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The Krusty-est Place On Earth

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The Krusty-est Place On Earth
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 25
Update: Krustyland

The Krusty-est Place On Earth is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Krustyland content update. It unlocks Krustyland characters, buildings, and decorations.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty Ugh. Can someone tell me why the same dogs run every race at our track?
Krusty And why, given that, a TV clown would blow his entire fortune betting on said races?
Lisa Krusty? You’re broke?
Krusty No, broke means you have zero. I am millions in debt. If I was only broke, I’d be the richest jerk on earth.
Bart Why don't you just re-open Krustyland and make your money back?
Krusty Krustyland is a mess. They never tell you how expensive the “maintenance” part of a theme park is.
Krusty Or how when you don’t pay “maintenance,” and one ride topples onto another ride and careens into a crowded midway, it can also be expensive.
Bart Then again, rebuilding Krustyland would be a great way to kill time, and keep people from focusing on more important tasks like work and school.
Krusty Anything I can do to harm America’s productivity. Let’s do it!
Task: "Place the Krustyland Shuttle" and "Tap the Shuttle and go to Krustyland". The player receives total Cash100 and XP10 in reward.
Place: Krustyland Shuttle
Message Tap on the Shuttle to Krustyland
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty The old Krustyland is a dump. Where am I gonna find a schmuck fakakta enough to clean up this mess.
Homer Ooh, Yiddish -- that often leads to Latkes.
Krusty Hey hey! Welcome to Krustyland!
Krusty Step right up to our newest attraction: Grab That Girder Over There and Drag It, Then Every Other Girder, to Somewhere the Truck Can Get to Them More Easily!
Homer Long name. Sounds fun!
Task: "Make Homer Cleanup the Krustyland Shuttle". The task takes place at the Krustyland Shuttle and takes 6 seconds.
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer I gotta say, Krusty, the girder-dragging ride at Disneyland is better.
Homer And why reward me with these stupid tickets? A guy like me is used to getting paid in cold, hard pretend money.
Krusty Those are Krustyland Tickets! They're like money but more… fun! Hoo Hoo Ha Ha!
Krusty Also, you're going to need those tickets to rebuild the Krustyland Entrance. So hand 'em over!
Task: "Build the Krustyland Entrance". It takes 6 seconds.
Build: Krustyland Entrance
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty The harder it is for people to find their way around a theme park, the less time they spend on its fragile, deadly rides.
Krusty I need a boneheaded, twisting, counterintuitive layout for this place. Where’s that guy from before?
Homer Hi, Mr. The Klown -- I’m that guy from before. I want to once again lodge a complaint about being paid in your personal scrip instead of money.
Krusty And I look forward to that conversation. Right after you try our latest attraction: Build A Path!
Task: "Place Krustyland Paths" (x4).
Place: Krustyland Path
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer You know, this theme park is starting to feel a lot like work.
Krusty But, if I may finish that thought, it’s all worth it when you get your payout of Krustyland Tickets.
Homer Is that how that thought finishes? Well, I guess I can’t tell my thoughts what to think. Okay, what’s next?
Krusty Now comes the important stuff.
Krusty The rides are just a way to bring customers -- or, as we call them in the industry, “Fat Dummies Deserving of What They Get” -- into the park.
Homer I didn’t know we had a nickname! Pretty sweet.
Krusty But it’s the rigged, unwinnable midway games where you make the real dough.
Task: "Place the Ring Toss Stall".
Place: Ring Toss
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty Okay, Homer, are you ready to run the Ring Toss stall?
Homer Run it? But I want to play!
Krusty Don't waste your time… the rings aren't big enough to land on any of the prizes.
Homer Looks easy enough. Just watch. *clink* Whoops. Okay, just one more. *clink*
Homer One more. *clink* One more…
Krusty Ugh. Looks like I'm going to need someone else to run the stall.
Tasks: "Make Cletus Run the Ring Toss Stall" and "Make Homer Play at the Ring Toss Game" (x3). Both tasks take place at the Ring Toss. Cletus' task takes 12 hours and Homer's tasks take 4 hours each.
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 7

Bart Krusty, you haven’t rebuilt my favorite ride yet. Where’s the infamous Death Drop?
Bart You didn’t shut it down just because of one tiny little class action lawsuit filed by five thousand hospitalized children?
Lisa Ugh. Maybe that one’s better left unbuilt.
Krusty Actually, it was our safest ride.
Task: "Build the Death Drop". It takes 12 hours.
Build: Death Drop
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 8

After tapping on Barts's exclamation mark
Bart The Death Drop is ready! Just look at all that beautiful rust. Race you to it!
Milhouse I don't know, Bart. It looks like a big kid ride.
Milhouse WWell I suppose I could try it once… if Lisa holds my hand.
Lisa On the off chance that we survive this ride, no way. I’d never respect my hand again.
Tasks: "Make Bart Ride the Death Drop" (x2), "Make Lisa Ride the Death Drop", and "Make Milhouse Ride the Death Drop". The tasks take place at the Death Drop and take 30 minutes.
Bart Woooo! That was awesome. I'm going to ride it again!
Lisa II think I'm done for now… what about you, Milhouse?
Lisa Milhouse?
Milhouse - Sick‎ *vomiting*
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 9

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer We’ve run out of room to build.
Homer Guess I’ll go back to my regular jobs, of which there are now so many it’s a real pain to scroll down the list and find the one you want.
Krusty Krustyland is out of room? Then you're in luck -- there’s a job for that!
Message You've received a free land token.
Task: "Buy a Land Expansion".
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 10

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer All this work is making me hungry. Where can I get some food?
Krusty We could probably scrape together a decent Krusty Burger from what’s in the freezer.
Krusty Yup, there’s still some “meat” in there.
Homer - Dreamy‎ Mmmmm… scraped, quotation-marks meat.
Task: "Reach Level 21 and Build Krustyland Burger". It takes 24 hours.
Build: Krustyland Burger
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 11

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Woo Hoo! Krusty Burger, here I come!
Milhouse Hey, Bart! Let’s grab a Laffy Meal! It comes with a toy from the movie Green Lantern 2: Seriously, a Second Green Lantern?
Bart I’ll go on the Death Drop, while you eat a Laffy Meal. We’ll see who barfs first!
Tasks: "Make Homer Eat at Krustyland Burger", "Make Bart Ride the Death Drop", and "Make Milhouse Eat at Krustyland Burger". Homer and Milhouses's tasks take place at Krustyland Burger and Bart's task takes place at the Death Drop. All tasks take 30 minutes.
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 12

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Bart Hey, what gives?
Bart People have been on these rides all day and nobody’s dead. We’ve come to expect a good deal more maiming from our beloved Krustyland.
Bart I don’t want to grow up to be one of those guys who doesn’t have a childhood story about the kid he knew who died at an amusement park.
Martin Hello, Bartholomew! Fancy a go on the ol’ Death Drop with yours truly?
Bart Come on, Krusty -- if Martin’s having fun in your park, you KNOW you’re doing something wrong!
Krusty Everybody chill out.
Krusty If you want excitement, if you want hair-raising peril, just wait ‘til you see my next attraction… the Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy Stall!
Bart Oy vey.
Tasks: "Place the Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy Stall" and "Make Martin Try Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy". The task takes place at Knock Over The Fuzzy Guy and takes 60 minutes.
Martin Take THAT!… and THAT!
Cletus Ow! Hey! You're only allowed to throw balls at the little men!
Martin I'm sorry, Mr. Carny. I have a lot of pent-up anger due to my unpopularity and constant targeting by bullies at school.
Bart Maybe you should look for a doctor, Martin.
Martin Thank you, Bart. That's excellent advice.
Dr. Hibbert Ow! Hey! Who's throwing balls at me?
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 13

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Bart Krusty, you’ve lost your edge.
Krusty Don’t say that, kid! I’m an afternoon TV clown.
Krusty If I’m not making my living on the bleeding edge, my audience of six-year-olds will find someone who is!
Krusty Here, you want danger? You want risk? How about…
Task: "Reach Level 22 and Build Sleeping Itchy's Castle". It takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 14

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty Okay, I admit it! The new Krustyland is safe, family-friendly, and all the other horrible things you say!
Krusty The guy I suckered into building it just did too good a job. And now I have to find a way to live with the excellent results.
Krusty I never wanted to be in the business of pleasing people, but that’s the hand I was dealt.
Krusty So I’m going with it -- Krustyland is going to be the People-Pleasing-est Place On Earth!
Krusty I’m going to be the first clown in history to make people happy!
Task: "Make Krusty Get Serious". The task takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 15

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Hey, I think this Ring Toss game is RIGGED!
Krusty I’ve told you that a hundred times! Look, forget it. From now on, no more cheating our schmucks. I mean, our “valued customers.”
Krusty Though it makes my pancake makeup-caked skin crawl to say it, let’s build a game that isn’t rigged. A real people-pleaser.
Task: "Place Sideshow You".
Place: Sideshow You
Krusty Now any jerk -- I mean, “respected patron” -- can waltz in and get free Tickets.
Homer Don't mind if I do!
Message You can now play the Balloon Pop game for free Tickets!
Message Just tap on Sideshow You and get popping!
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10
Message Comic Book Guy will now appear in Krustyland when he's not doing jobs in Springfield!

Pt. 16

After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
Comic Book Guy Excuse me? I wish to commemorate my visit here by purchasing Krustyland collectibles. Where are they for sale?
Krusty Uh, nowhere. I’m trying this new thing where I treat my customers good. And everyone knows collectibles are a huge rip-off, right?
Comic Book Guy On the contrary. With the rise of the modern nerd, limited-edition plastic crap is now a safer investment than gold.
Comic Book Guy I have a mint-in-box vinyl-caped Jawa that is worth more than Delaware.
Comic Book Guy Besides, shopping is all this country is good at anymore. Might as well play to our strengths.
Krusty One shop, coming up!
Task: "Reach Level 23 and Build the Gift Shop". It takes 24 hours.
Build: Gift Shop
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 17

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty Hey, you seem to know a lot about theme parks. You want to help me make Krustyland the best it can be?
Comic Book Guy Not now, I’m shopping for toys.
Krusty Right. But I’m offering you a highly-paid--
Comic Book Guy SHOPPING!
Task: "Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Gift Shop". The task takes place at the Gift Shop and takes 60 minutes.
Quest reward: Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10

Pt. 18

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty Uhh, these people are pigs! There's trash all over the place!
Lisa Maybe we should build some garbage cans. And a recycling station, so people can also reduce their carbon footprints.
Krusty Recycling? Isn't that what you do to jokes, gags and bits?
Lisa You can also do it to trash.
Krusty Sounds expensive. Let's stick with the garbage cans.
The player receives "The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 18" which is to "Place Garbage Bins (x3)". The player receives total Krustyland Ticket.png20 and XP10 in reward.