Homer's Phobia
"Homer's Phobia"
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Episode Information
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Plot
After one of Bart's pranks causes the gas pipe to explode, the Simpsons have to find a way to pay the expensive gas bill. They try to use their retirement fund, but when Homer carries it outside, it falls through the ground due to it's weight. This causes Marge to want to pawn in her grandmother's priceless Civil War doll. When they try pawning it in, one of the clerks at the store, named John, informs them that the "priceless" doll, is a Liquor Lad whiskey bottle from the 70's. But despite that, the Simpsons find John witty and invite him over to their house.
At their house, he seems to enjoy kid things like Itchy & Scratchy. Then, he and Homer dance to a record, where he calls Homer "the living end". The next morning Homer tells Marge about how much he likes John. Marge tells him that not only does he probably not have a wife and most likely doesn't go out with women, but that John is homosexual, causing Homer to go into a homophobic state. Marge tells Homer that although he has these tendencies, she still likes him, and he has invited the family for a drive, but Homer refuses to go. When they get back from their enjoyed car ride, Bart shows Homer a zapper gun John gave which Homer remembers being shown before.
Later that day, Bart passes by wearing a Hawaiian shirt and tells him that it "came out of the closet". At dinner, Marge has store bought cupcakes for everyone. Chocolate and pink icing. Homer gets even more concerned when Bart picks a pink one. In bed, Marge knows that there is something worrying Homer. He tells her that Bart is becoming gay, which Marge does not believe. The next day, Homer finds Bart dancing to tropical music while wearing a wig. Homer finds John in the kitchen with Marge and some cactus candy, and tells him that he is making Bart gay, and that he's going to try to fix him.
Homer then drops Bart off near a billboard with two women advertising Laramie cigarettes. He comes back two hours later and Bart tells him that he wants a slim cigarette. He then takes Bart to steel mill to make Bart more man like. But when they enter, the mill turns out to be gay. Homer goes to Moe's Tavern and talks to Barney and Moe about this. They suggest that Bart goes out hunting with Homer. He grabs Bart out of John's pawn shop, and he takes him hunting with Barney and Moe. They wait in the woods for hours with not one sight of a deer, so they call it a night. Homer is depressed that wasn't able to change Bart, but Moe drives them to Santa's Village. Back at the Simpsons' house, John wonders where Homer and Bart went, and Lisa tells him that they went hunting, but John knows that the only deer around in the Winter are reindeer. The group smashes through the gate and find some reindeer. Homer turns around and expect to see dead reindeer when he looks back again. He hears a shot, but Bart, reluctant of shooting, fired plainly. This causes the deer to go nuts, and they try to attack the group. Barney and Moe hide under the food and water troughs, while Homer and Bart are surrounded by the angry rein deer. Homer sacrifices himself by holding Bart above his head while he is tenderized by the rein deer until a small little robot Santa Claus which scares them away. This was apparently good timing of John who was controlling the robot all along and knew that they would be scared off by their "cruel master" Santa Claus. Homer now realizes that gays are not sissies after one of them (John) has saved his life. And Bart now realizes that Homer thought he was gay. Before the credits role, the episode is dedicated to all the steel workers of America, still reaching for that rainbow.
Quotes
- Homer: It's been two hours now. How do you feel?
- Bart: I dunno. I kinda want a cigarette.
- Homer: Good, lets by you a pack. What brand?
- Bart: Anything slim.
- Homer: DANG!
- Marge: Did you notice that John seemed a little "festive"?
- Homer: Yeah, happy as a clam.
- Marge: Homer. Listen to me. John is a ho-mo-
- Homer: Right right.
- Marge: Sexual.
- Homer: Aaah!
- Homer: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I danced with a gay!
- Marge: I'm very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us out on a drive today, and we're going.
- Homer: Whoa! Not me. And not because John's gay, but because he's a sneak. He should have the good taste to mince around and let everyone know that he's... that way.
- Marge: What on Earth are you talking about?
- Homer: You know me Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FLAMING!
- John: Oh don't you love those curtains? I have the same exact ones but only in my bathroom. Didn't you just die when you found these?
- Marge: Not really. They just had corn on them. Kitchen, corn?
- John: Zap!
- Bart: Oh, dad. You are the living end.
- Homer: You! I should have known.
- John: Good morning sunshine.
- Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy.
- Homer: Look John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all just stay the hell away from my family.
- John: Well, now you don't get any candy. No that's cruel. Just take a teensy piece.
- Homer: No.
- John: Homer, what have you got against gays?
- Homer: You know. It's not... usual. If there was a law, it would be against it.
- (noise starts)
- Homer: W-Whats going on?
- Rosco: We work hard, we play hard.
- (Everybody dance now plays)
- Homer: (moaning)
