Into the Woods/Quotes

Quotes

Work in Progress!

A work in progress is being carried out on this page by Mythigator, and may undergo critical changes while this message remains in place.
As a courtesy, please contact the user before making edits on this page.
If this template has been on the page for over one week, it may be removed.

[Bart, Lisa and Milhouse arrive at Kamp Krusty.]

Lisa: Oh boy! How I love being close to all this nature! It just seems so ... natural!

Bart: Ah! Kamp Krusty! All this fresh air is really gonna provide an uptick in my usual level of tomfoolery! I can't wait to explore every inch of this place!

Milhouse: [rummaging through his backpack] I hope my mom packed my allergy medicine.

[Martin comes out and greets the trio.]

Martin: Lisa! Delighted to have you here! I'm staging a musical pageant that chronicles the adventures of the pioneers who settled the untamed wild of the Old West. I could really use your help!

Lisa: Of course! Who doesn't love a historical pageant?!

Bart: You got my vote. I doesn't.

Lisa: [ignoring Bart] Tell me all about it, Martin!

Martin: I've woven a rich tapestry of triumph and travails inspired bu the brutal hardships these brave souls endured.

Bart: Oh, boo hoo! Some old dudes had "hardships". Who cares?!

Martin: I care, Bart. I care enough to write a musical review that showcases their heroic struggle!

Lisa: It sounds fascinating, Martin! You know, the Donner Party got lost on their way to California and resorted to cannibalism in order to survive!

Bart: Were they too cheap to install GPS on their Conestoga wagons?

Milhouse: Good one, Bart!

Lisa: Don't pay any attention to them, Martin. They think "the Old West" is an actor who played Batman on TV. [gives Bart a dirty look] Get lost, Bart!

Martin: Now, now, Lisa. One must never stoop to the level of the Philistines.

Bart: C'mon, Milhouse. Let's get away from these dorks and explore the deep woods.

Milhouse: Well ... Let's be sure to be back in time for lunch, okay? My mom says I'm a real bear when my blood sugar drops! [They leave the camp and head into the woods.]

[Bart and Milhouse are exploring the woods.]

Bart: This is what Kamp Krusty is all about, Milhouse! Not watching some prissy pageant about a bunch of losers with no sense of direction.

Milhouse: Yeah. Stupid pioneers! They make me so angry!

Bart: Just look at all these awesome trees! Each one different from the next! [after a brief pause] Okay. I've seen enough trees. I'm bored.

Milhouse: I'm getting hungry. Let's head back to camp, Bart.

Bart: [looking around] I thought we were heading back.

Milhouse: [also looking around] Uh, Bart ... None of this looks familiar. I think we're lost.

Bart: [angry] Yeah. All these idiotic pine trees look the same to me.

[They keep walking. Bart sees a bear partially visible behind some bushes.]

Bart: Hmmm. I don't remember passing that bear before, do you?

Milhouse: [scared] Did you say bear?!!

[They run away screaming. A wider view of the bear, however, reveals that it's actually a statue holding a sign with a no-smoking graphic and a caption reading "Keep your butts out of the forest". Bart and Milhouse, not seeing this, run further into the woods.]