cool, stupid wars.
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Well, I'm not afraid. We have a secret weapon! Prepare to be squished by The Sky Finger!
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| Task: "Squish a Rigellian Invader".
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Ha, ha, ha, ha! Your impotent squishings do nothing!
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Our troops are wearing a protective film, much like the tinted windows of your Earth limousines.
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In my short time as an Earthling, I really got into the whole club scene. You know, VIP rooms, bottle service...
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But that is neither here nor any other place!
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Prepare for your future as livestock!
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I already came up with the squishing them idea.
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If the survival of humanity depends on me coming up with another idea, we are ska-rewed.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After completing Pt. 3
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Those aliens are going to eat me first for sure.
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Oh, why do my loins have to be so marbled?!
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Before we start talking about the quality of our body meat, let's find a way to resist the moiven-occupation!
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I can engineer a super-weapon!
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I just need a small, metal, nail-like object.
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I got a nail in my treat bag. Will that work?
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Well, it's a little on the nose, but we don't have time for subtlety.
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| Task: "Use the Make-a-Thing Workshop to Craft a Weapon".
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Good glavin, look what I found here next to the teddy-bear-stuffing-injector! The Rigellians have a re-moleculizor!
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This fascinating machine can take any thing and turn it into a different thing! With the molecules and reconfiguring and the---
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Don't get distracted, Professor! You have to get to work on that weapon.
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Oh, I've already made the super-weapon. It's there on the counter.
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You hammered a nail into a piece of scrap wood?
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I also installed a decal that said, "Awesome!" but it, uh, did not stick. Ahoy-vun.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 5
| After completing Pt. 4
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We're doomed! We can't fight off an army of alien invaders with a board with a nail in it!
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A board with a nail in it?!
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Retreat! Retreat!
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Our protective film is worthless if it gets scratched even a little!
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Sky Finger, squish now! While they are vulnerable! Squish like you've never squished before!
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| Task: "Squish Rigellian Invaders" (x20).
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| After quest completion
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Woo hoo! The town is completely clear of aliens! Time to get back to our regular, fulfilling lives.
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You fool! Just because you have cleared your town of Rigellians doesn't mean you have prevailed.
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We will continue to send small numbers to your Springfield over the course of approximately one Earth month.
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Maybe longer. Sometimes we extend these things for a week or two after we say we're going to.
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Why don't you just send everyone at once and get it over with?
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Ha, ha, ha, ha! As if your Earth phones could handle that many Rigellians on screen at the same time!
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| Message
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We Want You... to squish Rigellians. Fight the good fight and win exclusive prizes.
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Quest reward:  10 and 10
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