Burns' Heir/Quotes

Quotes

Season 5 Episode Quotes

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098

"Bart Gets an Elephant"

099
"Burns' Heir"

"Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"

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Nelson Muntz:: Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!

Mr. Burns: Ooh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.

Martin Prince: [Singing] "Clang, clang, clang went the trolley. Ring, ring, ring went the bell. Zing, zing, sing went my heartstrings...

[Nelson punches Martin in stomach]

Martin Prince: OW!

Mr. Burns: Thanks you. Give the bully an extra point.

[A deprogrammer has just finished forcing 'Bart' into forgetting Mr Burns and coming back to the Simpson family]

Deprogrammer: Well, it was a gruelling two weeks, but you have your son back."

[Hans Moleman walks out]

Hans Moleman: Mom, Dad, I missed you.

Homer: [sighing with relief Homer kisses Hans Moleman on the head]

Marge: Homer, that's Hans Moleman.

Homer: Can I keep him anyway, huh, huh?

[Mr. Burns attempts to prove the Simpson family does not love him, and shows him a scripted version of a false Simpsons residence]

Homer actor: [voice unlike Homer's]: I do not miss Bart at all.

Marge actress: I am glad he's gone.

Lisa actor: As am I.

[Homer actor drops his sandwich]

Homer Actor: "B'oh!"

Bart: It's probably my imagination but, something about them doesn't seem quite right.

Mr. Burns: Really? Excuse me for just a moment.

Mr. Burns: People, people that was all wrong! Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'oh!", he says [goes through script] "D'oh!"

Homer Actor: "Sorry M.B., but I'm having trouble, with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of a nuerological impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings? I mean, what the hell am I doing here!

Marge actress: And this dialog has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown.

Lisa actor: Hey, you know we're getting into golden time.

Mr. Burns: Yes. Well just get it right, or you'll all be back doing Come Blow Your Horn at the Westport Dinner Theatre.

[Bart and Lisa are dejected after failing at their auditions to become Mr. Burns' heir]

Marge: (to Homer) "I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. Isn't there something you'd like to say?"

Homer: "There sure is. Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, "Never Try."

Lionel Hutz: As for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer.

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