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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Season Premiere 2016 "Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus" episode tie-in content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Gameplay[edit]

Battle of the Brands[edit]

Battle of the Brands Pt. 1[edit]

After the user logs in on September 21st:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ah, the coffee break: the sweet spot between beer breakfast and lager lunch.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png If you're looking for donuts, forget about it. Burns is on another health kick: all we got is Kombucha and kale.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No donuts?! This isn't like health insurance, you can't just take it away!
Task: Make Homer Take a Personal Day (3h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png You left work and came all the way home just for donuts?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Some men climb mountains, some explore the oceans depths; I brave traffic in search of the elusive baker's dozen of delicacies!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Oh, for the love of... Just go buy some from the Lard Lad.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The tire store?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png It's a donut store!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Really?! No wonder the pink tread on my car tires wore right off.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Brands Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Have I travelled back to a time before giant boys walked the earth?! Where's the Lard Lad statue?
Tapped Out Robert Chan Icon.png Relax, folks. I'm Robert Chan, CEO of Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts. I'm here with the flesh-and-blood Lard Lad to announce that we're sunsetting his likeness and rebranding with something fresh and modern.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Isn't "sunsetting" just corporate doublespeak for "killing off?"
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Makeup on the old mug ain't a bad idea. Maybe I'll do some re-Moe-deling. Youse corporate suits always got good ideas up your sleeves.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Someday I'll have sleeves.
Tapped Out Robert Chan Icon.png To commemorate the unveiling of our new icon, we've partnered with local businesses to offer gift cards, redeemable at all Lard Lad locations.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png As a reviled member of the local business community... I'll pass.
Task: Make Homer Check Mail for Gift Cards (3h, New Lard Lad)
Task: Collect Gift Cards [x12] (3h, New Lard Lad)
Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Lisa, Moe, Ned
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Brands Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Since I'm flush with gift cards, this Prince of Plastic demands four dozen of your finest donuts, please.
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Sorry sir, all these are only good for one donut. Our prices went up to reflect the ostentatious image of our new brand.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What the EpiPen?! A business charging more for the same product?
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Maybe I should glitz up the Quimby image. A little flash might help detract from all my 'er, many broken promises.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png If rap culture and the Catholic church have taught us anything, it's that nothing says "classy" like solid gold everything.
Task: Make Homer Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents (3h, New Lard Lad)
Task: Collect Gift Cards [x12] (3h, New Lard Lad)
Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Moe, Lisa, Apu, Ned, Quimby
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Brands Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Must find... alternative donut. Calories dwindling... pants loosening... shirt buttons relaxing...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Apu, a dozen donuts, stat! Insert directly into this patient's donut hole.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Sorry, Mister Homer, but the health inspector was coming, so I donated my old donuts to the food bank.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Awwww! The needy get all the breaks!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Moe, I normally look to you to get fried but now I need that "fried" to be donuts.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Sorry, all I got is a pickled egg with the yolk missin'. Damn rats love my yolks!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Let the rats have their yolks. I'll find my own donuts.
Task: Make Homer Search for Donuts (3h, Kwik-E-Mart)
Task: Collect Gift Cards [x25] (3h, Kwik-E-Mart)
Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Apu, Ned, Quimby, Marge
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Here donut-donut-donut! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
System Message Tune in to FOX on Sunday 8/7c for the Season Premiere, before unveiling the brand new Lard Lad in the final chapters.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Brands Pt. 5[edit]

After the user logs in on September 25 at 12pm GMT and completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png These new donuts are great! There's "fresh rebranded" flavor in every bite.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png They're snackable, munchable, swallowable and a bunch of other "ables" that I'll make up later!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Damn my voracious donut envy! Gimme one!
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Sorry sir, the price has gone up again. Just like college tuition, if something is more expensive, it makes people want it more.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png As a Springfield College grad, I say that's stupid! Now gimme-gimme!!
Task: Make Homer Beg for Gift Cards (3h, New Lard Lad)
Task: Collect Gift Cards [x30] (3h, New Lard Lad)
Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Apu, Lisa, Moe, Quimby, Cletus
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Brands Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Battle of the Brands Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png You tore down my image for this?! Someone tell me where the face is on this thing so I can spit in it!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It's like a Salvador Dali sculpture gone horribly wrong.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The statue may be a melted mess but these new donuts are great. I can feel the dark donut-less cloud lifting from over my head.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png That's the actual clouds, Dad. Look, the sun is coming out.
Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon.png The Cronenbergian monstrosity has become a thermodynamic weapon!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Snell's bells! Refraction claims another victim, with the focused light and the BURNing!
Tapped Out Robert Chan Icon.png Well, this was a bust. At least we managed to drum up business with all the hype.
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Actually sir, we haven't made a single cent. Everyone's been paying with the free gift cards.
Tapped Out Robert Chan Icon.png Recall those cards before Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts stock plummets and we're bought out!
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Hellooo...
Task: Collect Gift Cards [x36] (3h, Kwik-E-Mart)
Characters: Laird Ladd, Homer, Lisa, Ned, Apu, Quimby, Mr. Burns
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Beer Minimum[edit]

The Beer Minimum Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Finally, goin' to Moe's will mean more than bad beer, ipecac chasers, and urinal fires.
Task: Make Moe Inspect Moe's Brewing Co. (1h, Moe's Brewing Co.)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Beer Minimum Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png There's nothin' here! I was promised golden beer taps, stools that spin, and a real chocolate fountain, not this mud one...
Tapped Out Roscoe Icon.png You ran out of money. We could only do the outside.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png The windows are painted on!
Tapped Out Roscoe Icon.png Actually, they're stickers. Paint is expensive.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I'm gonna have to undertake some creative undertaking which involves a good shovel.
Task: Make Moe Dig a Tunnel to Moe's Tavern (3h, Moe's Brewing Co.)
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png If you want something done right, you have to get your hands dirty. My hands were dirty, so I was way ahead of the game.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Beer Minimum Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Mister Szyslak, your building is half-finished and hazardous. Someone could really get hurt here.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I put up one of them "enter at your own risk" signs.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png But no one would be foolish enough to enter with that hung there.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh! New Moe's!
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Whaddaya know? My best fool has arrived!
Task: Make Homer Visit Moe's Brewing Co. (3h, Moe's Brewing Co.)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Too Much Blood in My Sugarstream[edit]

Too Much Blood in My Sugarstream Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ahh, Cinnabun! That wondrous melange of dough, butter and cinnamon. Blows Thomas Edison and his dumb light bulb right outta the water!
Task: Make Homer Gorge Himself on Cinnamon Buns (3h, Cinnabun)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Too Much Blood in My Sugarstream Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'm wasting precious calories with all this chewing. Just unroll it straight into my mouth and don't stop till my credit card's maxed out.
Task: Make Homer Continue Gorging (3h, Cinnabun)
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Sir, I ran out of Cinna-dough twelve feet ago. You've been eating employee aprons.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Springfield's Got "Talent"[edit]

Springfield's Got "Talent" Pt. 1[edit]

After placing Springfield Bowl:
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Thanks to your donut addictions, I was able to acquire Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Let this be a lesson to you all. With that, I will un-shutter the mines, open smelting plants, and as my final mercurial act, rebuild the Springfield Bowl!
Task: Make Burns Inspect the Springfield Bowl (1h, Springfield Bowl)
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png They don't build them like they used to...
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png And I'll make sure of that. Take out every third screw!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Springfield's Got "Talent" Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png The footlights are lit, flats have been fluffed, and the theatrical union has been fired. Soon the local troglodytes will flock to the new Burns Bowl.
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png Will you be conducting the auditions yourself, sir?
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Look the rabble in the eye?! Heavens no! My mountains of money free me from interaction with my fellow man.
Task: Make Smithers Hold Auditions (4h, Springfield Bowl)
Task: Make Springfielders Audition [x3] (4h, Springfield Bowl)
Task: Make Burns Spy from the Wings (4h, Springfield Bowl)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Springfield's Got "Talent" Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png No, no, no! Less Gilbert, and more Sullivan! Can't you local yokels do anything right?
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png You can lipstick up a pig, but it's still gonna snort like a pig. And until we gets the laws changed, no matter how pretty, you still can't marry it.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png It seems I'll have to make these no-talents know talent myself.
Task: Make Burns Show Them How It's Done (4h, Springfield Bowl)
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Avert your eyes, you vagrant mendicants! Not one word of this escapes these acoustic annals. Lawyers, attack!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Season Premiere Heights Multiplier[edit]

After the user logs in on September 30th:
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Let us reap the rewards of selling out to our new corporate overlords.
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png On behalf of Globaltech-Omnidyn-Synthecorp, we'd like to give back to the social elite who so often get left behind.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Huzzah! Why should the poor be the only ones who get to suckle at the teat of government subsidy?
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png I wonder how much I could get for my other kidney...

Premium gameplay[edit]

Farm to Table[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Wow! A Fancy Farms in our humble little Springfield.
Tapped Out Cecil Icon.png Would you like to sample our organic, vegan-friendly, grass-fed, GMO-hostile asparagus water?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Cecil? What are you doing here?
Tapped Out Cecil Icon.png Diversification, little girl. You don't put all your cage-free eggs into one hand-harvested flax reed basket. Here, try some wheat grass.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Sounds delicious!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It isn't.
Task: Make Lisa Browse Fancy Farms (1h, Fancy Farms)
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Camel milk, emu cheese, Salba seed ice cream... Even I'm not pretentious enough for this stuff.
Tapped Out Cecil Icon.png Just wait till you go through the checkout without a self-composting pomegranate skin bag.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Death of a Spokesman Pt. 1[edit]

Death of a Spokesman Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Laird Ladd's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png What am I supposed to do now? I'm done with donuts, bagels won't have me... there's nothing with a hole left.
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png Tell you what, I'm going to throw you a lifesaver.
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png That's it, Life Savers!
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png No, stay outta candy – empty calories and empty career opportunities. You need to shed the old man routine and rebrand with a fresh image.
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png Since I became a shut-in, I'm already doing all that.
Task: Make Laird Try to Stay Relevant (12h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Death of a Spokesman Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Laird Ladd's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png The market research is in: no one cares about old people. They take forever at checkouts, smell like ointment, and are a constant reminder of our own mortality.
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png What do I do? I tried wearing grillz but the teeth I had holding them on fell out.
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png We've got to associate you with youth, vitality, and pulling all-nighters. We've got to get your raisin face on cans of Buzz Cola.
Task: Make Laird Prove He's Still Got It (12h)
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png I threw my shoulder out, which threw my back out, which threw my... uh-oh my pelvis is gone!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Death of a Spokesman Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Laird Ladd's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png Buzz Cola isn't returning my calls. I couldn't even get you the shower grab-bar modelling gig.
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png Don't give up on me. You gotta get me in somewhere!
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png There is one place. Time to burn scooter rubber to the Springfield Retirement Castle.
Task: Reach Level 19 And Build the Retirement Castle
Task: Make Laird Go to The Retirement Castle (4h, Retirement Castle)
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Ah, a new roommate!
Tapped Out Laird Ladd Icon.png What? No, I'm here to model... I'm a spokesman for... actually, I don't know why I'm here.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Your wristband says you're here to stay. Pull up a puddin' cup and I'll tell ya a ramblin' story.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard[edit]

After buying Quimby's Broken Promises Billboard:
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png In keeping with the 'er court mandate, my accountability will now be tracked on this new billboard. Looks like I'm doing great!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Are you sure those numbers aren't just painted on?
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Of course not. Focus on the highly sophisticated electronics... and ignore the paint all over my hands.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Didn't you promise to stop lying to the public?
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png ...Reset the clock.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Beach Hideaway[edit]

After buying Beach Hideaway:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh! An exclusive beach hideaway.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png That beach body of yours needs to be hidden away.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Your body shaming has no effect on a man who will soon be drunk on Mai Tais and swimming with his dolphin pals.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png The dolphins don't want to swim with you. Your leaking body oils attract sharks.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I like to think it's attracting more friends.

Corporate Kickstarts Intro[edit]

After the user logs in on September 28th and tapping on Gil's Gil Deal Donut Day.pngCorporate Kickstart mark:
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png The city is broke, people! We are hemorrhaging money and need cash fast, or we'll all be selling our likeness to T-shirt companies. But Moe, not you.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png I could pull the city up by its bootstraps...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No! We will not turn to you again to solve our financial crises.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png You could all turn to Gil! Mostly 'cause I lost that vertebrae in my spine that makes ME able to turn to YOU.

Corporate Kickstarts Wave 1[edit]

After completing Corporate Kickstarts Intro:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Big Business to the rescue! Stock your Springfield with corporate juggernauts and get donuts back with every purchase. Ha-cha-cha!
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png When does 'er, the traditional political "palm greasing" come into play?
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Every franchise contract comes with a standard government bribe.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png That is very comforting.
Corporate Kickbacks Store One Panel.pngCorporate Kickbacks Gil Offer.png
Offer accepted:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Oh, boy! This could be Gil's biggest break since both my thumbs!
Offer declined:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Oh, come on! Now the bank is gonna repossess the flaps on my cardboard box.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png It gets chilly without the flaps...

Luxury Condos and Don'ts[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Lenny, you live here?
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Sure do! Want the grand tour?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Absolutely!
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Okay. Stand still and turn your head. You just took the grand tour.
Task: Make Marge Tour Lenny's Condo (30s, Springfielde Glenne Condos)
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png So, I sleep in this corner, I eat in that one, and over there, that's my entertainment corner.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That's only three corners.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png That's why rent is so cheap.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Corporate Kickstarts Wave 2[edit]

After the user logs in on October 1st and tapping on Gil's Gil Deal Donut Day.pngCorporate Kickstart mark::
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Ol' Gil's back with a brink-of-bankruptcy bookstore! Get bargain basement prices on this dying medium.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Books will always have a place in yard sale milk crates and on the shelves of penniless schools like ours.
Corporate Kickbacks Store One Panel.pngCorporate Kickbacks Gil Offer.png
Offer accepted:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png A sale! At this rate, I'll be eatin' broken hotdogs and bathing in briny hotdog water by Sunday night!
Offer declined:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Just you wait. Ol' Gil will have the last laugh when you wind up on the street with him. And I've got the best spot out there – under a nice shady tree and out of the mud puddle splash zone.

Night at the Book Museum[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, they have ebooks on paper now!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png It's called a book, Homer. That's how people used to read.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Uggh! Turning two hundred pages?! I'm just one man, Marge.
Task: Make Marge Peruse Joke Titles (1h, Bookaccino's)
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Sir, please be careful with your coffee around the books.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Why sell coffee and books in the same place anyway? Next you'll be telling me they sell gasoline alongside cigarettes.
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Actually, service stations do.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Amazing! This world is passing me by.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10