Smitherses!/Quotes

Quotes

Mr. Burns: Those striking workers have become quite a boil on my backside, Smithers. The time ha come for drastic action.

Waylon Smithers: Drastic action, sir. You don't mean...

Mr. Burns: Yes. After weeks of bullheaded negotiation and political maneuvering, perhaps It's time to actually find out what it is they want.

Sound: [POOF!]

Waylon Smithers: They're holding out for a five cent wage increase.

Mr. Burns: Five percent!?

Waylon Smithers: No, five cents, sir. A nickel.

Mr. Burns: Never! They won't squeeze one haypenny of me!

Clancy Wiggum: Okay, Simpson, what's make you think Bart's gone missing?

Homer: He didn't show up for school, and nobody's seen him since!

Clancy Wiggum: Oh, my god! Put on an APB immediately! And call in the FBI because we could be knee-deep in international intrigue! The Simpson bout never showed up for school!

Homer: Thank you! Finally, some—wait. Are you being sarcastic?

Clancy Wiggum: It's a new policy.

Homer: Are you sure this plan is going to work?

Llewellyn Sinclair: Don't worry. Just sit back and let Llewellyn Sinclair work his magic. A wig, a touch of make-up here, a huge tummy-tuck down there. And I think we may have a winner! I've outdone myself this time!

Waylon Smithers: What do you think, Homer?

Homer: I look like Mr. Burns. That is who I'm supposed to look like, isn't it?

Waylon Smithers: People of Springfield, the situation is critical. Help Mr. Burns in his time of need and you will be rewarded!

Lenny: Where was he in our time of need? He turned his back on his workers and ruined the whole town!

Carl: Yeah! He showed us the door and hired mutant slaves!

Apu: And Springfield's lack of disposable income has cause my profits to melt away like a cherry Squishee in the bowels of hell, Sir!

Homer: It's not just Mr. Burns that's in trouble. There's a lost child somewhere in that power plant. He's cold and frightened and needs you all to save him!

Seymour Skinner: If there's a child in danger, I must help. I can whip a rag-tag group into a precise fighting corps in a matter of hours, who is the poor, helpless youth?

Homer: My son, Bart. Also knows as "the boy."

Seymour Skinner: Well, that's a different matter entirely. Drinks are on me!

Willie: We're stayin' til the ale's drunk down to the bitter dregs!

Moe: Sorry, the keg's tapped out.

Seymour Skinner: Oh. In the case, what say we help our the old miser?

Homer: And...?

Seymour Skinner: [SIGH] and the delinquent. All in favor?

Ned: Aye-diddly-do.

Barney: [URRRRUP!]

Homer: What are we going to with the clones?

Mr. Burns: Perhaps we should kill them. Yes. That's it. Everyone grab a firearm. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Waylon Smithers:Just a minute, Sir. Is it really necessary to kill them all? I mean, they are flesh of my flesh, so to speak.

Mr. Burns: Why should we spare their lives, Smithers? What have they given us apart from a completing story with the classic elements of obsession, jealousy, betrayal and derring-do! And perhaps, a little singing and dancing. What can we possibly do with that?

Llewellyn Sinclair: We'll set it to music and take it to Broadway!