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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Season Premiere 2016 "Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus" episode tie-in content update/Gameplay
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Gameplay
Battle of the Brands
Battle of the Brands Pt. 1
After the user logs in on September 21st:
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Ah, the coffee break: the sweet spot between beer breakfast and lager lunch.
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If you're looking for donuts, forget about it. Burns is on another health kick: all we got is Kombucha and kale.
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No donuts?! This isn't like health insurance, you can't just take it away!
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Task: Make Homer Take a Personal Day (3h, Simpson House)
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You left work and came all the way home just for donuts?!
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Some men climb mountains, some explore the oceans depths; I brave traffic in search of the elusive baker's dozen of delicacies!
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Oh, for the love of... Just go buy some from the Lard Lad.
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The tire store?
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It's a donut store!
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Really?! No wonder the pink tread on my car tires wore right off.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Battle of the Brands Pt. 2
After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 1:
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Have I travelled back to a time before giant boys walked the earth?! Where's the Lard Lad statue?
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Relax, folks. I'm Robert Chan, CEO of Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts. I'm here with the flesh-and-blood Lard Lad to announce that we're sunsetting his likeness and rebranding with something fresh and modern.
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Isn't "sunsetting" just corporate doublespeak for "killing off?"
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Makeup on the old mug ain't a bad idea. Maybe I'll do some re-Moe-deling. Youse corporate suits always got good ideas up your sleeves.
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Someday I'll have sleeves.
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To commemorate the unveiling of our new icon, we've partnered with local businesses to offer gift cards, redeemable at all Lard Lad locations.
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As a reviled member of the local business community... I'll pass.
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Task: Make Homer Check Mail for Gift Cards (3h, New Lard Lad) Task: Collect Gift Cards [x12] (3h, New Lard Lad) Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Lisa, Moe, Ned Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Battle of the Brands Pt. 3
After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 2:
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Since I'm flush with gift cards, this Prince of Plastic demands four dozen of your finest donuts, please.
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Sorry sir, all these are only good for one donut. Our prices went up to reflect the ostentatious image of our new brand.
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What the EpiPen?! A business charging more for the same product?
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Maybe I should glitz up the Quimby image. A little flash might help detract from all my 'er, many broken promises.
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If rap culture and the Catholic church have taught us anything, it's that nothing says "classy" like solid gold everything.
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Task: Make Homer Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents (3h, New Lard Lad) Task: Collect Gift Cards [x12] (3h, New Lard Lad) Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Moe, Lisa, Apu, Ned, Quimby Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Battle of the Brands Pt. 4
After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 3:
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Must find... alternative donut. Calories dwindling... pants loosening... shirt buttons relaxing...
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Apu, a dozen donuts, stat! Insert directly into this patient's donut hole.
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Sorry, Mister Homer, but the health inspector was coming, so I donated my old donuts to the food bank.
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Awwww! The needy get all the breaks!
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Moe, I normally look to you to get fried but now I need that "fried" to be donuts.
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Sorry, all I got is a pickled egg with the yolk missin'. Damn rats love my yolks!
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Let the rats have their yolks. I'll find my own donuts.
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Task: Make Homer Search for Donuts (3h, Kwik-E-Mart) Task: Collect Gift Cards [x25] (3h, Kwik-E-Mart) Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Apu, Ned, Quimby, Marge
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Here donut-donut-donut! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
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System Message
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Tune in to FOX on Sunday 8/7c for the Season Premiere, before unveiling the brand new Lard Lad in the final chapters.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Battle of the Brands Pt. 5
After the user logs in on September 25 at 12pm GMT and completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 4:
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These new donuts are great! There's "fresh rebranded" flavor in every bite.
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They're snackable, munchable, swallowable and a bunch of other "ables" that I'll make up later!
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Damn my voracious donut envy! Gimme one!
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Sorry sir, the price has gone up again. Just like college tuition, if something is more expensive, it makes people want it more.
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As a Springfield College grad, I say that's stupid! Now gimme-gimme!!
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Task: Make Homer Beg for Gift Cards (3h, New Lard Lad) Task: Collect Gift Cards [x30] (3h, New Lard Lad) Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Apu, Lisa, Moe, Quimby, Cletus Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Battle of the Brands Pt. 6
After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 5:
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You tore down my image for this?! Someone tell me where the face is on this thing so I can spit in it!
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It's like a Salvador Dali sculpture gone horribly wrong.
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The statue may be a melted mess but these new donuts are great. I can feel the dark donut-less cloud lifting from over my head.
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That's the actual clouds, Dad. Look, the sun is coming out.
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The Cronenbergian monstrosity has become a thermodynamic weapon!
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Snell's bells! Refraction claims another victim, with the focused light and the BURNing!
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Well, this was a bust. At least we managed to drum up business with all the hype.
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Actually sir, we haven't made a single cent. Everyone's been paying with the free gift cards.
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Recall those cards before Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts stock plummets and we're bought out!
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Hellooo...
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Task: Collect Gift Cards [x36] (3h, Kwik-E-Mart) Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Lisa, Ned, Apu, Quimby, Mr. Burns Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Beer Minimum
The Beer Minimum Pt. 1
After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
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Finally, goin' to Moe's will mean more than bad beer, ipecac chasers, and urinal fires.
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Task: Make Moe Inspect Moe's Brewing Co. (1h, Moe's Brewing Co.) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Beer Minimum Pt. 2
After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
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There's nothin' here! I was promised golden beer taps, stools that spin, and a real chocolate fountain, not this mud one...
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You ran out of money. We could only do the outside.
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The windows are painted on!
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Actually, they're stickers. Paint is expensive.
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I'm gonna have to undertake some creative undertaking which involves a good shovel.
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Task: Make Moe Dig a Tunnel to Moe's Tavern (3h, Moe's Brewing Co.)
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If you want something done right, you have to get your hands dirty. My hands were dirty, so I was way ahead of the game.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Beer Minimum Pt. 3
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark:
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Mister Szyslak, your building is half-finished and hazardous. Someone could really get hurt here.
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I put up one of them "enter at your own risk" signs.
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But no one would be foolish enough to enter with that hung there.
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Ooh! New Moe's!
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Whaddaya know? My best fool has arrived!
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Task: Make Homer Visit Moe's Brewing Co. (3h, Moe's Brewing Co.) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Too Much Blood in My Sugarstream
Too Much Blood in My Sugarstream Pt. 1
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
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Ahh, Cinnabun! That wondrous melange of dough, butter and cinnamon. Blows Thomas Edison and his dumb light bulb right outta the water!
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Task: Make Homer Gorge Himself on Cinnamon Buns (3h, Cinnabun) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Too Much Blood in My Sugarstream Pt. 2
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
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I'm wasting precious calories with all this chewing. Just unroll it straight into my mouth and don't stop till my credit card's maxed out.
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Task: Make Homer Continue Gorging (3h, Cinnabun)
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Sir, I ran out of Cinna-dough twelve feet ago. You've been eating employee aprons.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Springfield's Got "Talent"
Springfield's Got "Talent" Pt. 1
After placing Springfield Bowl:
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Thanks to your donut addictions, I was able to acquire Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts.
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Let this be a lesson to you all. With that, I will un-shutter the mines, open smelting plants, and as my final mercurial act, rebuild the Springfield Bowl!
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Task: Make Burns Inspect the Springfield Bowl (1h, Springfield Bowl)
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They don't build them like they used to...
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And I'll make sure of that. Take out every third screw!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Springfield's Got "Talent" Pt. 2
After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark:
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The footlights are lit, flats have been fluffed, and the theatrical union has been fired. Soon the local troglodytes will flock to the new Burns Bowl.
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Will you be conducting the auditions yourself, sir?
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Look the rabble in the eye?! Heavens no! My mountains of money free me from interaction with my fellow man.
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Task: Make Smithers Hold Auditions (4h, Springfield Bowl) Task: Make Springfielders Audition [x3] (4h, Springfield Bowl) Task: Make Burns Spy from the Wings (4h, Springfield Bowl) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Springfield's Got "Talent" Pt. 3
After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark:
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No, no, no! Less Gilbert, and more Sullivan! Can't you local yokels do anything right?
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You can lipstick up a pig, but it's still gonna snort like a pig. And until we gets the laws changed, no matter how pretty, you still can't marry it.
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It seems I'll have to make these no-talents know talent myself.
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Task: Make Burns Show Them How It's Done (4h, Springfield Bowl)
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Avert your eyes, you vagrant mendicants! Not one word of this escapes these acoustic annals. Lawyers, attack!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Season Premiere Heights Multiplier
After the user logs in on September 30th:
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Let us reap the rewards of selling out to our new corporate overlords.
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On behalf of Globaltech-Omnidyn-Synthecorp, we'd like to give back to the social elite who so often get left behind.
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Huzzah! Why should the poor be the only ones who get to suckle at the teat of government subsidy?
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I wonder how much I could get for my other kidney...
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Premium gameplay
Farm to Table
Death of a Spokesman Pt. 1
Death of a Spokesman Pt. 1
After tapping on Laird Ladd's exclamation mark:
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What am I supposed to do now? I'm done with donuts, bagels won't have me... there's nothing with a hole left.
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Tell you what, I'm going to throw you a lifesaver.
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That's it, Life Savers!
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No, stay outta candy – empty calories and empty career opportunities. You need to shed the old man routine and rebrand with a fresh image.
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Since I became a shut-in, I'm already doing all that.
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Task: Make Laird Try to Stay Relevant (12h) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Death of a Spokesman Pt. 2
After tapping on Laird Ladd's exclamation mark:
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The market research is in: no one cares about old people. They take forever at checkouts, smell like ointment, and are a constant reminder of our own mortality.
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What do I do? I tried wearing grillz but the teeth I had holding them on fell out.
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We've got to associate you with youth, vitality, and pulling all-nighters. We've got to get your raisin face on cans of Buzz Cola.
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Task: Make Laird Prove He's Still Got It (12h)
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I threw my shoulder out, which threw my back out, which threw my... uh-oh my pelvis is gone!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Death of a Spokesman Pt. 3
After tapping on Laird Ladd's exclamation mark:
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Buzz Cola isn't returning my calls. I couldn't even get you the shower grab-bar modelling gig.
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Don't give up on me. You gotta get me in somewhere!
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There is one place. Time to burn scooter rubber to the Springfield Retirement Castle.
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Task: Reach Level 19 And Build the Retirement Castle Task: Make Laird Go to The Retirement Castle (4h, Retirement Castle)
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Ah, a new roommate!
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What? No, I'm here to model... I'm a spokesman for... actually, I don't know why I'm here.
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Your wristband says you're here to stay. Pull up a puddin' cup and I'll tell ya a ramblin' story.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard
After buying Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard:
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In keeping with the 'er court mandate, my accountability will now be tracked on this new billboard. Looks like I'm doing great!
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Are you sure those numbers aren't just painted on?
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Of course not. Focus on the highly sophisticated electronics... and ignore the paint all over my hands.
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Didn't you promise to stop lying to the public?
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...Reset the clock.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Beach Hideaway
After buying Beach Hideaway:
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Ooh! An exclusive beach hideaway.
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That beach body of yours needs to be hidden away.
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Your body shaming has no effect on a man who will soon be drunk on Mai Tais and swimming with his dolphin pals.
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The dolphins don't want to swim with you. Your leaking body oils attract sharks.
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I like to think it's attracting more friends.
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Corporate Kickstarts Intro
After the user logs in on September 28th and tapping on Gil's Corporate Kickstart mark:
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The city is broke, people! We are hemorrhaging money and need cash fast, or we'll all be selling our likeness to T-shirt companies. But Moe, not you.
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I could pull the city up by its bootstraps...
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No! We will not turn to you again to solve our financial crises.
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You could all turn to Gil! Mostly 'cause I lost that vertebrae in my spine that makes ME able to turn to YOU.
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Corporate Kickstarts Wave 1
After completing Corporate Kickstarts Intro:
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Big Business to the rescue! Stock your Springfield with corporate juggernauts and get donuts back with every purchase. Ha-cha-cha!
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When does 'er, the traditional political "palm greasing" come into play?
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Every franchise contract comes with a standard government bribe.
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That is very comforting.
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Offer accepted:
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Oh, boy! This could be Gil's biggest break since both my thumbs!
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Offer declined:
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Oh, come on! Now the bank is gonna repossess the flaps on my cardboard box.
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It gets chilly without the flaps...
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Luxury Condos and Don'ts
After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
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Lenny, you live here?
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Sure do! Want the grand tour?
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Absolutely!
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Okay. Stand still and turn your head. You just took the grand tour.
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Task: Make Marge Tour Lenny's Condo (30s, Springfielde Glenne Condos)
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So, I sleep in this corner, I eat in that one, and over there, that's my entertainment corner.
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That's only three corners.
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That's why rent is so cheap.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Corporate Kickstarts Wave 2
After the user logs in on October 1st and tapping on Gil's Corporate Kickstart mark::
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Ol' Gil's back with a brink-of-bankruptcy bookstore! Get bargain basement prices on this dying medium.
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Books will always have a place in yard sale milk crates and on the shelves of penniless schools like ours.
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Offer accepted:
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A sale! At this rate, I'll be eatin' broken hotdogs and bathing in briny hotdog water by Sunday night!
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Offer declined:
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Just you wait. Ol' Gil will have the last laugh when you wind up on the street with him. And I've got the best spot out there – under a nice shady tree and out of the mud puddle splash zone.
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Night at the Book Museum
After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
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Hey, they have ebooks on paper now!
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It's called a book, Homer. That's how people used to read.
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Uggh! Turning two hundred pages?! I'm just one man, Marge.
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Task: Make Marge Peruse Joke Titles (1h, Bookaccino's)
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Sir, please be careful with your coffee around the books.
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Why sell coffee and books in the same place anyway? Next you'll be telling me they sell gasoline alongside cigarettes.
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Actually, service stations do.
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Amazing! This world is passing me by.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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