To Surveil with Love/Quotes
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- [Chief Wiggum is explaining to new recruits how to use the monitors]
- Chief Wiggum: "Now follow a little formula called PB&J, Pear at the monitor, Be Judgmental, Jot it down) now a good way to remember PB&J is ABC, Always Be Considering PB&J, but the best way, is to remember the four 'a's, Always Act According to Abc."
- Marge: "That's not Sesame Street, that's a Gay Bar."
- [Shauna is making out with Jimbo but they both freak out when they hear a voice coming from somewhere]
- Jimbo: "Come on baby it's just a voice."
- Flanders: "...Like God created the Devil."
- Homer: "God create the devil? Finally he did something cool!"
- Queen Elizabeth II: "I'll miss that Ralph Wiggum. He reminds me of my boy."
- Prince Charles: "Mommy, my cat's breath smells like cat food."
- [Chief Wiggum is using the police monitors to spy on Edna Krabappel sunbathing topless]
- Lou: "Chief I think we got miss use police equipment on ZZ99"